A Christian and A Catholic, Possible Marriage

[Convert_in_99]

The document I signed said “I must promise to continue to practice my own Catholic Faith and do everything in my power to raise the children of our union Catholic.” My husband was simply made aware of my obligations, as well as how serious they were to be taken by me. He was not obliged to sign anything, only made fully aware.

We can’t do the impossible. You can’t force another human to do anything. Everything in our power is what is possible. It is really the same as it used to be, just in clearer language.

 

[Steadfast]

The document I signed said “I must promise to continue to practice my own Catholic Faith and do everything in my power to raise the children of our union Catholic.” My husband was simply made aware of my obligations, as well as how serious they were to be taken by me. He was not obliged to sign anything, only made fully aware.

We can’t do the impossible. You can’t force another human to do anything. Everything in our power is what is possible. It is really the same as it used to be, just in clearer language.

Well, not exactly, it used to be that the Ordinary was prohibited from granting the dispensation unless your husband signed a document saying, in effect, that he relinquished all religious rights over the children and would allow you to baptize and raise them Catholic.

That’s kind of a big difference.

 

[mom2Grace]

his biggest “issue” with Catholics is he feels we “worship” saints, and I’ve tried to explain that isn’t what we do, but he still isn’t convinced. I think part of this belief comes from his father, who was once Catholic, but is now just Christian, and attends church, but also has the same feelings about Catholics “worshipping” saints being wrong.

Have you read the book by Patrick Madrid, Any Friend of God’s is a Friend of Mine? If not, I’d suggest you get a copy to read and to give to your boyfriend. It might help him to understand why Catholics believe saints are important.

As a convert from a methodist background, the communication between people on earth and saints in heaven was a real sticky concept for me before I converted. Most protestants really believe that when a person dies, all communication between those in heaven and those on earth is sealed up, impossible. I was taught and believed that the only people/being not on earth that I could talk to was God/Jesus/Holy Spirit. So when Catholics say that they ask saints in heaven to pray for them, many protestants equate that with worship, because they believe they can only communicate with the Lord in that way. I can’t explain things as well as the book, but here is a simple way I think of it, a way that was explained to me and really helped me to understand: Christians often ask their friends/family/other church members to pray for them. Catholics just expand this to asking the saints in Heaven to also pray for them.

Whether or not you stay together, I really hope that your bf can come to a better understanding about the saints in heaven. There are so many misunderstandings about what we believe, most of it due to misinformation.

 

[littlepaperstar]

Here is a quick answer from This Rock.

So it looks like the requirement has been loosened from “The children must be raised Catholic” to “The Catholic party must promise to do all in his or her power to have all the children baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church”

wow, that’s good to know! thanks for posting that.

 

[kg_sterling]

Have you read the book by Patrick Madrid, Any Friend of God’s is a Friend of Mine? If not, I’d suggest you get a copy to read and to give to your boyfriend. It might help him to understand why Catholics believe saints are important.
…

I can’t explain things as well as the book, but here is a simple way I think of it, a way that was explained to me and really helped me to understand: Christians often ask their friends/family/other church members to pray for them. Catholics just expand this to asking the saints in Heaven to also pray for them.

I will look into that book… sounds interesting, even to me. And that is a good point about asking friends/family etc. to pray for you…Thanks for the suggestion.

 

[Convert_in_99]

My wife is Lutheran as are my children and when we got married I was Presbyterian.

When I returned to the Catholic Church I had to get a special dispensation since not only had I married a Protestant, I had married her in a Protestant church. Since my wife was unwilling to have the wedding done over again I had to petition the tribunal for a* radical sanation* which is a double top-secret extra special dispensation from form.

My children were baptized Lutheran and attend Lutheran Christian day school. I talk to them about Catholicism and my daughter will occasionally attend mass with me and I am working on my wife as well but I am very grateful that the code of Canon Law is merciful in this matter, giving me room to work without burdening me with the fear that I am committing mortal sin.

