A convert's first confession question

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I tried asking this in the Ask an Apologist forum but never got an answer. I know they probably get far more questions than they can physically get to so don’t know if I’ll ever get an answer there. For that reason I’m asking here in hopes that someone with similar circumstances might be able to give me some insight.

By way of a little history to begin with, I was raised a Protestant and attended Protestant churches for most of my life. About two years ago some circumstances led me to begin studying the Catholic faith and ultimately to decide to convert. I just started RCIA last week and attended my first Mass. Maybe I’ll be able to get this question answered there but I really think about it a lot and so am asking it here.

As a Protestant I was taught that when a person sinned all that was needed was to pray, confess it to God and ask forgiveness. There was also a practice of going to one’s pastor and confessing you had sinned (but only confession in a very general and non-specific way) if you really felt that you had committed a particularly grievous sin. It was however nothing like Catholic confession. A person didn’t spell out what they had done but just basically admitted to a sin they felt very sorry about. Anyway, here is my question.

I was baptized at the age of 10, about forty years ago. Obviously I have accumulated a good number of sins since then, some of them mortal according to the Catholic faith but of course I knew nothing about mortal and venial until relatively recently. So did any of my own personal confessions to God and those times I spoke with a pastor about some particular sin I felt was serious count or once I complete the conversion process and become Catholic should I confess every sin I can recall since age 10? I was sincere at the time I confessed those things and asked forgiveness but of course I wasn’t confessing to a priest.

Yes, it is still awhile before I will have my first confession but given the significant length of time since I was baptized I decided I should start examining my conscience now because of course I want to make a good confession before receiving the Eucharist the first time. I have started that process and it seems almost daily I remember something else from periods I felt I had already covered. I’ve kind of got a grip on the concept of scrupulosity and so I’m beginning to wonder if I’m just so hyper-aware in anticipation of the first confession that I’m dredging up every single thing I ever did wrong. I’m starting to worry that I will take way too much of the confessor’s time trying to cover all those years in one confession. Any insight would be appreciated.
 
Welcome home, Balian! 🙂

I’m an older convert, too. Before my first confession, I did an Examination of Conscience, and made a list. There are several good Examination of Conscience online. Eventually, I made a trip to a Catholic Goods store, bought a good one, and keep it in my purse.

When I went to my first confession, I told the priest that it was my first, and my age. I also told him, there was no way I could tell him how many times I had committed a sin with any accuracy. He told me, “No problem.”

He was wonderful! He guided me through the whole process. He even had me laughing a couple of times.

You’ll do fine. Just tell the priest, it’s your first confession, and he’ll help you.

God bless you!
 
One is obliged to confess all mortal sin in number and kind (and circumstance that changes the sin like it was your sister you murdered) since your valid baptism.

Numbers …if one does not know…well one can approximate according to what one does know. 2-3 times a month for 5 years, around 10-15, I do not know father at least 50 but maybe more, or even at times…many x…or sev x…alot… Depends on what you know and what you did.

Kind: one needs to say the specific kind for mortal sins…adultery, murder, etc…not just general (general is fine for venial sins)

If one forgets…no worries the when one intended to confess all your mortal sins it is forgiven… one is though obilged to confess it in the next confession after one remembers. (one should never hide a mortal sin…such throws the confession and brings more sin etc…but do not fret…such is done knowingly…not by forgetting)

Venial sins are recommended to confess…but not required (they can be forgiven in other ways) and they can be confessed even in a more general way.

In your case I would examine for any you judge were mortal sin (grave matter, full knowledge and complete consent) (one can commit a mortal sin without knowing the term…like murder is a good example…).

Then those things that were grave matter …but which one doubts were mortal in your case.

Confess all these in your first confession…telling the priest that you the later may not have been …and of course your background.

and one can confess venial sins too.

Know that Jesus the Good Shepherd loves you …and gives us true life! And this is one of the ways he does it! I love confession (I too am a convert)…
 
As some one who was baptised as a child, and about to be let into the faith the 9th of the upcoming October. I can tell you yes you will have to confess everything you can remember. I actually started 6 months ago jotting down my sins that I can remember. Don’t see it as a punishment, or even as something that you don’t want to do. From every one I have talked to, confession is usually wonderful. Besides who wouldn’t want to be as perfect as possible before receiving our Lord? 🙂
 
Balian said:
I tried asking this in the Ask an Apologist forum but never got an answer. I know they probably get far more questions than they can physically get to so don’t know if I’ll ever get an answer there. For that reason I’m asking here in hopes that someone with similar circumstances might be able to give me some insight.

