A decline in my prayers and work-ethic...spirtual exercise or prayer advice needed

[JoyIsLikeRain]

The past few months have been up-and-down for me.

My work was supposed to be progressing and I was going to work with a new team. My boss told me last-minute that she needs me, and she has to hold me back and I can’t join them.
I became a bit hurt inside, and my morale and work ethic went down. I was so tired of my daily duties and being mistreated by the people I currently have to work with. I was so looking forward to working with nicer and more respectful people. I keep telling myself to equate it to purgatory…and then I told myself today I need to look out for #1, yet I feel trapped.
My prayers about it feel insincere.

My GF is an emotional rollercoaster as of late. A year-in, she is now revealing herself more fully, and sadly, she has unstable family issues that debilitate her socially and emotionally.I’m sensing she’s come to use me now as more of a psychiatrist and surrogate father than a boyfriend. I feel like I haven’t picked up my feet in my relationship much lately because she constantly needs me, but after a recent “big cry” from her about issues in regards to her family and also me, it became apparent that she needs more than me. She needs professional counselling and support. She falls to pieces; crying, trembling and all, if I bring up my own personal concerns about our relationship. I feel as though I can’t leave her because it might be cruel, or even a sin; she’s so holy and prays for me frequently.
My prayers about it are few, and seemingly trite lately.

I’ve turned to my hobbies, cars, as a diversion. I have an old project car, an ancient moped, and a daily driver for bad weather. I’ve already felt “Catholic guilt” over the two cars. Yet, I’ve been possessed with the idea of trading the daily driver for something cheap, old, and in my mind, “cool.” I search the classified ads.
Then yesterday, it occurred to me that I’m using this as a diversion because I feel trapped and with the impending winter approaching, bored, depressed, and insignificant.
I’ve asked God if it’s his will if I should trade cars, but again, my prayers seem covetous of cars and not of Heaven.

If you respond, I beg you to not be curmudgeonly. That’s my situation, and I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut in helping ameliorate my prayers.

 

[Atheling2]

The past few months have been up-and-down for me.

My work was supposed to be progressing and I was going to work with a new team. My boss told me last-minute that she needs me, and she has to hold me back and I can’t join them.
I became a bit hurt inside, and my morale and work ethic went down. I was so tired of my daily duties and being mistreated by the people I currently have to work with. I was so looking forward to working with nicer and more respectful people. I keep telling myself to equate it to purgatory…and then I told myself today I need to look out for #1, yet I feel trapped.
My prayers about it feel insincere.

My GF is an emotional rollercoaster as of late. A year-in, she is now revealing herself more fully, and sadly, she has unstable family issues that debilitate her socially and emotionally.I’m sensing she’s come to use me now as more of a psychiatrist and surrogate father than a boyfriend. I feel like I haven’t picked up my feet in my relationship much lately because she constantly needs me, but after a recent “big cry” from her about issues in regards to her family and also me, it became apparent that she needs more than me. She needs professional counselling and support. She falls to pieces; crying, trembling and all, if I bring up my own personal concerns about our relationship. I feel as though I can’t leave her because it might be cruel, or even a sin; she’s so holy and prays for me frequently.
My prayers about it are few, and seemingly trite lately.

I’ve turned to my hobbies, cars, as a diversion. I have an old project car, an ancient moped, and a daily driver for bad weather. I’ve already felt “Catholic guilt” over the two cars. Yet, I’ve been possessed with the idea of trading the daily driver for something cheap, old, and in my mind, “cool.” I search the classified ads.
Then yesterday, it occurred to me that I’m using this as a diversion because I feel trapped and with the impending winter approaching, bored, depressed, and insignificant.
I’ve asked God if it’s his will if I should trade cars, but again, my prayers seem covetous of cars and not of Heaven.

If you respond, I beg you to not be curmudgeonly. That’s my situation, and I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut in helping ameliorate my prayers.

I hear you about work. I’m going through something similar where I’ve been promised help because I’m so overwhelmed and have to work mandatory overtime, i.e. 50 hours a week but it never comes through. I feel under appreciated and exploited. It’s very hard.

I can’t comment on the cars thing, as I don’t relate, but I will pray for you and please pray for me.

