A Confession How-To?

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Metaron

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Hello, fellow-Catholics. As you all know, I am in RCIA and I’ve never been to Catholic Reconciliation. I was wondering:

1.How does it go down? What do we do and say? Is it always behind a screen? How much detail must I describe the various sins? Do I just say their nature (personal, verbal, sexual, etc.) or say exactly what I did in full detail?

2.What if I commit mortal sin inbetween the time I confess (Saturday night) and the Eucharist (Sunday morning). Why don’t we confess right before Mass?

Just wondering here…:confused:
 
Here is a guide I have given students:

THE SACRAMENT OF RECONCILIATION

Before Confession
  • Ask the Holy Spirit to help you.
  • Examine your conscience.
  • Be sorry for your sins and resolve not to sin again.
In the Confessional
  • You will probably have the choice of confessing behind a screen or face-to-face. (Anonymous confession should always be available; whether to offer face-to-face confession is the priest’s decision.)
  • Make the Sign of the Cross.
  • Say, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been (how long?) since my last confession.” (or, “This is my first confession.”)
  • Confess your sins. You must confess all mortal (serious) sins and the number of times. Deliberately holding back mortal sins makes the whole confession invalid (if you honestly forget, that’s OK). It is also a good idea (but not absolutely necessary) to confess venial (less serious) sins.
  • Express your sorrow, saying, “I am very sorry for all my sins,” or similar words.
  • Listen as the priest counsels you and gives you a penance (some prayers, work of charity, etc.).
  • The priest will ask you to make an Act of Contrition. You can use these words (or another Act of Contrition you have learned):
“O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended You, and I detest all my sins because of Your just punishments, but most of all because they offend You, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Your grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.”​
  • The priest will say the prayer of absolution (forgiveness). Answer “Amen.”
  • The priest will dismiss you. Thank him and leave the confessional.
After Confession
  • After you leave the confessional, do the penance the priest gave you.
Hopefully, if you are truly sorry for your sins and resolve not to sin again, you should be able to make it from Saturday confession to Sunday Mass without a mortal sin! If we truly love Jesus, we would rather die than commit a single mortal sin, since mortal sin cuts us off completely from His friendship and the life of grace. But if you do fall, you can go to Mass without receiving Communion. Then get to confession again as soon as possible.
 
I would also add that in terms of detail you should be specific in what you did, but you don’t need all of the surrounding details. After hearing you confess, the priest should know what you did.

For example, saying, “I committed a verbal sin” or something like that is too vague. There are an infinite number of “verbal sins.” Saying “I took the Lord’s name in vain” is specific. Saying “I took the Lord’s name in vain driving back home from work when someone cut me off” is probably too specific.

Confession can be either behind a screen or face to face. Ask your priest what is done at your parish. I have seen confessionals that you walk into and can either remain behind the screen to confess or walk around it for a face to face confession. If only one type of confession is offered and you want the other, you can seek out another parish.

Prayers for your first confession. I was so nervous my voice was shaking the whole time! Let the priest know it is your first confession. He will help you through if you get nervous and forget something. (It can happen!) After you do it a couple times it gets easier, but it is never easy. One of the best things in the world is freeing your soul from the sin that has separated you from God.

God bless.

-SC
 
Most parishes I’ve seen offer Saturday evening Masses that count as your Sunday obligation… usually the priest will come out of the confessional and head straight into the sacristy to get ready for Mass…

My suggestion, anyway:shrug:
 
If you stay behind a screen, curtain or some other barrier you usually kneel. Then the priest usually says, “Lets begin. In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Amen.” Then he is silent and it’s up to you. I usually say, “Bless me Father for I have sinned. I has been X weeks since my last confession.” Then after that you state your sins. Once your done confessing your sins the priest may talk to you about them. He might give you advice or read from the bible. He’ll also give you something you have to do for your penance to be complete. He might give you a prayer or ten! :o Then he’ll ask you to say your act of contrition. After that, or when I’m just about done, my confessor always starts the words of absolution right when I’m about to finish my act of contrition. It’ll end with “In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

After that, you’re done!

Also if you commit a mortal sin before mass, yes you must go to confession before receiving the eucharist. Most parishes in my diocese offers confession right before Saturday mass, so I’d check and see if your’s does that.
 
Hello, everyone!