By way of a little history to begin with, I was raised a Protestant and attended Protestant churches for most of my life. About two years ago some circumstances led me to begin studying the Catholic faith and ultimately to decide to convert. I just started RCIA last week and attended my first Mass. Maybe I’ll be able to get this question answered there but I really think about it a lot and so am asking it here.

As a Protestant I was taught that when a person sinned all that was needed was to pray, confess it to God and ask forgiveness. There was also a practice of going to one’s pastor and confessing you had sinned (but only confession in a very general and non-specific way) if you really felt that you had committed a particularly grievous sin. It was however nothing like Catholic confession. A person didn’t spell out what they had done but just basically admitted to a sin they felt very sorry about. Anyway, here is my question.

I was baptized at the age of 10, about forty years ago. Obviously I have accumulated a good number of sins since then, some of them mortal according to the Catholic faith but of course I knew nothing about mortal and venial until relatively recently. So did any of my own personal confessions to God and those times I spoke with a pastor about some particular sin I felt was serious count or once I complete the conversion process and become Catholic should I confess every sin I can recall since age 10? I was sincere at the time I confessed those things and asked forgiveness but of course I wasn’t confessing to a priest.

Yes, it is still awhile before I will have my first confession but given the significant length of time since I was baptized I decided I should start examining my conscience now because of course I want to make a good confession before receiving the Eucharist the first time. I have started that process and it seems almost daily I remember something else from periods I felt I had already covered. I’ve kind of got a grip on the concept of scrupulosity and so I’m beginning to wonder if I’m just so hyper-aware in anticipation of the first confession that I’m dredging up every single thing I ever did wrong. I’m starting to worry that I will take way too much of the confessor’s time trying to cover all those years in one confession. Any insight would be appreciated.
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I expect that all your concerns will be answered in RCIA and the first confessions will be arranged to give you enough time, and with the priest aware that it is your first confession. So, don’t sweat it!

Nevertheless, to answer some of your concerns in the meantime…

I am a convert from Anglicanism, and as an Anglican I had made one confession to a priest. Before my first Catholic confession I asked my Catholic priest whether I had to repeat the sins mentioned in my Anglican confession. The answer was “yes”, because, while the Anglican confession was commendable, it did not count as a sacramental confession. Similarly, your various confessions as a Protestant have been commendable, but do not count as sacramental confession. I am quite certain of that.

With regard to sins committed as a Protestant you should also remember that the sinfulness of past actions is judged with regard to what you knew at the time. There are quite a number of things which are regarded as “sinful” within Catholicism, and not in Protestantism, and vice versa. This can affect whether or not a “mortal” sin was committed with full knowledge, or whether there was even any sin. I seem to recall one of the apologists saying that use of a contraception as a Protestant does not need to be confessed when one becomes a Catholic, BUT I am not sure of that, so don’t quote me! Definitely, missing Sunday church services as a Protestant is not a mortal sin in the same way it is for Catholics, as one is only bound by the obligations of one’s particular community.

We sometimes have the mistaken notion that the validity of the absolution depends on the quality of the confession, ie. the better I confess, the better I am absolved. That is not so. So long as one gives adequate preparation and attention to the confession, particularly to the confession of “mortal sins”, and is sincere in the confessional, and follows any instruction from the priest, then one is completely absolved of all sins. If any mortal sins are accidentaly ommitted then they should be mentioned at the next confession, but they do not invalidate the confession. I am sure that your RCIA instructors will ensure that you are adequately prepared, and that the priest will guide you through it. Your task is to follow their instructions, not to go to great lengths to make a “perfect” confession.

I would suggest that you don’t think about your past sins again (or don’t think about them much), until RCIA is preparing you for your first confession.

Best wishes with it all, and look forward to walking out of your first confession with “pardon and peace” 🙂
 
You will need to discuss with the RCIA instructor or parish priest the validity of your baptism, which I am guessing is good.

So, since our baptism, you will need to ask of the HOLY SPIRIT to open your memory of your sins. The times and confession you made to your pastor are invalid in as much as JESUS gave to HIS priests the sacrament of confession and penance. The loss and separation from “Apostolic” inheritance prevents the validity of the sacraments in spontaneous churches.

