A Conversation with Me

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Curious

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I hate to take up a whole thread with this, but I just wanted to share this with you guys. Feel free to read and make comments, read and move on, or just ignore. These are true thoughts.

SCENE 1: We’re getting ready to move. We were at our new house in a new town just recently and were measuring windows and rooms and stuff. I discovered the town’s Catholic Church is very close by. Can hear the bells from my house.

Me: Well, isn’t that nice? You know, it’s so close. I think I’ll go sometimes. It’s been a long time.

Myself: Why? So you can keep on posing?

Me: I’m not posing. I enjoy myself. There’s a difference.

Myself: Sure

I: So when are you going to do all that studying you’ve been thinking about?

Me: I know, I know, my time is so pressed.

Myself: Excuses.

Me: Not excuses! Reasons! Starting internship, 8 month old baby…good grief!

I: Why are you doing this? Let’s be honest. You’re not going to be Catholic. You know you’re not.

Me: I know no such thing.

Myself: Get real. You’ll never do it without husband’s support. You love your pills too much, too.

Me: I wouldn’t say love.

I: I would. You know what they do. Yet you keep pushing it out of your mind, yet you love controlling when you produce a baby.

Me: I’m not entirely convinced it’s wrong.

Myself. You’re more convinced than you think. It’s subconcious, maybe. What if came down to you agreeing with everything about the catholic church except birth control? What would you do?

Me: I have no idea. It’s a difficult question. Besides, it’s more than that. Marian doctrines for example.

I: That’s often one of the biggest hangups of Protestant who convert.

Myself: Why? Why don’t you just find yourself some nice Pentacostal-ish, non denom church like before and forget all this Catholic stuff.

Me: Because I don’t like all that anymore. Because I want something more…concrete somehow. It seems that when I was there, Jesus was more…abstract than He seems in the Catholic Church. Ridiculous? Maybe.

I: Not ridiculous. But let’s be reasonable. You enjoy the singing and the ritual and the great age of the Church. You are pleased by her long history, by the concept of priests, by the pagentry. But will you pray to Mary and the saints? Will you throw out your pills and have children till you dry up? Will you accept that missing Sunday mass is a mortal sin?

Me: I don’t know. Why don’t you leave me alone? Why can’t I just hang out in these Catholic circles and drive myself crazy?

Myself: Because that’s exactly what you’re doing. Is your spiritual life being helped by all this so-called “seeking” you’re doing?

Me: Again, I don’t know. Maybe I should stop struggling so much with you people and let it be.

I: That’s sounds nice but wouldn’t it be nice to actually find a good church in your new town? Something you believe in? Instead of hiding out at home, whining about how you don’t like anything, and flirting with the Church at mass every few Sundays?

Me: You make it sound so dumb when you put it like that.

I could go on and on. It’s long enough already.

Just felt like venting a little. :o
 
I’m glad I’m not the only one who has these internal dialogues!🙂
 
Being a good Catholic is not easy. Jesus said entering Heaven is harder for a camel to go through a needle’s eyes.

Curious, you can take one thing at a time and pray for it. God’s put you next to a Catholic church for a good reason. You can stop by the church once in awhile and pray. An Eucharistic adoration is a great idea. You don’t have to pray for Mother Mary and the Saint’s intercession. As Catholic, we are not required to do so, but many of us know the benefit of praying for their intercession and we just don’t want to throw this gift away.

The pill thing - it is a hard thing to deal with, isn’t it? for now, take one step at a time:
Me: Well, isn’t that nice? You know, it’s so close. I think I’ll go sometimes. It’s been a long time.
Yes, go sometimes - take this as your very first step and let Jesus walk you to the next.

God bless.
 
Curious,
It sounds to me like God may be calling you home to His Church. I definitely think you should go. Those objections are objections we all have at times. But if we always let our fears and objections stop us from seeking Truth, then we will ultimately all be lost. Go to the church and try it ou.
 
Thanks 🙂

I do plan on visiting the church as soon as we get moved. I like mass. Haven’t been in a long time. And I plan on enjoyint those bells…I’m a sucker for em. 👍

Thanks for the encouragement. I’ll try to keep the rants to a minimum, but I might still need to vent and whine from time to time.
 
Thanks 🙂

I do plan on visiting the church as soon as we get moved. I like mass. Haven’t been in a long time. And I plan on enjoyint those bells…I’m a sucker for em. 👍
I used to live near two Catholic churches back in Vietnam. I got to hear the bells early morning, noon and evening. 🙂

I hope you have a safe moving.
 
I’m not a doctor… but I’m sensing some “multiple personalities”…
:rotfl: 😃

God bless and take it slowly… good luck with your move…

Maybe start a similar conversation with your new local priest! 🙂
 
Do not despair. We all deal (or sometimes avoid) with the same struggles. You are not alone.:grouphug:

G.K. Chesterton said, “We do not really want a religion that is right where we are right. What we want is a religion that is right where we are wrong.” –The Catholic Church and Conversion
 
Loved it! Those 3 are noisy, aren’t they? No wonder you just want to spend some quiet time with Jesus and His faithful. Sometimes you can think a thing to death, and then what do
you get? Church bells play by my house too. I love them…:harp:
 
I think “Me” is the hero of the conversation.
LOL…maybe…but she’s also rather whiny and battered by the other two. Poooooorrr li’l ole Me. 😃

The catholic church I’ve gone to several times in a different town was pretty great. Small, great people…did they swarm over to me and pump my arm till it almost fell off and make me stand and introduce myself? No…but there was a “something” about the congregation.

And the priest? Don’t even get me started…the Force is definitely with this guy (been re-watching a little Star Wars lately - overlook it).

I’m hoping I like the new place as much, while at the same time, trying not to depend on people’s friendliness/personality, and church beauty and those type of things too terribly much, you know?
 
Would it be cheesy to say, “Go Me!”? 😃

And Star Wars are great. 😃

Conversations with self are great, btw. 😃
 
You know, with these types of crazy, multiple personality type of questions, I always wonder…Who is Me? Are Myself and I are part of me, really? Or outside doubts? Or evil devlish voices trying to keep me from something true? Or the nice, sane parts of me? Or God? or? or? or?

Whoever said I’m thinking things to death is probably right.😊
 
Positive affirmations. God said His name was “I Am”. What are you really saying when you put yourself down? Is it a reflection of your heart and your feelings for God? Once on the edge of psychosis, I couldn’t say the word “I”. I had a dream with the words “I Am” going over and over in my head. When I woke up I couldn’t say “I”. I realised every time I did , it revealed my heart. So I replaced the word “I” with me and mine. I brought this up to my confessor and he responded with "sure, like the Beatles song “I, Me, Mine”. I had never heard this song before. Now that I have heard it, it makes sense. How’s that for left field? Tim
 
I agree with the posts that suggested you to converse with Jesus, not so much with the three id, ego, and super-ego.
 
Frueds theories on the ego and super ego are wacked. Also, psychology’s sweeping reasoning for a spiritual conversion experience. Tim
 
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