T
Tartini
Guest
For over a year and a half, I have been attending a local parish. I live in a low-income neighborhood (there are very few Catholics and this is the only church available) and am unable to drive, and it is a short walk to the Church. This parish has been around for 100 years, and the congregation is very small today. This parish has now sold their church facilities and is sharing it with a protestant congregation (they bought the property). I am not comfortable there as I was before they sold the church, and I sometimes feel that I am being too harsh with this attitude with myself. When I attend Mass, either on weekdays or Sundays, I am disturbed that the entire set up of the church has to be re-arranged in order to have Mass. The Holy Alter, Eucharist, Crucifix and statuary are removed for the protestant services. I make it a habit to arrive early to Mass, when I can, in order to offer prayer and prepare myself for Mass properly. In any other parish I have been part of, the rule of silence applied. At the parish I am now attending I feel I am at a theatre where the hands are setting the stage. During this, the congregation is abuzz with lively conversation, talking on cell phones, children cavort about the aisles and I have seen the priest, more than once, without his collar on, or hanging from his neck….I hope I am not seeming too conservative for some readers in my view, although I do demand a bit of respectful decorum when it comes to such matters. The parish is obviously more liberal than my tastes prefer. I can see the necessity of some of the points I mentioned, but am disturbed at some of the others. I’ve only known that the movement of our holy objects is acceptable when, in the event of a disaster, or military situation, etc., that all denominations usually share a common ground. I am a traditional catholic by practice, but sometimes it is not possible to get to the few traditional masses one can attend here. The idea of large crowds is a problem with me (hence my disability), and I would have to take several busses (which are occupied by people) to get there. I do realize it would be a holy sacrifice to do so, but have been constantly advised not to by my physicians. The fear I may have an attack, and be in the wrong place when it happens. The attacks are unpredictable. The extreme social anxiety I suffer from is usually handled during Mass (if the congregation is large) by sitting as close as possible, sitting at the edge of the pew, nearest the back of the church, close to the door. I have been lucky so far, that I have had no major attacks, although I am usually very nervous. Some medication helps this, but not that well.
One might ask why don’t you find someone who will take you to another parish? There is no one who can at this time (I live alone and I feel I should not burden my family, since they would have to assist me many times a week, and already do so much for me now) and I have attempted to find out if they (some other parishes) will pick me up via church bus, but some of my inquiries tend to go unanswered. I have been informed that I must be a member of that particular parish and live in that parish, as well. The music director has avoided me on many occasions (I am a professional level violinist) and not one person has even so much as welcomed me to the parish, even after a year of attendance. I know they see me, but I feel rather invisible. That really does not matter to me, as I am there for Jesus, not them. Playing music for the Lord is my greatest desire, and I would really like to find a parish that I could do this in. My disability has often proved to really be a blessing in light that I can devote more time in composing musical works for the Glory of God.
As for now, I will have to be content with what I have available. The parish will be moving to a very elaborate facility (they are hoping) after Easter. They have not even begun work on the facility yet, the present congregation is less than 40 souls, and they seem more concerned with selling the real estate (rather fine houses) that will be surrounding the new church than anything else. It’s all I hear about.
Has anyone else had this kind of experience?
One might ask why don’t you find someone who will take you to another parish? There is no one who can at this time (I live alone and I feel I should not burden my family, since they would have to assist me many times a week, and already do so much for me now) and I have attempted to find out if they (some other parishes) will pick me up via church bus, but some of my inquiries tend to go unanswered. I have been informed that I must be a member of that particular parish and live in that parish, as well. The music director has avoided me on many occasions (I am a professional level violinist) and not one person has even so much as welcomed me to the parish, even after a year of attendance. I know they see me, but I feel rather invisible. That really does not matter to me, as I am there for Jesus, not them. Playing music for the Lord is my greatest desire, and I would really like to find a parish that I could do this in. My disability has often proved to really be a blessing in light that I can devote more time in composing musical works for the Glory of God.
As for now, I will have to be content with what I have available. The parish will be moving to a very elaborate facility (they are hoping) after Easter. They have not even begun work on the facility yet, the present congregation is less than 40 souls, and they seem more concerned with selling the real estate (rather fine houses) that will be surrounding the new church than anything else. It’s all I hear about.
Has anyone else had this kind of experience?
