A few questions about Confesson

[francesco920]

1. Exactly how specific does the penitant have to be when confessing his sins? For example, if he told a lie to get out of school or work, would he have to say that or could he just say “I told a serious lie(s) X time(s).”? Another example, if he used hardcore pornography in one instance but softcore in another, would he have to say that he used hardcore pornography X times and softcore pornography X times or could he just say he used pornography X times?
2. What if the penitant remembers a sin from the past that he had forgotten (and therefore had not confessed it in the confession(s) he went to since he had committed the sin) but is pretty sure it is not mortal, and doesn’t confess it in the next confession but then after that confession begins to doubt if it really was venial, and then puts aside the doubts as scrupulosity and doesn’t confess it in the next confession(s)? What if the sin was mortal afer all? Would al the confessions and communions after he had remembered the sin be sacrileges? And if he is not sure they were sacrileges, should he confess them as sacrileges or possible sacrileges? Or should he do neither?

Sorry if the questions are really confusing…but I’m a little confused/frustrated right now so please pardon me.

 

[MSJoan]

Seems to me you could say ‘I’ve lied x times’, or ‘I’ve lied to get out of ____ x times’; of course the latter then may suggest a list of other reasons for this specific sin. It helps if you know the reason you committed the sin, was it pride, laziness, anger/hatred…was the lie to cover-up another sin? To the extent possible, in your examination of conscience, look at the reason. For me, if I know the underlying sin, I also bring that to confession because the better I am at looking at the whole picture, the better I am at avoiding it in the future. But, if there are tons of reasons why you lied, I don’t know that I would list each specifically

If you omitted a sin in a previous confession - intentional or not - bring it to confession also. And if you’re not sure, ask the priest about it. If you suspect this asking/discussion may take a bit of time, you could also ask him if it’s something you should meet with him about at a different time.

Be not afriad.

 

[puzzleannie]

confess sins in kind and number, be brief, be honest, be gone.
I lied 6 times, I viewed or read porn 8 times, I murdered 6 people, I stole one car and several small items from a 7-11, and I disobeyed my mother once. For these and all the sins of my past life I am heartily sorry.

If the priest needs the backstory he will ask.

 

[Alma]

1. Exactly how specific does the penitant have to be when confessing his sins? For example, if he told a lie to get out of school or work, would he have to say that or could he just say “I told a serious lie(s) X time(s).”?

It is better to specify, because, for example, it is not the same to lie in order to do some harm than to escape some harm. The penitent should give tools to the priest so he can give the penitent better advice so he can overcome what makes him tell lies.

Another example, if he used hardcore pornography in one instance but softcore in another, would he have to say that he used hardcore pornography X times and softcore pornography X times or could he just say he used pornography X times?

I guess it is the same here. If there are two kind of sins, then the penitant should be specific and confess them both. Again the priest may be more able to advice him if he knows exactly what the penitent is into.

1. What if the penitant remembers a sin from the past that he had forgotten (and therefore had not confessed it in the confession(s) he went to since he had committed the sin) but is pretty sure it is not mortal, and doesn’t confess it in the next confession

If he is sure it is not mortal but venial, he may be forgiven with perfect contrition, that is, of because of his love to God, he trully regrets having comitted it and firmly intends never to commit it again.

but then after that confession begins to doubt if it really was venial, and then puts aside the doubts as scrupulosity and doesn’t confess it in the next confession(s)?

St Ignatius said: you should do two things when your are in temptation: do the opposite it suggests and reveal it, denounce it. The devil leads us into secrecy, he convinces us of not telling something, of not going to Confession. So do the opposite: confess, put that thing out in the open and move on.
If the penitent does this, he will surely feel lighter and much better afterwards.

What if the sin was mortal afer all?

To commit a mortal sin three conditions are required:

1. total awareness that it is a mortal sin
2. that the person consciously agrees to commit it
3. and that it is indeed considered by the Church a mortal sin

If the penitent doubts whether a sin is mortal or not, he lacks the first condition, therefore, he did not commit a mortal sin.

Would al the confessions and communions after he had remembered the sin be sacrileges? And if he is not sure they were sacrileges, should he confess them as sacrileges or possible sacrileges? Or should he do neither?

I would suggest that in his next Confession he mentions this, that he was not willing to confess a certain sin he thought was mortal and that he had Communion after that. Let the priest comment on this, advice himm and forgive whatever needs to be forgiven.

Sorry if the questions are really confusing…but I’m a little confused/frustrated right now so please pardon me.

Hope this helped clear things a little

Alma

 

[francesco920]

Thank you all who have posted in reply!

I have been thinking about this a lot. I have a few more questions to ask. What if I can’t remember if I was holding a sin back intentionally? I don’t think I was because I confessed many other sins that were much more embarrassing to say. I think I didn’t confess it because I thought it was venial and I’m not saying I no longer think it’s venial I’m just saying I am not sure. And what if I discerned something to be venial when it really was mortal and I didn’t confess it? What if I receive communion thinking that the sins I have committed for the past week are venial but then later when I think about it I am not sure they were venial?

I just started going to confession earlier this year and for a while I did not have these questions but then I started wondering and now I am worried because I am not quite sure what to say in my next confession anymore. I try to do my best to be honest but now I am just so worried and frustrated because I keep on thinking what if one of my confessions was invalid? Then all the following confessions/communions were invalid even though I thought I was being honest and doing the right thing and growing spiritually. And then I think what if I can’t remember which ones were invalid if that is the case?

I wish I had been going to the same priest each time for my confessions but this is not possible because I don’t always have access to the same church or priest. When I am at my dad’s house I walk to the nearby church (about 1/2 mile away) for confession and when I am I my mom’s house (which is most of the time) I ride my bike to the nearby church for confession (about 3 miles away.) I thank God for being so fortunate to have Catholic churches so close to both my parents’ houses but I have no way of knowing which priest is going to be hearing confessions and up to this point I haven’t really cared because I just want to confess.

So to sum it up I want to go to confession again as soon as possible but I need to get these issues worked out first or else I think I will only have more problems.

 

[Joan_M]

Francesco,

You are beginning to sound scrupulous. Don’t go there!

If you’re not sure if a sin is venial or mortal - confess it anyway. You have received some good advice from the posters. Keep to the simpler advice, though, if you are scrupulous. In fact, if you are scrupulous (as you appear to be), don’t ask these questions here because replies may confuse you even more. Find a good priest and go to confession to him all the time. He will guide you. Be obedient to him.

 

[peary]

Did any of you see the examination of conscience website?

catholicparents.org/oxcart/Examination%20of%20Conscience.pdf