A complicated situation

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lnjm906

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A very complicated situation:

A man marries, but separates from his wife, and they no longer live together as man and wife. They no longer consider themselves married.

Two years later he meets another woman, and they wish to pursue a relationship. This other woman is a Catholic, and as much as she loves him, she wants to be sure she’s doing things right. Would it be moral for her to pursue a relationship with him?

A few other things to consider:
  1. He and his current wife were not married in the Catholic faith.
  2. His wife has already taken another lover.
  3. They have not filed for a divorce because she has no job and needs his health insurance.
 
lnjm906 said:
A very complicated situation:

A man marries, but separates from his wife, and they no longer live together as man and wife. They no longer consider themselves married.

Two years later he meets another woman, and they wish to pursue a relationship. This other woman is a Catholic, and as much as she loves him, she wants to be sure she’s doing things right. Would it be moral for her to pursue a relationship with him?

A few other things to consider:
  1. He and his current wife were not married in the Catholic faith.
  2. His wife has already taken another lover.
  3. They have not filed for a divorce because she has no job and needs his health insurance.
Click to expand...
No, it would not be moral for her to pursue a relationship with him.

All of these considerations do not matter.

A marriage by two non-catholics outside of the faith is still considered a valid marriage.
It doesn’t matter what his former wife is doing.
She can get insurance another way. If she has no job, why can’t she apply for medicaid?
 
He’s still married to the first wife.

No woman should pursue a realtionship with him until he is divorced.

A Catholic woman should not pursue a relationship with him until he determines the status of his existing marriage through a marriage tribunal. But, they’re still married, and no one has filed for divorce, so I doubt that a tribunal would even see a basis to look at it at this point.
 
1ke said:
Not complicated at all.

Not until the Church has declared him free to marry. He is currently neither legally free to marry nor is he free to marry in the Church.

Walk away.
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What he posted plus if and when one of the spouses dies a natural death then the other would be free to marry.

God bless
 
lnjm906 said:
A very complicated situation:

A man marries, but separates from his wife, and they no longer live together as man and wife. They no longer consider themselves married.

Two years later he meets another woman, and they wish to pursue a relationship. This other woman is a Catholic, and as much as she loves him, she wants to be sure she’s doing things right. Would it be moral for her to pursue a relationship with him?

A few other things to consider:
  1. He and his current wife were not married in the Catholic faith.
  2. His wife has already taken another lover.
  3. They have not filed for a divorce because she has no job and needs his health insurance.
Click to expand...
He is still considered married and his marriage needs to be anulled BEFORE she can consider any sort of romantic relationship with him. If they are really serious, then they should seek the advice of a wise and holy priest, to get the paperwork started.
 
I wouldn’t even advise an atheist to date him until he gets a civil divorce. A catholic would need to wait for that and an annulment.
 
Thank you all very much for your responses. She is going to talk to him tomorrow night to resolve this situation. Please keep her in your prayers.
 
Not only should he be free and clear of his existing marriage but you should be sure he is fully committed to you. Pursuing a relationship at this point is fraught with peril.

There is a huge difference between the “love” of a romance and THE LOVE on which a life long marriage can be built.

It seems to me, happily married 48 years, that his readiness for a life long marriage would at least require 1) resolution of the first marriage, 2) a clear convincing statement that he intends to be married to you past age 85 if you both live that long, and 3) he really wants YOUR marriage blest by God in a Catholic wedding.

You may be the gateway to him acquiring a stronger faith in God. OR the devil may be at work trying to pull you away from God.

Pray fervently and seek advice from a good Priest.
 
lnjm906 said:
A very complicated situation:

A man marries, but separates from his wife, and they no longer live together as man and wife. They no longer consider themselves married.

Two years later he meets another woman, and they wish to pursue a relationship. This other woman is a Catholic, and as much as she loves him, she wants to be sure she’s doing things right. Would it be moral for her to pursue a relationship with him?

A few other things to consider:
  1. He and his current wife were not married in the Catholic faith.
  2. His wife has already taken another lover.
  3. They have not filed for a divorce because she has no job and needs his health insurance.
Click to expand...
The best thing to do is bring up the situation with a priest to see what his advice is.
 
lnjm906 said:
A very complicated situation:

A man marries, but separates from his wife, and they no longer live together as man and wife. They no longer consider themselves married.

Two years later he meets another woman, and they wish to pursue a relationship. This other woman is a Catholic, and as much as she loves him, she wants to be sure she’s doing things right. Would it be moral for her to pursue a relationship with him?

A few other things to consider:
  1. He and his current wife were not married in the Catholic faith.
  2. His wife has already taken another lover.
  3. They have not filed for a divorce because she has no job and needs his health
    insurance.
Click to expand...
No :eek:
 
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