A Guide to the Restoration of Marriage

[pianistclare]

The Catholic Church allows for divorce. Period.
Divorced people who are single are permitted Sacraments.
Maybe read the Catechism.

I do have quite a few ideas of what you think. You’ve posted your thoughts quite liberally here.

You don’t know me. I am a victim of an abusive man who shot himself at home after threatening to kill me and our 2 young daughters. I wish I had divorced him. The Church said it was fine. Problem was, we were trapped. Literally.
Your “shotgun” remark was unfortunately, a perfect example of “laserlike accuracy”.
Thanks.
But he kept saying things like "you’ll have to pay ME support, I’ll get the house to myself, I’ll get custody of the children…why? Because he labeled me every name in the book. He felt determined to right wrongs heaped upon men like himself. He was a devotee of those websites when men go and complain after women.
All of his perceptions were predicated on these notions in his head, btw.
He was also chronically unemployed, verbally and physically abusive, drunk, you name it.
Do I think all men are like this? Nope. I remarried a wonderful man, who btw, finds many of these posts really insulting to women and the men who love them and feel like their wives do plenty of good in the marriages.

You want to be right? OK, You’re right.
You want people to stop? I’ll stop. Happy to. REALLY happy to.
I’m out.

Black balling all women. Wow what a sweeping generalization you are projecting into my head. You have no idea what I think.

I’m not labeling All women, I’m pointing out a flawed logic that many women hold near and dear, why? Well, you are doing it right here. You are claiming “victim status”. That position has great power, especially over men. Just stop…please?

As far as divorce is permitted, WHAT? No it’s not. Jesus said that for the hardness of man’s heart MOSES allowed for divorce. Not God. Time to hit the good book. Me thinks.

Another thing on gender communication. Men are direct in our words. We say things with laser like p(name removed by moderator)oint accuracy, with as few a words as possible. Women tend to be more like a shotgun in their approach to verbal communication.

It is really hard for me, and I fight this urge to be blunt, as not to offend the sensibilities of the “fairer sex”, but it’s really hard. It’s hard for men to flower up their words to soften them as to not be taken offensive by women, especially when the woman he’s talking to is already coming from the perpetual victimhood status.

I get it. People who come from a position of privilage (rights without responsibilities) as well as victimhood, do not want to give that up. One with that power, in order to be intellectually honest, must be willing to have the fortitude to realize that they have the power, accept that it’s not right, and be willing to voluntarily give it up.

I believe I missed know how MLK felt before he was assassinated.

 

[theplummer]

I see there is a role of genders comtroversy here? So sad. :slapfight:

Personally I am conservative as to the gender roles and mariage. However, I see that conservatism has a way to go to elaborate a new way for people of both sexes to develop. I see that conservatism is male-dominated, and not without a reason. I believe that “femininity” concept should get a richer meaning and expression within the traditional values. That’s how we should distract women from feminism.:nun2:

Beautifully said. Thank you.

 

[Xantippe]

The idea that women making day to day decisions about spending household income being evidence of wrongdoing or unfairness strikes me as odd. After all, businesses need managers and administrators, too, even if they’re not the ones selling or manufacturing product (really small-scale operations might get away with this, but even then on a two person team you’ve probably got one who does more of “the books.”

Basically my role in the home is household manager. Sure there could be bad managers, but that’s not a sign that management should be done away with (or even that it’s easy to learn). My husband works in administration and is gifted at what he does, but even there the context is completely different than at home. Could he manage 2 (soon to be 3) children and our household finances? If he had to, he could, but no, I don’t think he’d be as good as it as I am. And I think the same goes for me doing his job, not that I’d want to. If for some reason I had to, I could do it, but probably not with the success he’s had. (And like Xantippe said about her husband, my husband feels called to do the work he does, and I feel called to the work I do.)

We are a team. Better together than apart. We’ve had times in our marriage when we looked at each other like adversaries rather than spouses and that was devastating. I can’t see how that attitude is helpful large scale - to set up a large group of people as the enemy. That’s not to say there aren’t groups with agendas harmful to healthy marriage and family life, but that to me would include people who focus excessively on men and “individual rights” as much as women and “individual rights” (being a euphemism for “treating other people badly because I feel like it and anyway they’re probably out to get me.”)

Right.

 

[Xantippe]

This is exactly what the men’s rights movement is all about. The whole reason it exists, is simply a pushback to the feminist supremist movement of second and third wave feminism.

But it doesn’t make a lot of sense to unleash a big load of MRA-ness on a forum full of practicing Catholic women.

