A dangerous temptation

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Monica4316

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Hi,

I really wish I could ask a priest about this right now… but sadly it’s late in the evening so I can’t go to any church.

I don’t know why but recently I’ve been going through many temptations. Tonight, I was tempted very strongly to blaspheme God, but I did not. He gave me strength. Then, I started praying for my family and - I always pray for the salvation of everyone in my family - and I was asking St Padre Pio to pray for them too.

After a while I got this horrible temptation… to think that if I offered my soul to the devil (to go to hell) in place of another soul who is not currently in a state of grace, the devil would let that other soul go. I thought initially, this is ridiculous, firstly - the devil is a liar and if he makes a “deal” like this, there’s no guarantee it would work, secondly - Christ is the one who redeemed us! and thirdly - Jesus doesn’t want me to go to hell, and I don’t want to go to hell, especially because He died for me and I don’t want His death to be in vain for me! I did not feel like this thought - temptation - came from me at all. It was imposed upon me.

I rejected it with my reason/will, but began getting these feelings, like “this means I don’t love this person enough…” etc. It’s at this moment that I sort of wavered and almost considered this idea for a few moments. However my reason was telling me this is all wrong, so I rejected it again.

Then I began to pray and saw it as a dangerous temptation, because God would never exchange one soul for another (He died to save souls), and the devil would not keep any promise because he’s a liar… and most importantly, - Jesus wants us BOTH in Heaven!! I forced myself to completely reject the whole temptation and told Jesus that I don’t want anything from the enemy, even if it’s an answer to my prayer, rather I would ask God for His mercy and then both me and my family members would be saved. I then prayed to Mary too. Now it seems sort of evident to me that this wasn’t a good thought.

Here’s the problem… I’m afraid that during those moments when I wavered, that I accepted this idea… and sinned… and Im also afraid that it will actually come true. I know this is probably superstitious… I want to confess this and also tell Jesus that I accept His salvation, and pray for His mercy for myself and everyone I know. (It’s also proud to think that someone I know is not in a state of grace, I have no way of knowing this).

But I still have a bit of that fear/temptation, that I must not love that person enough, - and I don’t think this is the truth, because I do love them, but I love Jesus most of all and I don’t want to reject His death for me. And I don’t want anything to do with the devil, rather I want my prayers answered only by God and according to His will.

Please give me some advice on how I could overcome this… would you agree this was a temptation? I’m surprised how strong it was and how much I had to fight it. But would you agree that God wouldn’t ask someone for this? I know that He’s asked chosen souls (not me, I am not worthy) to be “victims” for others, but He meant earthly suffering. He wouldn’t ever ask anyone to give up their salvation would He?? If not, then surely the devil was trying to trick me 😦 what I want most is to go to Heaven, and what I want next is for my loved ones to also be saved - and maybe the enemy was using that good desire to tempt me.

thank you. SORRY this is so long. :o
 
I’ve prayed about this some more and now it terrifies me that I even went through this. I feel it is not God’s plan for salvation. The way we are saved is through His Cross, not by making ridiculous pacts with the enemy that won’t result in anyone’s salvation anyway. God’s mercy, however, can bring all souls to Heaven and that is our REAL hope. I think the enemy was trying to trick me to give away my salvation under a false idea (that wouldn’t have worked anyway). It’s also crossed my mind that God was testing me to see how much I love this person, but He knows that I also love Him and don’t want to reject Him. It’s really scary to me that I went through this, because I feel very weak, I’m afraid that somehow I gave in, or that in the future I’d give in to whatever other temptation will happen to me.

All of this only started happening after I went to Confession on Saturday… maybe it’s a good sign, I don’t know, but Im very very scared 😦 I’m asking here cause I don’t know where else to ask, lol. Please help me figure out what happened to me.
 
Deep breath, child. It sounds like you are have a bad case of scrupulosity right now. Keep you mind clear and think of only of Jesus and His infinite love and compassion for you. Say your rosary and pray for guidance. Let the mysteries fill your mind so full of Christ that there is room for nothing else.

I will also be pray for you.
 
St. Michael the Archangel , defend us in battle; be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou,
O prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
 
Monica4316 said:
I’ve prayed about this some more and now it terrifies me that I even went through this. I feel it is not God’s plan for salvation. The way we are saved is through His Cross, not by making ridiculous pacts with the enemy that won’t result in anyone’s salvation anyway. God’s mercy, however, can bring all souls to Heaven and that is our REAL hope. I think the enemy was trying to trick me to give away my salvation under a false idea (that wouldn’t have worked anyway). It’s also crossed my mind that God was testing me to see how much I love this person, but He knows that I also love Him and don’t want to reject Him. It’s really scary to me that I went through this, because I feel very weak, I’m afraid that somehow I gave in, or that in the future I’d give in to whatever other temptation will happen to me.

