A couple questions regarding Holy Communion

[Good_Daughter]

First, I sometimes play for a choir in a nearby parish. Because of the group’s size, they sing from the choir loft. The choir director, a wonderful woman, really likes the choir to recieve under both species at communion like everyone else in the congregation. In the past, an EMHC would come up to the loft, leave the chalice and ciborium (sp?) on the organ and the choir director and another member (neither are EMHCs) would distribute to the choir. I spoke to the director about this and she asked a priest for an EMHC to stay and distribute to the choir. This was granted but the choir director still distributes from the chalice. Is this acceptable?

Second, I have an acquaintence who lives openly in an unchaste relationship with her boyfriend. She is part of a parish music ministry and recieves Holy Communion every week. She seems like a lovely peron and its hard not to feel judgemental toward her but I know she is doing something wrong. Should I try talking to her directly (awkward as I hardly know her) or maybe a priest? I’m a bit lost on this one. Any suggestions?

 

[puzzleannie]

. I spoke to the director about this and she asked a priest for an EMHC to stay and distribute to the choir. This was granted but the choir director still distributes from the chalice. Is this acceptable?
whoever distributes from the chalice needs to be commissioned as an EMHC and taught to do it properly, surely not hard to do for the choir director or any other music minister. I hope they allow sufficient time for the choir members to swallow the sacred species and have at least a few moments of meditation before they begin singing again.

?

 

[Dirk_Skene]

As long as the choir director is a EM all is well. As far as the friend living with her boyfriend … she should not be going to communion. I have not gone in 4 years. I am married, but my wife has not applied for an annulment from a previous marriage.

 

[promethius95945]

Easiest Fix:

1. Talk to your choir director. If the director is certified as an EM also then there is no more problem for distributing Communion.
2. Talk to the girl. Let her know that taking Communion while not in a state of sanctifying grace is sacrilage and sinful in the eyes of the church (and, by extension, God). If she truly is a “lovely” person as you say, then she most likely simply doesn’t know this fact (you’d be suprised how few catholics are aware of it). You might solve the problem privately right then and there with as little embarassment as possible. If she refuses to listen, talk to the priest who will have to work with the EM and the director… but that will be difficult because so many of both the clergy and lay ministers lack the fortitude to deny people the Eucharist (avoidance of confrontation is the great downfall of a society that leans more and more towards relativism).

 

[Good_Daughter]

Easiest Fix:

1. Talk to your choir director. If the director is certified as an EM also then there is no more problem for distributing Communion.
2. Talk to the girl. Let her know that taking Communion while not in a state of sanctifying grace is sacrilage and sinful in the eyes of the church (and, by extension, God). If she truly is a “lovely” person as you say, then she most likely simply doesn’t know this fact (you’d be suprised how few catholics are aware of it). You might solve the problem privately right then and there with as little embarassment as possible. If she refuses to listen, talk to the priest who will have to work with the EM and the director… but that will be difficult because so many of both the clergy and lay ministers lack the fortitude to deny people the Eucharist (avoidance of confrontation is the great downfall of a society that leans more and more towards relativism).

The choir director is definitely not an EMHC.

The “girl” is nearly sixty, two decades my senior. I know she was raised Catholic, but I’m not sure how good her Catholic education was. I’d be nervous trying to talk to her. Has anyone ever just told someone else outright that they shouldn’t be receiving? Yikes, that sounds tricky.

 

[promethius95945]

The “girl” is nearly sixty, two decades my senior. I know she was raised Catholic, but I’m not sure how good her Catholic education was. I’d be nervous trying to talk to her. Has anyone ever just told someone else outright that they shouldn’t be receiving? Yikes, that sounds tricky.

Perhaps you shouldn’t do it outright then. Maybe a better way to raise the point is in the form of a question… a “hey did you know?” type deal that would inform her if she was otherwise unaware.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

The choir director is definitely not an EMHC.

The “girl” is nearly sixty, two decades my senior. I know she was raised Catholic, but I’m not sure how good her Catholic education was. I’d be nervous trying to talk to her. Has anyone ever just told someone else outright that they shouldn’t be receiving? Yikes, that sounds tricky.

I would suggest you not go there. I have a friend who did and got in a lot of trouble over it. The person he spoke with stopped coming to Church, and the pastor found out about it and told him he had no business doing what he did.