Again, the link I’ve provided numerous times now addresses this problem of division between the genders, that liberal politicians thrive on, I really wish you folks would at least give it a look see.

If it has good ideas, summarize them.

However, the liberal “progressives” have zero interest in even inviting the “other side” to the table, to even give a voice to someone who has a legitimate issue with the status quo.

**You’re not talking to liberal progressives.

You’re talking to mostly a bunch of nice Catholic ladies that don’t use birth control, change a lot of diapers, watch the money really carefully, and (in at least one case) buy their clothes at thrift stores and garage sales.

So, adjust to your audience.**

 

[Xantippe]

The thing is that every decent thing you’ve said has also been served up with a heaping side of misogyny, to the degree that even the decent things sound suspect (you’ve demeaned stay-at-home mothers by insisting we don’t really work, that it would be too hard for us to do what our husbands do even though it would be easy in reverse, that all we do is spend money, etc. etc.) You’re setting up women - and all women, including those in very traditional household models - as an enemy.

I can read more replies than just the ones you’ve given me. It’s one thing to talk out of both sides of your mouth when what you perceive as “the opposition” isn’t listening. But all of us can see everything you’re saying. Frankly, the whole thing stinks. If you want to talk about making sure that children have access to their fathers because that’s important, then do it without insulting their mothers. I’d say that whether you were talking on an individual level or on a societal one.

Right.

 

[theplummer]

The Catholic Church allows for divorce. Period.
Divorced people who are single are permitted Sacraments.
Maybe read the Catechism.

I do have quite a few ideas of what you think. You’ve posted your thoughts quite liberally here.

You don’t know me. I am a victim of an abusive man who shot himself at home after threatening to kill me and our 2 young daughters. I wish I had divorced him. The Church said it was fine. Problem was, we were trapped. Literally.
Your “shotgun” remark was unfortunately, a perfect example of “laserlike accuracy”.
Thanks.
But he kept saying things like "you’ll have to pay ME support, I’ll get the house to myself, I’ll get custody of the children…why? Because he labeled me every name in the book. He felt determined to right wrongs heaped upon men like himself. He was a devotee of those websites when men go and complain after women.
All of his perceptions were predicated on these notions in his head, btw.
He was also chronically unemployed, verbally and physically abusive, drunk, you name it.
Do I think all men are like this? Nope. I remarried a wonderful man, who btw, finds many of these posts really insulting to women and the men who love them and feel like their wives do plenty of good in the marriages.

You want to be right? OK, You’re right.
You want people to stop? I’ll stop. Happy to. REALLY happy to.
I’m out.

I am truly sorry for the evil that you’ve been subjected too. I’m sure it still has an effect on you to this day. And I am very happy for you that God presented you with the one that you were obviously made for and likewise.

Your presupposition that the Catholic Church allows for divorce, may be right, but ther is one caveat, you MUST remain chaste and not ever marry again. Now there is a caveat to that also. You spoke of anullment.

Anullment a ARE NOT DIVORCE. It is a tribunal that investigates whether or not a marriage was sacramental. Many are not and the anullment is recognized (meaning that the marriage never existed in the first place). But what if you divorce your spouse and the church refuses to grant the anullment. Are you willing to never marry again? That’s a really hard pill to swallow. It is one that I do condone completely, and since we are getting personal here, I am suffering from the effects of divorce without anullment. So, in order to remain in communion with God, my ex has placed an extreme burdon upon me, due to her proclivity to follow the ways of the world and gave into the desires of sin through adultery.

Not to mention that she walked out the door with “cash and prizes”. She gets lots of emotional support from society as well as legal support from the gynocentric court system.

The really disturbing thing about the whole matter, she still to this day has never had to articulate to anyone why she chose the route she did. Talk about rights without responsibility.

Now I know I’m not the Lone Ranger here and I also know that it happens with the genders reversed, but the effects of the disease IS manifesting the destruction of our country.

The article I linked directly identifies, confronts, and offers a viable solution to the disease that is destroying the western culture.

Someone earlier said that no fault divorce made it “easy” for victims of abuse to divorce. Well there is a negative consequence to that privilage. That is, it also makes it “easy” for folks divorce that shouldn’t divorce, or do so for frivolous reasons, or even no reason.

Divorce should be hard, it should be absolutely the LAST option. If it was, many would choose to actually seek to come to a resolution that actually keeps the family intact.

Now I get it. You suffered great pain. You had to make a choice between two really bad options. And it really was unfortunate that your ex was so incredibly damaged as to cause you to react as you had to.