 

[Mary_Estelle]

Having a relationship with your “boss” and a continued relationship is really an accident that has already happened. It won’t get better. Find a new job, if possible. It is the best way to get out of this. You seem to be needy, too. I will pray for the both of you.

Look for a new job, but do not make it known until you have one and then do the proper thing and give your 2 weeks notice and stick to it. Peace.

 

[JoyIsLikeRain]

Having a relationship with your “boss” and a continued relationship is really an accident that has already happened. It won’t get better. Find a new job, if possible. It is the best way to get out of this. You seem to be needy, too. I will pray for the both of you.

Look for a new job, but do not make it known until you have one and then do the proper thing and give your 2 weeks notice and stick to it. Peace.

Just to clarify, my boss needs me for work. I hope you weren’t thinking something else.

Am I needy? I’m sure. Maybe you can be, too. My problem is that I go without needs and expectations, be stoic and bury everything inside until it comes forth.

 

[tawny]

Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength, fortitude & wisdom in your time of need.

 

[EnglishTeacher]

The past few months have been up-and-down for me.

My work was supposed to be progressing and I was going to work with a new team. My boss told me last-minute that she needs me, and she has to hold me back and I can’t join them.
I became a bit hurt inside, and my morale and work ethic went down. I was so tired of my daily duties and being mistreated by the people I currently have to work with. I was so looking forward to working with nicer and more respectful people. I keep telling myself to equate it to purgatory…and then I told myself today I need to look out for #1, yet I feel trapped.
My prayers about it feel insincere.

My GF is an emotional rollercoaster as of late. A year-in, she is now revealing herself more fully, and sadly, she has unstable family issues that debilitate her socially and emotionally.I’m sensing she’s come to use me now as more of a psychiatrist and surrogate father than a boyfriend. I feel like I haven’t picked up my feet in my relationship much lately because she constantly needs me, but after a recent “big cry” from her about issues in regards to her family and also me, it became apparent that she needs more than me. She needs professional counselling and support. She falls to pieces; crying, trembling and all, if I bring up my own personal concerns about our relationship. I feel as though I can’t leave her because it might be cruel, or even a sin; she’s so holy and prays for me frequently.
My prayers about it are few, and seemingly trite lately.

I’ve turned to my hobbies, cars, as a diversion. I have an old project car, an ancient moped, and a daily driver for bad weather. I’ve already felt “Catholic guilt” over the two cars. Yet, I’ve been possessed with the idea of trading the daily driver for something cheap, old, and in my mind, “cool.” I search the classified ads.
Then yesterday, it occurred to me that I’m using this as a diversion because I feel trapped and with the impending winter approaching, bored, depressed, and insignificant.
I’ve asked God if it’s his will if I should trade cars, but again, my prayers seem covetous of cars and not of Heaven.

If you respond, I beg you to not be curmudgeonly. That’s my situation, and I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut in helping ameliorate my prayers.

 

[EnglishTeacher]

I remember your other posts about your girlfriend. The general consensus in those threads was that, judging from your posts, the two of you probably were not right for each other and that she was not ready to be a serious relationship. If you concluded otherwise, that is fine and great; but from what you say, it sounds as though, many months later, you are still conflicted about her and about the relationship but can’t discern clearly what to do at this point because of the emotional turmoil that voicing any doubt seems to cause her. Is that assessment correct?

I am not sure what to say about that topic anymore except to ask - have you brought up the idea of professional counseling to her? What is her reaction to it? Also, when you were considering ending the relationship several months ago, what made you stay in it after all? Forgive me if I am wrong, but it sounds as though you still want out but are staying in it because you don’t want to hurt her.

Prayers for you; it sounds like you are in kind of a tough place and are feeling down right now. I hope things get better for you soon.

 

[Vic_Taltrees_UK]

Re cars, my friend cut his losses with one of his projects and just worked on one. At best it might be a good space in your life where you can pray while you do some work, within a modest budget.

As for the GF she sounds like a rare treasure, praying a lot. Our friends turn out to be as broken as ourselves - caring for her by simply being with her as you both throw yourselves on God for your needs will be a privilege open to you now.

As you balance God and this precious lady I hope you will be freed up inside, to give ordinary but sterling service in the job, gloomy as it seems in some ways.

