M
marimagi
Guest
My daughter has become involved with drugs once again. She is in a program, but not really committed to radically changing her life. Her husband now lives in another state, and struggles with the same issues.
In the past year, my husband and I have given our all to helping my daughter (from a previous marriage) and providing all the childcare needed for our granddaughter. This summer, we have had her full time, as my daughter is in no position to provide adequate care (but won’t give us guardianship.)
My daughter resents that I have pulled away from her emotionally. But truth be told, I am aware of the fact that she lies to me and my husband regularly. She borrows a car we own, which is supposed to be used solely for work, treatment, and errands such as grocery shopping. Unbeknownst to her, we installed a GPS. She regularly goes wherever she pleases. We know that she does not work the hours she claims to work. We know that she associates with active drug users, and that she continues her involvement with a boyfriend. We only confront her with lies which don’t reveal the fact that she is on a tracking system, because when she has our granddaughter, we want to have the ability to know where she is. This is all crazy. I know. But presently, my sole concern is for my granddaughter. She will be turning 6 years old next week, and still has some innocence left
My daughter insists that I should be congratulating her on her progress and sobriety. I know that she is only pretending to follow the rules of her program. But she has done a good job at convincing her program directer that she is doing well, but has an unsupportive family.
Right now, my primary concern is for my granddaughter’s safety and wellbeing. My attention is focused on getting her ready for 1st grade, rearranging my schedule accordingly, giving her some memorable summer experiences, and dealing with the emotional fallout she experiences after visits with mom.
How can this be, and how do I continue to handle it? My daughter does nothing but lie about what she does and how her “recovery” is progressing. She no longer feels like a daughter to me. As a result of her mother’s choices, my granddaughter is the one who needs my attention. Is it wrong that concerns and attention have focused away from my daughter and onto my granddaughter’s needs? It feels horrible, and has negatively impacted my prayer life. .
In the past year, my husband and I have given our all to helping my daughter (from a previous marriage) and providing all the childcare needed for our granddaughter. This summer, we have had her full time, as my daughter is in no position to provide adequate care (but won’t give us guardianship.)
My daughter resents that I have pulled away from her emotionally. But truth be told, I am aware of the fact that she lies to me and my husband regularly. She borrows a car we own, which is supposed to be used solely for work, treatment, and errands such as grocery shopping. Unbeknownst to her, we installed a GPS. She regularly goes wherever she pleases. We know that she does not work the hours she claims to work. We know that she associates with active drug users, and that she continues her involvement with a boyfriend. We only confront her with lies which don’t reveal the fact that she is on a tracking system, because when she has our granddaughter, we want to have the ability to know where she is. This is all crazy. I know. But presently, my sole concern is for my granddaughter. She will be turning 6 years old next week, and still has some innocence left
My daughter insists that I should be congratulating her on her progress and sobriety. I know that she is only pretending to follow the rules of her program. But she has done a good job at convincing her program directer that she is doing well, but has an unsupportive family.
Right now, my primary concern is for my granddaughter’s safety and wellbeing. My attention is focused on getting her ready for 1st grade, rearranging my schedule accordingly, giving her some memorable summer experiences, and dealing with the emotional fallout she experiences after visits with mom.
How can this be, and how do I continue to handle it? My daughter does nothing but lie about what she does and how her “recovery” is progressing. She no longer feels like a daughter to me. As a result of her mother’s choices, my granddaughter is the one who needs my attention. Is it wrong that concerns and attention have focused away from my daughter and onto my granddaughter’s needs? It feels horrible, and has negatively impacted my prayer life. .