A drunk man smoking asked me for money for food and I did not give him any; wrong thing or proper judgement?

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Well, if the guy has money for booze and fags then he’s more than capable of buying his own food.

If you were really touched by how lowly he was looking, buy him a sandwich, dont’ give him cash.
 
nannygirl said:
Our bum actually “puts in his order” if you offer to buy him food. He’s very specific - “KFC and don’t forget to get me corn on the cob!” LOL! One of our people fell for it once - spent $30, so naturally he looked for her on Sunday. She says she learned her lesson.
🙂
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Hey, at least he knows how to work the system…:rolleyes: Seems like he could use those skills in some kind of job.hmmmmm! 🤷

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OP I think you’re fine with your choice.

Being from New Orleans, I’m used to professional beggers, and am perhaps a little jaded.

I live in Texas now, and now only occasionly get hit up in the gas station parking lot. I get tired of the same old story. “We’re heading from such and such town to such and such town. We’re out of gas will you give us some gas money?” It’s allways the same thing, just change the destination and the emegancy reason.

A couple weeks ago me and the wife are heading into a resturant that happens to be in a gas station. We get hit up by a fellow in the parking lot. “Trying to make it to his mothers funeral. Coming from Mississippi. Just gotta make it to this side of Dallas. Broke and out of gas. Family is stuck back watching the car”

Yeah Right. Heard this one before.

For some damn reason I whip out thirty dollars and hand it to him:eek:

My wife is all over me as he walks off down the road. “WHAT was that?” I got no good response. Heck even I felt stupid doing it. I just felt the need to give him the money.

We’re sitting by the window about twenty minutes later eating. Well I’m eating, my wife is nagging at me about how that guy is probably off buying drugs… when him and two kids come pushing an old beater up to the gas pumps with what I assume is the wife at the wheel, and Mississippi plates. Thirty bucks in hand he goes in, pays, fills up and heads off down the road never seeing us, hits the on ramp for I-20 and heads toward Dallas.👍

Moral of the story? I don’t know that there is one. But, follow your gut. Listen to that voice in your head. It might be your common sense telling you to hold on to hard earned money, or it could be the Spirit telling you to help out one of His.😉
 
I wonder if the government has such discerning criteria for handouts.:o:o
 
The way I figure it, if you feel moved to give something, do it. It is not your responsibility how the person will use the money. That is between him/her and God.

On the other hand, I wouldn’t allow myself to be pressurred or guilted into giving something. Your charitable giving, whether to an organization or to an individual, should be done as a matter of gratuitousness, not as a response to a guilt trip.
 
I worked at a homeless shelter for 9 years. There were people who were genuinely in need, and glad to have the help.

Unfortunately, there were also the “frequent flyers” who knew how to use the system. Since I was also working at the local county jail, I came to see the same people over and over. They were either in jail or at the homeless shelter. “Three hots and a cot.”

Once I was bringing some donations to the Salvation Army. One was a TV set, in good working order. A man outside in the parking lot told me how he could use it, he was a Vietnam vet, etc. etc. I fell for it and gave it to him, in sight of the Salvation Army workers. They told me I’d been had.

My way now of helping the homeless is donating to the shelter, Salvation Army, etc.
 
yoopersenior said:
Once I was bringing some donations to the Salvation Army. One was a TV set, in good working order. A man outside in the parking lot told me how he could use it, he was a Vietnam vet, etc. etc. I fell for it and gave it to him, in sight of the Salvation Army workers. They told me I’d been had.

My way now of helping the homeless is donating to the shelter, Salvation Army, etc.
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There are so many con artists, as you know, that it makes it difficult for the people who really need help. I only give money to the shelters, Catholic Charities, etc., too.
 
Setting aside the genuinely mentally ill, an awful lot of bums on the street are the authors of their own misery. And yet there are also those who are genuinely needy. Who knows what may depend on that dollar bill?

When I am in trouble, I scream and cry to God for help, and beg Him to overlook the fact that nine times out of ten, I am the author of my own misery. So I have to ask myself: in the absence of glaring evidence one way or the other, should I be slow or quick to chalk a beggar up as a fraud?