All of this only started happening after I went to Confession on Saturday… maybe it’s a good sign, I don’t know, but Im very very scared 😦 I’m asking here cause I don’t know where else to ask, lol. Please help me figure out what happened to me.
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*Dear Monica,
I do not know if I can help you figure this out. But, I believe I can relate and
I agree with fermat, take a deep breath, just breath in God’s breath into the deepest recesses of your very being.
Remember, God’s Divine Mercy is always there no matter how many times we are tricked and fall or give into temptation. God knows we are weak, that is why He gives us Himself so that we can heal from this weakness. Stay close to Him…
Satan has no power over Him…

Another thought, I do not know if we can give away our salvation…God is our Savation…so to me to think we can give our salvation away is saying we have some control over God. Now I do understand that we can reject our Salvation, Jesus Christ…but I do not believe we can just give it away…we have no control over God …we can either accept Him or reject Him…

As a child I remember reading stories about how some people did make deals with the devil to get something they desperately wanted. I do know, according to the story, that this deal was broken through God’s intervention through the prayers of Our Blessed Mother Mary and Saints.
I am sorry I do not remember the specifics of the stories but my point is even if you did make a deal for your Salvation, your Salvation, Jesus Christ, is still there. I do not believe He will ever leave us. But we could despair and reject Him thinking we do have some control over Him and what He offers us.

I so hope and pray this makes some sense…

St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in this day of battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. And do thou Prince of the Heavenly Host, cast into Hell Satan, and all his evil spirits, who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen!
*
 
Monica4316 said:
Hi,

I really wish I could ask a priest about this right now… but sadly it’s late in the evening so I can’t go to any church.

I don’t know why but recently I’ve been going through many temptations. Tonight, I was tempted very strongly to blaspheme God, but I did not. He gave me strength. Then, I started praying for my family and - I always pray for the salvation of everyone in my family - and I was asking St Padre Pio to pray for them too.

After a while I got this horrible temptation… to think that if I offered my soul to the devil (to go to hell) in place of another soul who is not currently in a state of grace, the devil would let that other soul go. I thought initially, this is ridiculous, firstly - the devil is a liar and if he makes a “deal” like this, there’s no guarantee it would work, secondly - Christ is the one who redeemed us! and thirdly - Jesus doesn’t want me to go to hell, and I don’t want to go to hell, especially because He died for me and I don’t want His death to be in vain for me! I did not feel like this thought - temptation - came from me at all. It was imposed upon me.

I rejected it with my reason/will, but began getting these feelings, like “this means I don’t love this person enough…” etc. It’s at this moment that I sort of wavered and almost considered this idea for a few moments. However my reason was telling me this is all wrong, so I rejected it again.

Then I began to pray and saw it as a dangerous temptation, because God would never exchange one soul for another (He died to save souls), and the devil would not keep any promise because he’s a liar… and most importantly, - Jesus wants us BOTH in Heaven!! I forced myself to completely reject the whole temptation and told Jesus that I don’t want anything from the enemy, even if it’s an answer to my prayer, rather I would ask God for His mercy and then both me and my family members would be saved. I then prayed to Mary too. Now it seems sort of evident to me that this wasn’t a good thought.

Here’s the problem… I’m afraid that during those moments when I wavered, that I accepted this idea… and sinned… and Im also afraid that it will actually come true. I know this is probably superstitious… I want to confess this and also tell Jesus that I accept His salvation, and pray for His mercy for myself and everyone I know. (It’s also proud to think that someone I know is not in a state of grace, I have no way of knowing this).

But I still have a bit of that fear/temptation, that I must not love that person enough, - and I don’t think this is the truth, because I do love them, but I love Jesus most of all and I don’t want to reject His death for me. And I don’t want anything to do with the devil, rather I want my prayers answered only by God and according to His will.

