Permit me to tell you a story I know to be true.
In Vietnam, a young soldier returned from a mission. During his mission he was involved in some serious combat, several of his company were killed or wounded, and everyone was exhaused. Returning to base, he headed for the cool quiet inside of the chapel. Sitting in one of the pews, he was quiet for a couple of moments then slumped to his side and fell asleep in the pew. His uniform drenched in sweat and blood, his boots caked with mud, clutching his rifle, he lay there sleeping. A few moments later, the Catholic chaplain and a full bird colonel walked down the aisle. Seeing the sleeping soldier, the colonel immediately became indignant and told the chaplain that he would have the soldier removed and brought up on charges. The chaplain simply grabbed the colonel’s sleeve, looked at the sleeping soldier, and said, “Leave him alone sir, he looks comfortable in his father’s house.”
ZuZu, your post doesn’t say that you are “fallen” catholic to whom it refers. And it doesn’t say your age. So, I make an assumption. Remember, we’re all fallen, and most of us, in our youth, probably strayed in varying degrees from the ideals of our youth.
If I were you, assuming you are serious about coming back to the Catholic faith, I’d find a church where you are comfortable, go in one day when no one is around and you have the place to yourself, and walk up to the altar, or wherever the sanctuary lamp burns close to the tabernacle in which resides the living presence of your Lord, your Savior, and your best friend, and with a big smile on your face, say, “I’m baaack”
Then find a priest with whom you feel comfortable, and preferably one who is faithful to the teachings of the church, and sit down and have a good long talk.
Then take the advise of the other posters here and find whatever makes you feel comfortable, happy, and helps you grow in the understanding and appreciation of what you have come home to.
My two cents
Shalom