A Dangerous Poll: Save your spouse or your child?

[brandymmiller]

Indeed there is an obligation to choose one over the other. Parenthood demands that we give our lives, if necessary, to save our children. There can be no questions here, no hesitation. The child has primacy. Our husband, if he is any sort of father at all, would agree.

 

[teachccd]

Spouse or child??? Heck, I’d save my dog!!!

 

[pnewton]

What was this type of scenario called? Was it values clarification?

sockheaven.net/discography/taylor/fritz/08.html

I will pass on this survey. I find it disturbingly pointless. I actually remember a teacher who did a lifeboat scenario in school. I decided then that I would rather jump out myself than throw someone out. Better yet, we all die together, but die with our humanity intact.

 

[He_Man]

What was this type of scenario called? Was it values clarification?

sockheaven.net/discography/taylor/fritz/08.html

I will pass on this survey. I find it disturbingly pointless. I actually remember a teacher who did a lifeboat scenario in school. I decided then that I would rather jump out myself than throw someone out. Better yet, we all die together, but die with our humanity intact.

To assume we have an obligation to save the child is IMO not correct, if we knew the spouse had the stain of mortal sin on their soul. Better to die in grace as a child than die in mortal sin as an adult.

But I agree with Pnewton, disturbingly pointless is a good way to put it.

 

[strngrnrth]

From the bottom of the road it looked like the house was gone, and I prayed and prayed for my husband’s safety. Many Hail Mary’s believe me!!!

The fire was stopped 40 feet from the home. A firefighter drove down to tell me, and we were all reunited, though the embers burned for 3 days around our home.
sojo

God is great!

 

[masterjedi747]

You are in no position to post what appears to be a divisive, pointless topic whose answers don’t in any way invalidate the love someone has for their spouse OR child, and then get mad because someone counters your question with a series of conditional questions as well.

Sure I am. I asked the question, I clarified that it was an absurd situation, and yet people are still pulling the thread off topic with criticisms and “conditional questions” that are absolutely immaterial to the real question at hand. It’s the choice in the scenario that I asked about, not the details about the scenario in which the choice is framed.

And no, I’m not mad.
Just kind of frustrated that some people insist on being unnecessarily difficult.

What WAS your point with this?

To find out what the general opinion of the members of this forum might be regarding this sort of question. And so far, the poll is turning out some surprisingly solid results.

No one is obligated to answer silly, meaningless questions, no matter how many times you demand it.

No, of course they’re not. If you want to participate, do so. If you don’t, then don’t.
But there’s no need to start attacking the question on superficial and/or irrelevant grounds.

 

[vern_humphrey]

Hello, has anyone ever been on a cliff? Let’s see, who can you successfully grab: a full-grown man/woman or a small child? Although both have a serious risk.

My point, exactly!

 

[vern_humphrey]

No, of course they’re not. If you want to participate, do so. If you don’t, then don’t.
But there’s no need to start attacking the question on superficial and/or irrelevant grounds.

It’s a superficial and irrelevant question.

 

[Crepusculum]

To assume we have an obligation to save the child is IMO not correct, if we knew the spouse had the stain of mortal sin on their soul. Better to die in grace as a child than die in mortal sin as an adult…

Just to throw another little spaniel in the proverbial works, assuming that the parent clinging on for dear life is also yelling “Save my child!”, and taking these two passages of scripture into account:
Mk 8:35:

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.

Mat 25:40:

The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’

Can we possibly say that parent in their selfless act is not in a state of grace?

 

[Ted_in_Charlott]

Since the scenerio is not spelled out, I would assume it is a minor child. So, since this is a Moral Theology question, I save my wife because my child is more likely to be in a state of grace, without any more information.

If I save the child and my wife is in a state of mortal sin then I didn’t give her a chance to repent and confess. Then I am responsible for sending her to hell. So if I make a conscience act that results in another going to hell then I am in mortal sin also.

Unfortunately, my wife probably would blame me for the child’s death then end up divorcing me and living unrepentant the rest of her days and she dies in a state of mortal sin, anyway. So by saving her, I send her to hell that way also. So I probably should save the child and at least he might say thanks.

How about a third choice, save the dog (it’s hard to replace a good dog)

How about a fourth choice, I jump off the cliff holding hands with the other two all the down? (Kinda like Crotching Tiger/Hidden Dragon)

Aren’t these scenerios fun?

 

[Island_Oak]

I would save our child. That is what my husband would want me to do.

Almost what I would say…except to add that he’d kill me if I let anything happen to one of our kids to save him.

 

[ALLFORHIM]

This question came up last night, and inspired a surprising amount of debate and discussion, so I figured I’d throw it out here and see what people think.