My situation is similar to that of the original poster. What if you’re making a first confession and the life you’ve lived up to that point has been less than pure? For example, over the course of my life, I’ve lied, used foul language, been unforgiving, and committed sexual sins. I honestly can’t say how many times I’ve committed these sins, because I didn’t believe they were sins at the time and I wasn’t keeping track of them. I just don’t remember how many times I’ve done these things. Can I make some sort of blanket confession in this case? (Something like, “Over the course of my life I’ve committed sexual sins too many times to count.”?)
 
jnm said:
If you stay behind a screen, curtain or some other barrier you usually kneel. Then the priest usually says, “Lets begin. In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Amen.” Then he is silent and it’s up to you. I usually say, “Bless me Father for I have sinned. I has been X weeks since my last confession.” Then after that you state your sins. Once your done confessing your sins the priest may talk to you about them. He might give you advice or read from the bible. He’ll also give you something you have to do for your penance to be complete. He might give you a prayer or ten! :o Then he’ll ask you to say your act of contrition. After that, or when I’m just about done, my confessor always starts the words of absolution right when I’m about to finish my act of contrition. It’ll end with “In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

After that, you’re done!

Also if you commit a mortal sin before mass, yes you must go to confession before receiving the eucharist. Most parishes in my diocese offers confession right before Saturday mass, so I’d check and see if your’s does that.
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‘Let’s begin’? Oh I hope not - that sounds so casual 😦 I’ve had some priests who simply say ‘Yes?’ and then expect you to begin, which is ok, it really is up to you to begin.

Most will say at least something first - I prefer it when the priest at least says a simple prayer like ‘May God be in your heart and help you to make a good confession’ or something.
 
Quackers said:
Hello, everyone!

My situation is similar to that of the original poster. What if you’re making a first confession and the life you’ve lived up to that point has been less than pure? For example, over the course of my life, I’ve lied, used foul language, been unforgiving, and committed sexual sins. I honestly can’t say how many times I’ve committed these sins, because I didn’t believe they were sins at the time and I wasn’t keeping track of them. I just don’t remember how many times I’ve done these things. Can I make some sort of blanket confession in this case? (Something like, “Over the course of my life I’ve committed sexual sins too many times to count.”?)
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I have never had to count the exact number of times I’ve done a particular sin. Maybe if you’ve only done it once or twice you could mention that. But in your situation I would say, “I have committed numerous sins such as: looking at pornography, premarital sex, etc. etc. etc” Try to be specific, you don’t have to detail it out, just make sure to clearly list the exact sins you have comitted. I think simply saying “I’ve committed sexual sins” is too much.

Don’t worry about openly admitting any sins to a priest, I’m sure they’ve heard it all before and will hear it all numerous more times.
 
jnm said:
I have never had to count the exact number of times I’ve done a particular sin. Maybe if you’ve only done it once or twice you could mention that. But in your situation I would say, “I have committed numerous sins such as: looking at pornography, premarital sex, etc. etc. etc” Try to be specific, you don’t have to detail it out, just make sure to clearly list the exact sins you have comitted. I think simply saying “I’ve committed sexual sins” is too much.

Don’t worry about openly admitting any sins to a priest, I’m sure they’ve heard it all before and will hear it all numerous more times.
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Ok, thanks, your answer helps a lot. 🙂
 
Quackers said:
Hello, everyone!

My situation is similar to that of the original poster. What if you’re making a first confession and the life you’ve lived up to that point has been less than pure? For example, over the course of my life, I’ve lied, used foul language, been unforgiving, and committed sexual sins. I honestly can’t say how many times I’ve committed these sins, because I didn’t believe they were sins at the time and I wasn’t keeping track of them. I just don’t remember how many times I’ve done these things. Can I make some sort of blanket confession in this case? (Something like, “Over the course of my life I’ve committed sexual sins too many times to count.”?)
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You can use a reasonable approximation or a reasonable estimate of frequency, e.g. I had pre-marital sex on several occasions, maybe 1 or twice a week since I was 18, or something along those lines.

We are not required to have to remember an exact number if it’s already beyond our capability. Of course, if it’s been fairly recent and/or the number is quite discrete, then say it outright, e.g. 4 times.
 
Express your sorrow, saying, “I am very sorry for all my sins,” or similar words.
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I second this point especially. I went to confession the other day, and it was just venial sins, nothing mortal, but I hadn’t been in almost a month and I was feeling the venials building up and weakening me so I went. The priest was Spanish and didn’t speak English very well, so I list my sins and I didn’t say “I’m sorry” (Which I usually do). So he asks, “are you sorry” and I said well yes I’m sorry but I don’t “Feel” sorry…imperfect contrition is it called? You must know what I mean, that is I’m not on my knees crying, even though I was sorry. ANyways, he refused to give me absolution for 10 minutes while I tried explaining it to him…definately awkward. 😉
 
porthos11 said:
You can use a reasonable approximation or a reasonable estimate of frequency, e.g. I had pre-marital sex on several occasions, maybe 1 or twice a week since I was 18, or something along those lines.