Jim

 

[promethius95945]

I would suggest you not go there. I have a friend who did and got in a lot of trouble over it. The person he spoke with stopped coming to Church, and the pastor found out about it and told him he had no business doing what he did

That is why i suggest caution and tact in how the situation is approached. HOWEVER, let us remember that the celebration of the Eucharist is the Sacrament Most Holy and SHOULD be protected by ALL members of the church.

If the person in your example spoke out harshly then they crossed the line, but if the person treated others with christian charity and love then the pastor was out of order to admonish someone who was defending the Body and Blood of our Precious Lord.

 

[Tantum_ergo]

It might be a good idea for Father to speak out on this, in the bulletin perhaps, or as part of the homily (plenty of opportunity with several of Paul’s epistles or the story of the woman caught in adultery, for example, to ‘lead into’ receiving unworthily). Then it comes from the ‘leader’, it comes across as authoritative (not from someone who could easily be wrongly perceived as a trouble-maker, holier-than-thouist), it reaches all the people at the Mass (repeat as necessary). . .really, a better scenario. Of course, it looks as though you might be the one who tactfully has to let Father know that there is a specific area where you would like him to subtly emphasize the Church’s teaching (no need to give details) for the greater good of his parishioners.

 

[Good_Daughter]

It might be a good idea for Father to speak out on this, in the bulletin perhaps, or as part of the homily (plenty of opportunity with several of Paul’s epistles or the story of the woman caught in adultery, for example, to ‘lead into’ receiving unworthily). Then it comes from the ‘leader’, it comes across as authoritative (not from someone who could easily be wrongly perceived as a trouble-maker, holier-than-thouist), it reaches all the people at the Mass (repeat as necessary). . .really, a better scenario. Of course, it looks as though you might be the one who tactfully has to let Father know that there is a specific area where you would like him to subtly emphasize the Church’s teaching (no need to give details) for the greater good of his parishioners.

Thanks, this makes alot of sense.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

That is why i suggest caution and tact in how the situation is approached. HOWEVER, let us remember that the celebration of the Eucharist is the Sacrament Most Holy and SHOULD be protected by ALL members of the church.

If the person in your example spoke out harshly then they crossed the line, but if the person treated others with christian charity and love then the pastor was out of order to admonish someone who was defending the Body and Blood of our Precious Lord.

First off, just because two elderly people live together, doesn’t mean they’re having sex together. Many elderly people are beyond the sex thing and live together for companionship. Also, if one is a widow, if they marry they lose their deceased husband’s pension.

So, for a music director, its better off left alone.

Jim

 

[4HisChurch]

First off, just because two elderly people live together, doesn’t mean they’re having sex together. Many elderly people are beyond the sex thing and live together for companionship. Also, if one is a widow, if they marry they lose their deceased husband’s pension.

So, for a music director, its better off left alone.

Jim

I thought the same thing, Jim. They could be living “as brother and sister”–one never knows.

 

[promethius95945]

I thought the same thing, Jim. They could be living “as brother and sister”–one never knows.

Because one never knows is exactly the reason that a respectful and private approach SHOULD be used (or the approach suggested by tantum ergo). Just because they MIGHT not be living in sin does not mean that one should jeopardize their reception of the sacraments by not breaching the subject. Again, it might simply be a matter that the lady does not know not to take the sacrament OR that the lady is not living in sin and the clarification needs to be made for the peace of mind of the laity who have recognized the potential for a Eucharist Jeopardizing situation.

 

[MusicMan]

On a lot of this stuff, it’s much wiser to mind your own business. When the change was made to have the extraordinary minister of Holy Communion to stay to minister the host, the Choir Director may very well have been deputized by the pastor to serve this function. It seems a bit silly to have two emsHC minister to the Choir.

As for the other matter, “openly unchaste relationship with her boyfriend.” How do you know?

My recommendation is to stay out of it on both matters. If you witness profanation of the Eucharist on the part of the Choir Director, charitably call her on it.

Incidentally, I have been deputized by my pastor as a reader and to serve as an emHC. I am also a Choir Director. I was deputized to get some experience in these areas for a potential future application to the Diaconate. I read at Daily Mass in the Summer and occassionally help distribute Communion when I am needed. If I were to distribute Communion to my own choir, I wonder if people would jump to conclusions about me. I know I wouldn’t appreciate it very much.