Please give me some advice on how I could overcome this… would you agree this was a temptation? I’m surprised how strong it was and how much I had to fight it. But would you agree that God wouldn’t ask someone for this? I know that He’s asked chosen souls (not me, I am not worthy) to be “victims” for others, but He meant earthly suffering. He wouldn’t ever ask anyone to give up their salvation would He?? If not, then surely the devil was trying to trick me 😦 what I want most is to go to Heaven, and what I want next is for my loved ones to also be saved - and maybe the enemy was using that good desire to tempt me.

thank you. SORRY this is so long. :o
Click to expand...
This was an interesting question-and post! God *is *pleased when we’re willing to give up our very selves for another-that is the greatest love and probably the greatest path in following Jesus. Our willingness can reveal our love. But like Abraham being willing to sacrifice his son, this doesn’t mean God would have us carry it out and actually lose your salvation. In any case you didn’t sin. How can we always know for sure where some of these things come from? Having said that, I had a very similar experience many years ago which ended in some awesome events taking place. You can PM me if you’d like. Either way, pray for discernment on it. God Bless.
 
Monica,

Remember these words:
"Come to me all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. "

Have faith in God’s Providence. Remember the word “Providence”, because its a special word.

Doubting is worthless in the light of God’s providence. He is all powerful - His writ will last forever and His majesty commands all that is seen and unseen. Your doubts are like drops of water in the ocean. God will carry them away.

Years ago, when I first read the Bible, I came across a passage in the Gospel where Jesus told of how all sins against the spirit would be forgiven, but the sin of Blasphemy against the spirit would not. It was a protestant Bible with no footnotes and as I went to sleep that night, a great fear over came me. I became obsessed with not blaspheming the spirit. Of course, ignorant as I was, I thought Blasphemy simply meant uttering a few ill-chosen words. Feeling already condemned I drifted away and became agnostic. Later when I rediscovered my faith, I read the true meaning of what Jesus was saying, and it came as a great relief. I learned the lesson of the blessings of Catholicism, which include more than scripture, but tradition, and most of all community and fellowship. You really need the latter.
In truth His burden is light, and you really have to willfully reject all that is good. If you remain in prayer and in love, you will not falter you.
Keep praying. Love God and Love your neighbor as your father in heaven asked you, and let Michael the Archangel, Mother Mary and our Lord Jesus deal with all the nasty things that abound.
 
Monica,

All those temptations are from the devil! God wills that ALL persons be saved. You are right that Satan is a liar. Do not listen to all the discouraging thoughts that come into your mind. Jesus wants you and all those your pray for in heaven with Him.

It sounds like you are undergoing spiritual warfare. Continue to call upon Jesus and His Blessed Mother when you are undergoing these battles. It is not selfish that you want to be saved. This is what God created us for - to know Him, love Him, and spend eternity with Him. He wouldn’t have bothered to come to earth as a man, suffer, and die for us if He didn’t want our redemption. His last words on the cross were concerning us - Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do! Jesus is infinite mercy and love! Have no fear! He wants you with Him forever!

Continue to pray. I will pray for you also.
Here is a scripture verse that I thought you might find helpful. Taken from 1 Timothy 2:2-4 -". . . that we may lead a quiet and tranquil life in all devotion and dignity. This is good and pleasing to God our savior, who wills everyone to be saved and to come to knowledge of the truth." My emphasis added.

I hope this helps give you some scriptural support for God’s plan for us.

houston1
 
Hi,
thank you for all the replies! 🙂

I have two opposite fears… one is that this actually worked, not because of the devil, but because I’m afraid that God allowed it… and I’ll actually go to hell.

The other fear (the opposite one) is that the family member I was praying for would not achieve salvation because I took back this thought and accepted Heaven for myself.

So either the devil is trying to trick me… or something else…

I was just wondering…do you think that:
  • God would or would not ever allow something like this? My belief is that He wants everyone to be saved… and that He doesn’t want to put anyone in hell.
  • I also believe that giving up your self, your life, everything you have, etc, for a person, - that is love… and since this action pleases God, He grants the person’s prayers and can convert souls from this sacrifice united with the Cross. However, sending a person to hell instead of another - I don’t believe that would please Him, because He would rather have both souls with Him. I think the right way to obtain conversion for others is to do acts of love that please God, not actions that make Him sad. (to put it simply)
  • I chose Jesus and Heaven MANY times after last night… do you think He accepted my decision to be with Him, or is it too late?
  • will my family member not be saved because of my selfishness, or was this not selfishness?
as you can probably tell I’m very confused on what to think. At this point, I have accepted Jesus and Heaven, and I’m trying to give everything I am to God (not to the devil!!!) and to pray for His mercy for the person’s conversion. I believe that sacrifices made to God can result in conversions… (if done with love). Not sacrifices to the devil, which accomplish nothing.
 