 

[GLam8833]

I pray that you will “SEE” God’s Hand
in ALL OF THIS and get on solid ground
spiritually, seriously, this is just the devil
working overtime in your life/lives!!!

 

[3DOCTORS]

I remember your other posts about your girlfriend. The general consensus in those threads was that, judging from your posts, the two of you probably were not right for each other and that she was not ready to be a serious relationship. If you concluded otherwise, that is fine and great; but from what you say, it sounds as though, many months later, you are still conflicted about her and about the relationship but can’t discern clearly what to do at this point because of the emotional turmoil that voicing any doubt seems to cause her. Is that assessment correct?

I am not sure what to say about that topic anymore except to ask - have you brought up the idea of professional counseling to her? What is her reaction to it? Also, when you were considering ending the relationship several months ago, what made you stay in it after all? Forgive me if I am wrong, but it sounds as though you still want out but are staying in it because you don’t want to hurt her.

Prayers for you; it sounds like you are in kind of a tough place and are feeling down right now. I hope things get better for you soon.

I didn’t follow all the threads referred to but I have to tell you that almost 30 years ago I was that kind of girlfriend. My then-boyfriend needed not to keep stringing me along with ambivalence because he wasn’t man enough to detach from the guilt and my pleading when the question of breaking up would arise, which it did from time to time. So we kept going with the relationship basically on life support. I finally did pull the plug myself when he came out and said he never wanted kids. I then confronted him with the entire question of how long we had been dating without advancing to engagement or marriage and what did he want to do about it.

So we had a long, painful discussion, and we broke up. I didn’t handle it well at the time; I did some things I regret deeply. Now, I no longer “carry the torch” for him. Far from it - my eyes are open, time has passed, and I’m thankful that we didn’t marry. It would’ve been all wrong, and then we’d have probably divorced.

The point is, I wasn’t mature enough to accept early on that he was the wrong one for me even when the signs were all there. And he was being namby pamby about it too because of my emotionality and his guilt and his desire to keep me on a string as a friend but he allowed me to keep on with the fantasy that we’d eventually reach a commitment. I settled for the crumbs he tossed instead of facing reality and dealing with it, and freeing myself up to find a man more suitable for me.

So please, man up and tell her if you aren’t sure about things. Don’t make it too complicated or analytical; don’t drag it out. Be kind but firm. There are options such as taking a time out - but dithering in indecision forever isn’t healthy for either of you. Sometimes a time out might just give false hope as well. I think I could’ve gotten over the breakup so much easier if it had happened about 18 months before it did - sure, it would’ve been painful! Breakups are! But I wouldn’t have had so much time, energy, and false hope invested in it. I would have eventually healed and perhaps not had to go down a self-destructive path for awhile out of anger or spite or whatever bee got in my bonnet at the time.

It’s great that she prays for you but you don’t have to be in a relationship to pray for one another. Pray for God’s will to be done, and be courageous.

 

[JoyIsLikeRain]

I remember your other posts about your girlfriend. The general consensus in those threads was that, judging from your posts, the two of you probably were not right for each other and that she was not ready to be a serious relationship. If you concluded otherwise, that is fine and great; but from what you say, it sounds as though, many months later, you are still conflicted about her and about the relationship but can’t discern clearly what to do at this point because of the emotional turmoil that voicing any doubt seems to cause her. Is that assessment correct?

I am not sure what to say about that topic anymore except to ask - have you brought up the idea of professional counseling to her? What is her reaction to it? Also, when you were considering ending the relationship several months ago, what made you stay in it after all? Forgive me if I am wrong, but it sounds as though you still want out but are staying in it because you don’t want to hurt her.

Prayers for you; it sounds like you are in kind of a tough place and are feeling down right now. I hope things get better for you soon.

Yes, things smoothed-out between us. She began to blossom, we had fun…and then…now.

I brought up counselling two times for her. She’s mistrustful of most things that aren’t Catholic, and I said our local Catholic Charities even offers counselling. She has gone to a priest who knows her family, and I think he sides with them and makes her feel worse. She works for a major hospital; I mentioned “you probably have free access to a good family counsellor.” She said “I’d only go if something really bad happens.”

I said “You shouldn’t wait until something awful and scarring occurs. Counselling is there to give you tools to re-frame a situation. Do you think it’s ‘weak’ if a person goes?” To which she responded, “yes.”