But please. Let’s look at the current trend, and not the extremes. That’s all I’m asking.

 

[theplummer]

Xantippe.

You call yourself conservative. I believe you believe you are.

I really don’t see it that way. What I see is someone who just doesn’t know what feminism really is.

Feminism is a complete fabrication and school of thought that came directly from the School of Frankfurt. Which is where the whole concept of “cultural Marxism” was conceived.

What is the primary objective of Marxism? It is the destruction of Christianity and the replacement of the state as the one that we “subjects of the state” must go to for everything.

I don’t understand why the Catholic Church has no problem condemning Freemasonry as inherently evil, but refuses to condemn Marxism in any fashion as an enemy of the Church.

Feminism has offered the western world candy and cake all the while its stabbing the one thing we Christians love above all else (or at least we are supposed to) and that is our father, son, and the Holy Spirit.

I just don’t get how good Christ loving people are so blinded by what is so obvious for me to see.

 

[Xantippe]

In fact, my words that you interpret as “demeaning” to SAHM is a response to the demeaning words that were initially brought to me regarding things like “my husband can barely take care of the kids for a couple of hours, much less a whole weekend” ( paraphrasing of course, but you get the idea). There were many more statements made toward the actual feeling that many mothers do feel superior to their husbands, in areas of childcare.

**I was the person that said something like that, but what I actually said was that my friend can’t leave her husband with even a single child for a weekend because 1) he wouldn’t agree to it and 2) it’s hard for him to manage the kids for a solid three hours by himself if she is out for the evening–he feeds the kids crackers for dinner and doesn’t manage to put them to bed before my friend gets home. I also pointed out that my husband can take our 2-year-old for a week and does just fine. (That blew my friend’s mind when she discovered it.) It’s just laughable to suggest that a guy that has never spent a whole day taking care of his own children (or even just one of them) ought to get full custody in the case of divorce. **

This issue is exasorbate by things like television. Men are widely portrays as bumbling idiots, and the mothers and children are seen as sassy and smart, steamrolling over the male role model.

**The flip side of that is that smart sassy mom gets to pick up the slack for bumbling idiot dad…forever. There’s no idea that bumbling dad might actually be capable of steppping up and learning some stuff. **

The same with violence against men on television. It’s funny to watch a man do something stupid and then get hurt, or to watch a “independant woman or child” use her sharp words to put the husband/ father "in his place. You may not believe that this stuff has an effect on you or your children, but it does. So, instead of having the " my husband is so incapable of doing what I do, he couldn’t possibly do my job, (set up for failure, before he’s even given the chance to prove he’s a failure). I see it ALL THE TIME.

How about a little less TV?

How about coming at it from the approach of having faith that your spouse CAN DO, and accept that his way isn’t wrong, when he does it, it’s just different. You would never chastise a child for making his bed wrong, no you’d praise him for the effort. Try praising your husband for the effort. Start looking at the glass half full.

**How do you know that we don’t all do that…a lot?

Also, come to think of it, where is the praise for the wife. You’ve told us that she is just watching TV and playing games with the kids. How about noticing the other stuff she does?**

And please, stop coming from the position of a coiled up snake, looking for an opportunity to strike. If you are expecting someone to say something offensive, that’s all you will ever see.

Just stop… Please?

You’ve said a lot of insulting stuff and made a lot of nasty false assumptions about the female posters on the forum. You assumed that I was a spendthrift driving my husband to work and keeping him away from his children. You assumed lots of different nasty stuff.

How about not doing that?

 

[Xantippe]

Another thing on gender communication. Men are direct in our words. We say things with laser like p(name removed by moderator)oint accuracy, with as few a words as possible. Women tend to be more like a shotgun in their approach to verbal communication.

**Then why do you keep hitting the wrong person accidentally?

Let’s see that p(name removed by moderator)oint accuracy, please.**

It is really hard for me, and I fight this urge to be blunt, as not to offend the sensibilities of the “fairer sex”, but it’s really hard. It’s hard for men to flower up their words to soften them as to not be taken offensive by women, especially when the woman he’s talking to is already coming from the perpetual victimhood status.

That was another insult, by the way.

I get it. People who come from a position of privilage (rights without responsibilities) as well as victimhood, do not want to give that up.

That was another insult.

If people are frequently hearing something different than what you mean, maybe they’re not the problem?

 

[theplummer]

You’ve said a lot of insulting stuff and made a lot of nasty false assumptions about the female posters on the forum. You assumed that I was a spendthrift driving my husband to work and keeping him away from his children. You assumed lots of different nasty stuff.