Alright I think I found a solution 🙂 maybe the right thing is offering yourself completely to God for a person’s salvation… this way, you’re still making a sacrifice, and demonstrating love and not selfishness, yet your offering is to God, not to the devil, it is safe, and He will take care of everything 🙂 I don’t want to make any offerings to the devil or deals with him, he’s a liar, and our enemy, and I don’t want to give my soul to him because my soul belongs to Jesus. I think loving God and giving yourself to Him, and then asking Him to help with another person’s spiritual growth, - that is more likely to be pleasing to God AND effective 🙂 I think choosing hell is almost like “blackmailing” God, making Him grieve, - is it not better to ask for a prayer intention after making Him happy with your choices 🙂 Also we need to love Him first, even above the people who are closest to us.

I think that the intention behind my thought (wanting to make a sacrifice to help another) is good, but the specific way to do this was misguided (and I even realized it then) - and for this reason I did not accept it even though I wavered for a few moments. Do you think that now, after having chosen Jesus (many times since last night), I am safe? and if I want to make a sacrifice to God (not to the devil, and not rejecting my salvation) - that this might help my family member much more than if I had acted on that other thought?? (for the reasons I stated above… that I’d much rather make God happy than sad with my choices… and that rejecting Him would never solve anything even if the intention is somewhat good)

Sorry I have so many questions… lol
 
I told God that if hell was not a rejection of Him, sin, and hatred, but simply pain, I would let Him send me there to help this person… but since I don’t want to reject Him, this is not possible, - I know the first Commandment is to love God, I want to love Him first above everything, and I won’t reject Him for any reason. So instead I just offered Him myself, and said that if it were possible to put me in Purgatory for a long time to help this person, then I’d do it - because Purgatory is incredibly painful too but people there love God greatly. But if that is not His plan and this is not necessary, then I want His will to be done. (to be honest I’m very much afraid of Purgatory but it’s nothing like hell because people still love God there). I am telling God, to look above all at His Mercy, and that His Sacrifice is already more than sufficient to save a thousands worlds, so surely He can save one more soul through it. If He wants anything from me, I am willing to do it, provided it’s actually His will and that I would still love Him and not ever reject Him. I am just thinking this way because I read that conversions require sacrifice on our part. But I know God’s mercy is already infinite and I need Him to save my family and me, by His Cross.

Does this even make sense? 😦 I feel so unable to do anything or contribute in any way. I am just asking for God to look first at His Mercy, because the Father would not refuse Jesus anything. Jesus’ sacrifice is worth an infinite amount of times more than anything I could give. But I’m willing to give what is in His will, provided of course that I would always continue to love Him, because I know He wants this too. (which is why I am rejecting the temptation to reject God and choose hell over Him).

My confusion right now still comes from the fact that I don’t know if these (new) thoughts are from God… the reason I feel unsure is because I don’t feel like any of these sacrifices on my part are good enough, - I am not like the Saints… my only hope is to simply ask Jesus to have mercy on us. I also feel unable and weak to carry out any sacrifice. In addition, I am afraid of having hidden pride… and really I don’t want to reject God, I want to be with Him, but I want soo much for my family to be saved to. This is really painful and I’m not sure what to think. 😦 I REALLY need to speak to my priest… (though I don’t know how all this will sound,probably very odd)

What I want most is to completely trust in Jesus’ Mercy… like St Faustina did… I want to trust in His Mercy for everything.
 
kildare said:
Monica,

Remember these words:
"Come to me all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. "

Have faith in God’s Providence. Remember the word “Providence”, because its a special word.

Doubting is worthless in the light of God’s providence. He is all powerful - His writ will last forever and His majesty commands all that is seen and unseen. Your doubts are like drops of water in the ocean. God will carry them away.

Years ago, when I first read the Bible, I came across a passage in the Gospel where Jesus told of how all sins against the spirit would be forgiven, but the sin of Blasphemy against the spirit would not. It was a protestant Bible with no footnotes and as I went to sleep that night, a great fear over came me. I became obsessed with not blaspheming the spirit. Of course, ignorant as I was, I thought Blasphemy simply meant uttering a few ill-chosen words. Feeling already condemned I drifted away and became agnostic. Later when I rediscovered my faith, I read the true meaning of what Jesus was saying, and it came as a great relief. I learned the lesson of the blessings of Catholicism, which include more than scripture, but tradition, and most of all community and fellowship. You really need the latter.
In truth His burden is light, and you really have to willfully reject all that is good. If you remain in prayer and in love, you will not falter you.
Keep praying. Love God and Love your neighbor as your father in heaven asked you, and let Michael the Archangel, Mother Mary and our Lord Jesus deal with all the nasty things that abound.
Click to expand...
Amen!

Excellent!
Really reassuring post kildare.
 
St. Michael the Archangel , defend us in battle; be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou,
O prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.
 
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