When I am stopped at a light or an intersection, and there’s one of those cardboard sign guys there, I give him a buck wrapped around a Sacred Heart badge.
 
Gift_from_God said:
On Friday I was walking back to school from a book store when this guy who was clearly drunk and was smoking asked me for money, saying that he had not eaten for a couple of days. I did not give him any money, believing he was going to buy smokes and booze with it because let’s face it, he was already drunk and the price of a pack of cigarettes and beer can probably buy a meal from a fast food place. Was I in the wrong to do this or was my judgment proper?
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if you had given money, the homeless person bought booze and cigarettes. most of that money would be going back to the government in taxes,
 
I’m a notorious giver to beggars on the street. My friends always look at me as if I’m insane; I don’t think I am.
  1. As has been said, my intention in the matter is clear; if they are lying to me about theirs, that is their own problem with God. No more is the priest culpable for facilitating unknowingly the sacreligious communion of a person in mortal sin who presents himself at the altar rail.
  2. There is no good means to discern liars from those who tell the truth at sight in this matter. Is it better to avoid being duped and to suffer a needy person, who has asked for your help, to go away empty, or to give generously to all who ask for your help, and, consequently, to as many of those as are in real need?
  3. Not that I am without guilt-inducing means. I insist on being as forthrightly generous as possible, and usually insist on conversing with them at length. If I were to give them cash and run, they might snicker and say, “sucker”.
If I treat them humanly, with genuine kindness, and not out of apparent ‘rich man’s guilt’ or the other ways they sucker 'em in, they might have, I hope, a twinge of guilt for abusing selfishly genuine kindness, in a way that they do not regret working the system.

If they really needed the help, on the other hand, treating them with this same dignity as induces guilt in the fraud is an added kindness that they will appreciate; for if you are really in need and begging, you probably can’t feel any lower.
 
HumbledCatholic said:
I’m a notorious giver to beggars on the street. My friends always look at me as if I’m insane; I don’t think I am.
  1. As has been said, my intention in the matter is clear; if they are lying to me about theirs, that is their own problem with God. No more is the priest culpable for facilitating unknowingly the sacreligious communion of a person in mortal sin who presents himself at the altar rail.
  2. There is no good means to discern liars from those who tell the truth at sight in this matter. Is it better to avoid being duped and to suffer a needy person, who has asked for your help, to go away empty, or to give generously to all who ask for your help, and, consequently, to as many of those as are in real need?
  3. Not that I am without guilt-inducing means. I insist on being as forthrightly generous as possible, and usually insist on conversing with them at length. If I were to give them cash and run, they might snicker and say, “sucker”.
If I treat them humanly, with genuine kindness, and not out of apparent ‘rich man’s guilt’ or the other ways they sucker 'em in, they might have, I hope, a twinge of guilt for abusing selfishly genuine kindness, in a way that they do not regret working the system.

If they really needed the help, on the other hand, treating them with this same dignity as induces guilt in the fraud is an added kindness that they will appreciate; for if you are really in need and begging, you probably can’t feel any lower.
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I fully share your attitude. I would also add, there is an element of faith that I hold which is:

**"For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.’

Then the righteous will answer him and say, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?’

And the King will say to them in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’ **

And, because of it, I dare not take the risk of failing to recognise Jesus.
 
Gift_from_God said:
On Friday I was walking back to school from a book store when this guy who was clearly drunk and was smoking asked me for money, saying that he had not eaten for a couple of days. I did not give him any money, believing he was going to buy smokes and booze with it because let’s face it, he was already drunk and the price of a pack of cigarettes and beer can probably buy a meal from a fast food place. Was I in the wrong to do this or was my judgment proper?
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I would call it tough love. If you give him money, even if you didn’t mean to support his drinking, you most likely did.
 
I would be inclined to give money and move on. I would challenge myself in the future, however, to give not only my money but my time and attention as well.

I don’t feel particularly good about giving someone money so that they can go out again and get drunk or high. But, I would hate to see them go hungry. So, what I propose to myself is to offer to take the person for a meal, sit there and visit with them trying to appreciate them as a person of God.

Sometimes I think there must be a hunger of lonliness that, often, we are reluctant to fill (especially me).

Just thinking out loud…
 
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