As you prepare for your first confession, I would suggest you make an appointment with the Parish priest and go “face-to-face” versus behind the veil. I have done both, and I prefer face to face when it is available. I cannot explain the grace and power GOD provides to both you and the priest when you sit next to him, and confess. Generally, he is not looking at you, but down at the ground - unless to make a point - but it brings home that he does stand in the shoes of JESUS. And face-to-face opens your heart. It is no longer that you have something to “hide” behind the veil, but that you are coming into the light and presence of CHRIST to be honest and humble. An amazing experience.
 
I appreciate all of the replies to my question. I can honestly say that each person who posted gave me some helpful and needed insight. I feel that my question has certainly been answered and you all blessed me with some additional information that helps me to understand confession better and how I need to approach it. I will be speaking with my RCIA counselor about my baptism but I don’t have any doubt it will be deemed valid. I have researched that and know it was done in the accepted manner and I have the necessary documentation. Actually it seems it would be simpler for me if that were not the case. 🙂 But now I do understand I need to address all the sins since that time. I agree that a face to face confession especially for the first confession would likely be the best in my circumstances given the lengthy time period I’ll have to cover. Thanks again.

God bless you all,
Balian
 
One thing that my RCIA instructor told us when our class was asking about confession was about something that she does in confession. Once she has named all the sins that she can remember she finishes her confession by saying, “for these, and for any other sins that I may have committed, I am sorry.”

It’s something that I have taken to doing as well. It’s a good way to “mop up” after oneself, as it were.

And as for which way to do confession, try both methods (behind the veil and face-to-face) before deciding on which one you would prefer. Neither is “easier” than the other. It’s all a matter of preference. You’ll receive the same absolution either way. I personally prefer kneeling when giving my confession, and so I usually choose the veil. The confessionals at my school however have kneelers in both the face-to-face and veil sides, so which I choose is really a toss up. Although for continuity’s sake, I usually go for the veil.
 
If you are attending RCIA, they will usually schedule a time for your first confession. They take into account that it could last a long time.

I am a convert from a Protestant church, I confessed all that I could remember. I included the sins that the Protestant church didn’t count, I just explained the situation. For example, I missed many church services, but I was never aware of my sin in this case. The priest who heard my first confession was also a convert, from the Anglican Church, and walked me through it.

I had doubts about “confession” before I experienced it, now I try to go every couple weeks and I love this sacrament!

Congrats on your journey Home!
 
GeorgiiMichael said:
One thing that my RCIA instructor told us when our class was asking about confession was about something that she does in confession. Once she has named all the sins that she can remember she finishes her confession by saying, “for these, and for any other sins that I may have committed, I am sorry.”

It’s something that I have taken to doing as well. It’s a good way to “mop up” after oneself, as it were.

And as for which way to do confession, try both methods (behind the veil and face-to-face) before deciding on which one you would prefer. Neither is “easier” than the other. It’s all a matter of preference. You’ll receive the same absolution either way. I personally prefer kneeling when giving my confession, and so I usually choose the veil. The confessionals at my school however have kneelers in both the face-to-face and veil sides, so which I choose is really a toss up. Although for continuity’s sake, I usually go for the veil.
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Thank you for the great suggestions. Excellent and very helpful information. It is seeming a lot less intimidating after all the great (name removed by moderator)ut everyone is offering.

Blessings,
Balian
 
Newsy said:
If you are attending RCIA, they will usually schedule a time for your first confession. They take into account that it could last a long time.

I am a convert from a Protestant church, I confessed all that I could remember. I included the sins that the Protestant church didn’t count, I just explained the situation. For example, I missed many church services, but I was never aware of my sin in this case. The priest who heard my first confession was also a convert, from the Anglican Church, and walked me through it.

I had doubts about “confession” before I experienced it, now I try to go every couple weeks and I love this sacrament!

Congrats on your journey Home!
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Thank you Newsy and I really appreciate the insight. I have been so blessed with some really good, helpful information. It is really helpful to hear the experiences of another convert.

God bless you,
Balian
 
Balian said:
Thank you Newsy and I really appreciate the insight. I have been so blessed with some really good, helpful information. It is really helpful to hear the experiences of another convert.

God bless you,
Balian
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If you have any questions about conversion, please send me a message. I am not always near a computer, but I will answer any questions I can.
 
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