Conversion and reversion after marriage are special circumstances. As long as after that conversion or reversion you are doing everything you can to raise your children Catholic you are fine. Those children were born before you reverted to the faith. If they are older, it certainly cannot be expected that they convert now too. You can only try.

God does not expect the impossible. I would talk to a priest about this, and see how you can best incorporate your Catholic faith into the lives of your children. It would be great if they could receive the sacraments.

Rest assured, their baptisms are valid in the Lutheran Church! I am speaking of First Communion, Confirmation (Luthern Confirmation is not valid for a Catholic), and their marriages (so they don’t run into the same problems you did.) The priest might be able to help you and advise you how to best go about this in your special circumstances.

I don’t see sin here, as long as you are trying your hardest to ensure that they be raised Catholic.

 

[Hellisreal]

My boyfriend posed a question (dating 2 and a half years), if we were to get married, what religion would we practice? I have been raised Catholic and he was raised more in the “Non-denomination” Christian church. We’ve been going to both services, **alternating weekends **for about a year now, and his biggest “issue” with Catholics is he feels we “worship” saints, and I’ve tried to explain that isn’t what we do, but he still isn’t convinced. I think part of this belief comes from his father, who was once Catholic, but is now just Christian, and attends church, but also has the same feelings about Catholics “worshipping” saints being wrong.
Otherwise, he is a great guy, and really is into going to the Non-Denomination church and vocal about praying to God, etc. But in terms of the “future” I’m not sure we can comprimise on this, and if we didn’t, I’m not sure it could even be a possibility. I’d prefer to raise the children catholic, but I’m not sure the saints issue that my boyfriend has, would allow that.
Any suggestions would be appreciated…

Not to pile on more worry to this situation, but you do know that attending his church services do not fulfil your Sunday Obligation.

That being said, I wish you the best in this and hope that it will all turn out fine.

 

[Convert_in_99]

Well, not exactly, it used to be that the Ordinary was prohibited from granting the dispensation unless your husband signed a document saying, in effect, that he relinquished all religious rights over the children and would allow you to baptize and raise them Catholic.

That’s kind of a big difference.

Oh my, it IS fairly different now. It was smart, but not very ecummenical. I thank God I live in the Catholic Church today, with its “new-found” wisdom! :yup:

I love my hubby, and I am glad the Church let me “keep” him!

 

[Cat]

I started dating my husband when we were 15 years old. We’ve been married almost 28 years now.

I think it can “work out” for a Catholic and non-Catholic to get married, but why would you want to do that?

Our shared religion is so special to us.

We were both raised evangelical Protestant and were very faithful in various evangelical churches over the years. Then we began investigating Catholicism.

At one point, he was further along than I was, and wanted to join the Catholic Church. I told him I wasn’t ready yet, but to go ahead without me.

He said no, he wouldn’t leave me behind.

A few months later, I was ready and we both came into the Catholic Church.

If I may say this without sounding crude, I place our shared faith on the same level of importance as our shared bodies. I would not marry a man who was unwilling to share his body with me in the marriage bed (have sex with me), and I would not want to be married to a man who would not share faith with me.

Marriage is when two people become one. But if their faiths are different, they can never be completely one. It’s like a puzzle with a piece that is slightly ripped. Yes, it still fits in its proper place in the picture, but it always looks just a little off and the puzzle tends to fall apart easier at that place.

 

[littlepaperstar]

I think it can “work out” for a Catholic and non-Catholic to get married, but why would you want to do that?

.

If you love someone enough and you wanted to marry them you would want to do that.

Marriage is when two people become one.

That is true.

But if their faiths are different, they can never be completely one

That is not true. In your case, it would be true for you because that is your belief, but everyone is different so this doesn’t apply to everyone.

 

[littlepaperstar]

I have to re-edit this

 

[Trelow]

I don’t think the requirement to raise the kids Catholic is still in effect.

It is.

 

[water]

If you love someone enough and you wanted to marry them you would want to do that…

Not everybody would do that. For me, before I decide to marry someone, that person and I have to walk on the same path - of course I pray about it. Indeed, He has granted my prayer.