How about not doing that?

Please go back and read the exact post. You are conveniently forgetting that I did acknowledge that I don’t know you or even that my words applied to you specifically. Though you did admit that you were the laziest mother in the world. Maybe you took my words to much to heart because you really do believe you are lazy and my words just convicted you even though they were specifically identified as not being directed at you as an individual autonomous human being.

More power from a position of victimhood…maybe?

You see it is inherently natural for women as a gender to be very good at manipulation. That’s how women get their needs met from men. Women are so good at it, they don’t even think they are doing it, except when that is there intention to do it.

I was talking to a female friend one day about the female nature of manipulation and how they have the option to use both positive as well as negative manipulation to get their needs met.

She agreed and confirmed that as the default nature of the female gender, however she was uncomfortable with the term “positive manipulation”. She insisted that we call it " inspiring" her husband to do for her and their children.

Actually men respond very well to “inspirational” women. But feminism in all its ills has taught that inspiring from that position is degrading and inferior. It teaches women to be strong and independent. To “take what they want”. And to a large extent they are very successful in getting what they want.

However, there’s always the “ace in the hole” that women get to keep up their sleeve. In that when the strong independent manipulation doesn’t work, she can always slip right back into the feminine nature and come from a position of weakness or victimhood. Then the man feels absolutely guilty and horrible.

This type of behavior is absolutely wrong on so many levels.

And again, I must reiterate that I am in no way accusing you of this behavior. I’m merely stating a common trend or nature of the feminine that many men have to wade through in in their home life as well as their work life.

Again read the article. It addresses this issue also.

I hear you keep saying that I knee to summarize it for you and I keep telling you that that would be both a disservice to the author as well as you.

I can’t pick and choose what to add or leave out. It must be evaluated in its entirety for it to all come together.

I’m sorry it just is.

 

[theplummer]

If people are frequently hearing something different than what you mean, maybe they’re not the problem?

I have no problem when I speak to men about the negatives men bring to the table. In fact many compliment me for being able to articulate in such a way that it is clear for them to understand.

Ok if the last two paragraphs that you claim are insulting, how would you have worded them to express the thought and not be “offensive”?

 

[Xantippe]

Xantippe.

You call yourself conservative. I believe you believe you are.

I really don’t see it that way. What I see is someone who just doesn’t know what feminism really is.

Feminism is a complete fabrication and school of thought that came directly from the School of Frankfurt. Which is where the whole concept of “cultural Marxism” was conceived.

What is the primary objective of Marxism? It is the destruction of Christianity and the replacement of the state as the one that we “subjects of the state” must go to for everything.

I don’t understand why the Catholic Church has no problem condemning Freemasonry as inherently evil, but refuses to condemn Marxism in any fashion as an enemy of the Church.

Feminism has offered the western world candy and cake all the while its stabbing the one thing we Christians love above all else (or at least we are supposed to) and that is our father, son, and the Holy Spirit.

I just don’t get how good Christ loving people are so blinded by what is so obvious for me to see.

I grew up and married in a rah-rah dads/SAHMs/traditional family life conservative Protestant environment, adding an enthusiasm for homeschooling and large families as I converted to Catholicism and married my husband 17 years ago.

I wouldn’t say that I disagree with those things today, but I feel like there’s a lot of fine print that I would add to my earlier enthusiasms:

–It’s OK not to do everything alone–a solitary mother at home with children is not how traditional life ever looked, and it’s a bad idea to encourage new mothers to follow that very unrealistic model
–Women need friendship with other women. It can be hard to make and preserve friendships as a mother.
–Isolation is bad for SAHMs
–SAHMs are very vulnerable to depression.
–The average pregnant woman can’t get as much done as a non-pregnant woman. It’s cruel and unrealistic to expect her to.
–New mothers are very vulnerable and need much more help than they get in the US today.
–Cooking and cleaning are not the apex of motherly achievement. They may be very necessary both financially and to ensure health and safety, but they aren’t the end all be all.
–This is going to be harder than you think. When a woman is struggling at home, it’s a really bad idea to tell her that she’s not struggling.
–In a family above the national average in size, there’s likely to be at least one special needs child. Keep an eye open.
–A conscientious SAHM (even with a good income) has to do without a lot and to figure out how to make the most of limited resources. That can be very hard on the nerves.
–SAHMs need respect and some degree of autonomy at home.