Here’s the situation:

You find both your wife/husband and your child dangling from the edge of a cliff. There is no time to speak with anyone, and you only have the option to save one of them. You know that the one you don’t save will fall to his/her death.

Which one would you save, and why?
Is there an obligation to save one over the other?

In addition to posting your explanations, please also place a vote on the poll above.

Sadly I would probably not be able to save either because Im not strong enough

 

[kalt]

I’m amazed at how many people in this thread got so bogged down in the details of the question, that they never found the point.

I’m flashing on Monk here. Only Monk would eventually solve the mystery, and would tell us if it were an accident or a murder.
Was this a heroic spouse who put his child’s life ahead of his wife’s, knowing that that’s what she would have wanted? Or was this a carefully thought-out plot to murder his wife and get away with it? ---- Since everyone was going off-course anyway, why not really take a trip, and jump the tracks.

 

[pnewton]

FYI - This is a link to a value clarification satire music video.

youtube.com/watch?v=JaG2-MGtCVE

 

[newbetx]

Which one is in a state of grace (to the best of your knowledge)? You then let that one go. If both are in a state of grace (to the best of your knowledge) then it does not matter which one goes.

The one who dies (given they are in a state of grace) goes to heaven. We have a moral obligation, especially as spouses, to get our other half to heaven. The loss would of course be devastating in this world, but knowing he was in heaven would be a comfort to me.

I am not able to have children, so I can only speak hypothetically about them. But the same assumption applies - if the child is in a state of grace, and my husband is not, I save my husband. And vice versa.

~Liza

I heard a story similar to this… goes something like this.

A man comes to speak at a church about the saving grace that he received. The man is given a short introduction by the pastor and he starts his story.

“Once I was on a small sail boat with my best friend and his dad. Well the seas got unexpectantly rough and the boat took on water and was crushed before we knew what was happening. My friend was always a good Christian and I wasn’t. As it happened, because of the quickness of the event, the father only had one life vest in his hand and the two of us boys had drifted far apart. He chose to throw me, the sinner, the vest and leave his son’s fate to God. His son died, while I lived. I’m here, today, to give thanks to that man” (as he points to the pastor).

 

[Newbie2]

Maybe a better OP question would be along the lines of “If you had to save your spouse or your child from a (fill in scenario here)…etc.”

 

[masterjedi747]

What was this type of scenario called? Was it values clarification?
sockheaven.net/discograph…/fritz/08.html
…I actually remember a teacher who did a lifeboat scenario in school.

FYI - This is a link to a value clarification satire music video.

This is not a “values clarification” scenario, for one simple reason:

The relationship between a husband and wife and child is not the same sort of relationship that exists between five random people with various disabilities on a lifeboat.

If the scenario had involved a disabled child, an old man, and a millionaire hanging off a cliff, then you might have a point. But it doesn’t, and I never would’ve asked such a question if it did.

Maybe a better OP question would be along the lines of “If you had to save your spouse or your child from a (fill in scenario here)…etc.”

That’s exactly what the real opening question was.

It’s just that, unfortunately, I tried to make things a little easier by filling in the (blank scenario) with an absurd example. I probably should have anticipated that it might have backfired.

Although in fact, I think the example is supposed to be absurd in order to direct your attention more quickly to the real question at hand… so that people don’t get bogged down in the real-life particulars, like “I’d save one and I’d let the firefighters save the other”.

 

[Scott6003]

I don’t think I could ever answer a question like that. I honestly don’t even think a question like this should be asked.

~Scott

 

[brianwalden]

People here are so illogical or they just don’t want to answer the question.
They go to great lengths to get around it.

Forget the situation, who would you choose, spouse or child.

Simple enough.

If you want a logical answer you need to ask a logical question. Something like this:

Given:
You have spouse and one child
You are in a situation where both of their lives in danger
It is 100% certain that you can save one and only one person in addition to yourself

What do you do?

The situation is inherently unrealistic because it’s nearly impossible to find a real-life situation that is this black and white. The more you throw real life conditions like mountain climbing, the more people will come up with reasons why it’s an unrealistic question.

My answer is to look at what I would do if I were the spouse whose life was in danger. I would tell my wife to save our child as it’s my duty as a father to put my family before myself. So i would save my child and pray for my wife. I personally wouldn’t be thinking about who’s in a state of grace. First of all we have no way to know for sure. Secondly, if we’re meant to spend eternity in heaven God will not let an untimely death keep us out. If we desire to confess our sins but do not have the chance to receive last rites, I’m confident that He will give us the opportunity to make a perfect act of contrition before we die.

 

[sarah_anne_628]

I don’t have any kids, but I sometimes already feel the impulse to save someone else’s child over my hubby if I were ever met with such a choice (like if I only had time to pull one person out of a burning building).