A different issue - was: Please HELP: I'm a virgin and he's not

[Krasnaya_Kometa]

I would post this in the other thread but I’ve found that, at least in my case, if I jump onto a large thread after so many posts, I tend to be completely ignored. I’m not faulting anyone, it’s just the way things are.

I’m not currently faced with this issue, but I think what I would have the most problem with is that I just can’t imagine that the act of consummating our marriage would be as special without that uncertainty aspect. My newlywed wife wouldn’t be nervous about that night, and it wouldn’t be as big of a deal to her because she’ll already know what it’s like. I don’t know what I’d do in this case.

 

[LovedOne]

Krasnaya Kometa:

I would post this in the other thread but I’ve found that, at least in my case, if I jump onto a large thread after so many posts, I tend to be completely ignored. I’m not faulting anyone, it’s just the way things are.

I’m not currently faced with this issue, but I think what I would have the most problem with is that I just can’t imagine that the act of consummating our marriage would be as special without that uncertainty aspect. My newlywed wife wouldn’t be nervous about that night, and it wouldn’t be as big of a deal to her because she’ll already know what it’s like. I don’t know what I’d do in this case.

There are so many reasons why God, in His infinite wisdom, designed sexual intercourse for MARRIAGE only.
We humans, with our prideful nature thinking we know it all, ignore God’s commandments (that are only there to keep us from hurt and pain - NOT to rob us of joy as satan would like us to believe and tried to convince Eve of!).
Then, only later when we’ve committed those sexual sins do we realize the ramifications of them. Not only to ourselves - but as sin always does - the affects on others.

It is not possible to undo virginity. It IS however possible, to put the past behind you and move ahead with a new forgiven spirit and attitude. God is merciful and full of kindness and he WILL bless us in these difficult situations.
I know he has for me.

 

[jman507]

What it is like is really not so important. If you think of this person as someone you’d like to have a child together with the meaningfulness of it will be far more important than how well it was exucted.

Hopefully if you are getting married, this will have been belt with.

 

[Myangel]

LovedOne:

There are so many reasons why God, in His infinite wisdom, designed sexual intercourse for MARRIAGE only.
We humans, with our prideful nature thinking we know it all, ignore God’s commandments (that are only there to keep us from hurt and pain - NOT to rob us of joy as satan would like us to believe and tried to convince Eve of!).
Then, only later when we’ve committed those sexual sins do we realize the ramifications of them. Not only to ourselves - but as sin always does - the affects on others.

It is not possible to undo virginity. It IS however possible, to put the past behind you and move ahead with a new forgiven spirit and attitude. God is merciful and full of kindness and he WILL bless us in these difficult situations.
I know he has for me.

Perfectly put!

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

Krasnaya Kometa:

My newlywed wife wouldn’t be nervous about that night, and it wouldn’t be as big of a deal to her because she’ll already know what it’s like. I don’t know what I’d do in this case.

First of all, she may be even more nervous about that night. If she has sinned in the past and then truly repented, I think she would feel horrible that she did not have that special gift to give to you. I think she would be very nervous about you not thinking she was “pure” enough for you.

Secondly, a wedding night is a very big deal to a person, virgin or not. If the person truly understands what marriage is all about, they know that will be the first time they ever truly make love. It will be the first time they will be using their God-given sexuality in the way it was intended.

I hope that your future spouse can meet all of your standards, but you must also be willing to meet all of hers. If you can accept that she may have stumbled, she will accept that in you too.

Malia

 

[Krasnaya_Kometa]

Myangel:

Perfectly put!

Thank you for your replies, everyone. I feel a bit better now.

I just wish we didn’t live in a world where this kind of thing was something I had to worry about. All this “it’s not like we’re hurting anyone” is complete nonsense because it’s almost devistating to me.

 

[dafalax]

Yeah, my husband and i unfortunately did not save ourselves for each other or for our wedding night. However, our wedding night was still wonderful because it was such a huge step in our relationship. It was like a new beginning. Despite the fact that we needed to grow in our faith to really appreciate the gift of self-giving and the marital embrace, the commitment of marriage and our openness to life gave God the crack in our armor to bring us closer to Him and to each other. God can truly heal all wounds.