I’ve been thinking a lot more seriously about family issues the last several years. CAF discussions have helped me a lot, as has reading both the manosphere and critiques of the manosphere. There’s also this very interesting contrarian Protestant homeschooling blogger:

thepracticalconservative.wordpress.com/

Here is a good intro post from her on the proper care and feeding of SAHMs:

thepracticalconservative.wordpress.com/the-practical-conservative-guide-to-proper-care-and-feeding-of-a-sahm/

So, that’s where I’m coming from.

 

[Xantippe]

More power from a position of victimhood…maybe?

That’s insulting.

You see it is inherently natural for women as a gender to be very good at manipulation.

That’s insulting, too.

She agreed and confirmed that as the default nature of the female gender, however she was uncomfortable with the term “positive manipulation”. She insisted that we call it " inspiring" her husband to do for her and their children.

Actually men respond very well to “inspirational” women. But feminism in all its ills has taught that inspiring from that position is degrading and inferior. It teaches women to be strong and independent. To “take what they want”. And to a large extent they are very successful in getting what they want.

**Wait–traditional female manipulation is bad, but women that don’t stoop to manipulate are bad, too?

I’m confused.**

However, there’s always the “ace in the hole” that women get to keep up their sleeve. In that when the strong independent manipulation doesn’t work, she can always slip right back into the feminine nature and come from a position of weakness or victimhood. Then the man feels absolutely guilty and horrible.

This type of behavior is absolutely wrong on so many levels.

**So, what do you suggest that a woman do if she is actually struggling and suffering and has come to the end of her rope?

For a person that it doesn’t come naturally to, being unfailingly positive and inspiring requires vast reserves of psychological strength that we don’t necessarily have.

I have a toddler at home. I do the positive inspiration thing with her all day. By the end of the day, my reserves of positivity are all gone. And I have a mildly autistic teen child, too, that needs the same treatment. I have just enough reserves of positivity for the toddler and some for the teen, but not quite enough.

As I like to say on CAF, mom is a limited resource.
**

I hear you keep saying that I knee to summarize it for you and I keep telling you that that would be both a disservice to the author as well as you.

I can’t pick and choose what to add or leave out. It must be evaluated in its entirety for it to all come together.

I’m sorry it just is.

That’s too bad…

I guess I’ll never know how brilliant it was.

 

[pensmama87]

Another thing I was thinking this morning:

Happily married men don’t think women are evil and out to get them.

Happily married women don’t think men are evil and out to get them.

Considering this thread is about restoring marriage, it would seem wise to listen to the advice and experiences of those happily married - even if (actually, perhaps especially) if they’ve struggled through adversity, though I’d suspect that’s most marriages after a while, because living with other people is difficult no matter what.

Coming from a perspective where one sex is inherently more flawed/fragile/evil/conniving/what-have-you is a system doomed to fail.

Sure, feminism as it exists today is wrong about a LOT of things, but it doesn’t mean you copy the worst parts of it, but flip the sexes and say, “This is what we do instead.”

 

[Xantippe]

Another thing I was thinking this morning:

Happily married men don’t think women are evil and out to get them.

Happily married women don’t think men are evil and out to get them.

Right.

Considering this thread is about restoring marriage, it would seem wise to listen to the advice and experiences of those happily married - even if (actually, perhaps especially) if they’ve struggled through adversity, though I’d suspect that’s most marriages after a while, because living with other people is difficult no matter what.

Exactly.

Coming from a perspective where one sex is inherently more flawed/fragile/evil/conniving/what-have-you is a system doomed to fail.

**I have to add here that being sneaky and conniving is a typical strategy for people that don’t have a lot of power. For instance, to give an example that will hopefully offend the least number of people on CAF, when I lived in Russia in the 1990s, I found that the typical Russian was way more sneaky than the average American of the time. However, the Russians had just come out of 70 years of Soviet communism, and life was virtually impossible if you followed the official rules. If you did what “they” said, you and your family would be half-starved, half naked, and with no toilet paper (not even the terrible Soviet kind). In the old communist countries, people got very good at working around the system just for basic survival. **

**Likewise, a lot of women have historically dealt with lack of official power and unreasonable male authority figures by being sneaky. It’s a survival method.

So, I would say that the best way to avoid producing sneakiness in others (for instance, our children) is to make sure that they have an appropriate voice and that it is possible for them to survive and thrive while following your rules. **

Sure, feminism as it exists today is wrong about a LOT of things, but it doesn’t mean you copy the worst parts of it, but flip the sexes and say, “This is what we do instead.”

Right.

How about grabbing some good ideas and leaving the bad ideas?