We are not required to have to remember an exact number if it’s already beyond our capability. Of course, if it’s been fairly recent and/or the number is quite discrete, then say it outright, e.g. 4 times.
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Thank you, porthos. 🙂
 
CHCatholic said:
I second this point especially. I went to confession the other day, and it was just venial sins, nothing mortal, but I hadn’t been in almost a month and I was feeling the venials building up and weakening me so I went. The priest was Spanish and didn’t speak English very well, so I list my sins and I didn’t say “I’m sorry” (Which I usually do). So he asks, “are you sorry” and I said well yes I’m sorry but I don’t “Feel” sorry…imperfect contrition is it called? You must know what I mean, that is I’m not on my knees crying, even though I was sorry. ANyways, he refused to give me absolution for 10 minutes while I tried explaining it to him…definately awkward. 😉
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Oh dear … for future reference imperfect contrition IS still real contrition - still real sorrow, even though it is a case of ‘knowing’ that you are sorry rather than ‘feeling’ that you are sorry. So you could correctly simply say ‘yes I am sorry’ and leave it at that.

An analogy - love for a spouse or child is at least sometimes a matter of knowing that you love them rather than feeling that you love them. I hope you wouldn’t say you don’t really love them unless you feel it - love is just as real, if not more so, at the times you don’t!!!
 
I’ve always wondered when we would be allowed to use the form as described in the Catechism

CCC 1480
Like all the sacraments, Penance is a liturgical action. The elements of the celebration are ordinarily these: a greeting and blessing from the priest, reading the word of God to illuminate the conscience and elicit contrition, and an exhortation to repentance; the confession, which acknowledges sins and makes them known to the priest; the imposition and acceptance of a penance; the priest’s absolution; a prayer of thanksgiving and praise and dismissal with the blessing of the priest.
 
LilyM said:
Oh dear … for future reference imperfect contrition IS still real contrition - still real sorrow, even though it is a case of ‘knowing’ that you are sorry rather than ‘feeling’ that you are sorry…
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Actually, I heard that imperfect contrition (or attrition) has nothing to do with feelings, but, it is contrition because of fear of eternal and temporal punishment. I heard that perfect contrition is contrition because the act offended God, as well as fear of punishment.
 
Evan said:
I’ve always wondered when we would be allowed to use the form as described in the Catechism

CCC 1480
Like all the sacraments, Penance is a liturgical action. The elements of the celebration are ordinarily these: a greeting and blessing from the priest, reading the word of God to illuminate the conscience and elicit contrition, and an exhortation to repentance; the confession, which acknowledges sins and makes them known to the priest; the imposition and acceptance of a penance; the priest’s absolution; a prayer of thanksgiving and praise and dismissal with the blessing of the priest.
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Ideally Form I should always be this way. In reality, I’ve never experienced the reading of the Bible or the prayer of thanksgiving in Form I. It not really feasible when you’ve got 1 priest and dozens waiting to receive the sacrament. That’s why we celebrate, and I prefer, form II which has

1.Greeting & blessing
2.Liturgy of the Word with Homily & Intercessions
3 Examination of Conscience
4 Private confession with imposition of penance & absolution
5 Prayer of thanksgiving
6 Dismissal & blessing

1, 2 & 3 are done with the entire assembly.
Then anyone who wishes to do 4 can go to whichever priest is available.
When everyone who opted for 4 is finished we have 5 & 6 with the entire assembly.

Form II can be celebrated any time but my experience has been that parishes opt for that form in Advent and Lent and retain Form I for the rest of the year.
 
Evan said:
I’ve always wondered when we would be allowed to use the form as described in the Catechism

CCC 1480
Like all the sacraments, Penance is a liturgical action. The elements of the celebration are ordinarily these: a greeting and blessing from the priest, reading the word of God to illuminate the conscience and elicit contrition, and an exhortation to repentance; the confession, which acknowledges sins and makes them known to the priest; the imposition and acceptance of a penance; the priest’s absolution; a prayer of thanksgiving and praise and dismissal with the blessing of the priest.
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I have experienced parts (but probably not all) of this. Examples:

Greeting and blessing from the priest: Many priests have said to me something along the lines of, “May the Lord be in your heart and on your lips that you may confess your sins with true sorrow.”

Reading the word of God: (not that I can remember in individual confession; often done in a reconciliation service)

Confession, penance, and absolution — always

Prayer of thanksgiving — Many priests to whom I have confessed say, “Give thanks to the Lord for He is good,” to which our response should be, “His mercy endures forever.”

Dismissal and blessing — Usually something similar to, “Go in peace, your sins are forgiven.”

So it’s usually just the reading the word of God that is lacking, in my experience.
 
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