–We shouldn’t make our children feel bad about their interests or talents if they are “wrong” for their gender.
–Our children are individuals and deserve to be treated as individuals
–Our husband or wife is an individual and deserves to be treated as an individual.
–Mothers aren’t the only kind of parent and shouldn’t have to do all housework and childcare.
–Fathers ought to be able to perform basic childcare and household tasks
–Women should not expect husbands to carry 100% of the load of financially supporting a household from the day they get married and for the rest of their lives
–Both spouses should take an interest in the family’s finances and the children’s education.

 

[pensmama87]

Right.

How about grabbing some good ideas and leaving the bad ideas?

–We shouldn’t make our children feel bad about their interests or talents if they are “wrong” for their gender.
–Our children are individuals and deserve to be treated as individuals
–Our husband or wife is an individual and deserves to be treated as an individual.
–Mothers aren’t the only kind of parent and shouldn’t have to do all housework and childcare.
–Fathers ought to be able to perform basic childcare and household tasks
–Women should not expect husbands to carry 100% of the load of financially supporting a household from the day they get married and for the rest of their lives
–Both spouses should take an interest in the family’s finances and the children’s education.

Sounds good to me.

I am very interested in the wellbeing of men and boys. I have two boys and another in utero. I know that things are hard for boys these days in ways that haven’t been true in past generations. And I’m even comfortable blaming the feminist movement for some of that.

But I also know that teaching my boys to be suspicious of women is not going to be good for them. I will teach them to carefully discern if they are called to marriage and their choice of a marriage partner, but that’s not a statement on women in general.

Everybody I know who thinks that way is single. (And they’re surprised that they are. Really?)

 

[Andre1000]

Are educated women a problem?

No. That there is no faith anymore is the problem. If she has faith then everything good will follow. I know some women of the highest education that have the catholic faith and they handle this very fine.

 

[JimG]

Another thing I was thinking this morning:

Happily married men don’t think women are evil and out to get them.

Happily married women don’t think men are evil and out to get them.

Considering this thread is about restoring marriage, it would seem wise to listen to the advice and experiences of those happily married - even if (actually, perhaps especially) if they’ve struggled through adversity, though I’d suspect that’s most marriages after a while, because living with other people is difficult no matter what.

Coming from a perspective where one sex is inherently more flawed/fragile/evil/conniving/what-have-you is a system doomed to fail.

Sure, feminism as it exists today is wrong about a LOT of things, but it doesn’t mean you copy the worst parts of it, but flip the sexes and say, “This is what we do instead.”

This makes a lot of sense to me. Actual happy marriages help to restore marriage. And every marriage is different; they don’t all have to be the same to be happy. I think that maybe an increase in dysfunctional marriages resulting in divorce gave their children a negative expectation of marriage. But that can be turned around.

 

[theplummer]

Sorry for taking some time away, I felt I needed to back off and “regroup” my emotions and rationality.

I got too wrapped up in the specific. I allowed myself to go down a “rabbit hole” that I never intended to do. So please accept my most sincere apologies. I try not to take anything personal, but sometimes that happens and I sometimes don’t recognize it when it does.

In my time of reflection, I’ve managed to find a video that speaks to the broad concept of where we are relavant to where we would like to be.

I’m going to attach a 90 minute video that I’d encourage everyone to watch that clearly articulates how there is power in victimhood and how denial of a privilage adds to that, and lastly how an oppressed group can easily become an oppressor.

There is another message in this video that I also feel is important, but it’s a side issue, not relative to the discussion directly, but is relavant indirectly. That is that our current educational system is not interested in teaching our children HOW to think, but rather WHAT to think. This is a very dangerous trend to each and every individual, the basic human right(God given) right to being an individual with freedom and liberty for all.

I promise that the 90 minutes you spend on this will not be a waste of time.

youtu.be/GdbSP_Ramvs\QUOTE]

 

[Walking_Home]

Right.

How about grabbing some good ideas and leaving the bad ideas?

–We shouldn’t make our children feel bad about their interests or talents if they are “wrong” for their gender.
–Our children are individuals and deserve to be treated as individuals
–Our husband or wife is an individual and deserves to be treated as an individual.
–Mothers aren’t the only kind of parent and shouldn’t have to do all housework and childcare.
–Fathers ought to be able to perform basic childcare and household tasks
–Women should not expect husbands to carry 100% of the load of financially supporting a household from the day they get married and for the rest of their lives
–Both spouses should take an interest in the family’s finances and the children’s education.

---