A horrible habit - lying

[jal65]

Hi, I could do with some advice. I’ve recently come back to the faith and went to confession for the first time in ages at the weekend - it was a full and honest confession in which I confessed to many things including lying. Since I was a child (many moons ago) I have told lies for attention - We moved house and schools when I was about 8 and I was painfully shy - to get attention and make friends I started to lie, these lies led to more and more. This continued into adulthood. Some of the lies were total fabrications to make myself more interesting or to get attention. I soon got found out and stopped.

Now 30 odd years later I find myself still lying - not the huge fabrications of my younger days but mostly silly little lies/exaggerations/embellishments. A couple of examples - I stayed up until 1am working instead of the reality 11pm - or it took 10 mins to do said activity when in reality it only took 5 mins - totally pointless I know but I’ve opened my mouth and said it before I’ve realised and I could kick myself the minute I’ve blurted it out. I honestly dont set out to say these things; they’re just slipping out and I am so cross with myself that I do it time and time again. I even took time out from “life” recently to see if I withdrew from friends/colleagues I could get out of this stupid habit - it worked in as much as while I was away from people as I had no one to talk to but the minute I go back into the real world the exaggerations are there again - I dont even know why???

Are these all mortal sins? If so then I will permanently be in a state of mortal sin until I find a way of controlling my tongue. Anyone have any advice because apart from locking myself away I dont seem to be able to stop myself as it’s not a conscious thing I’m doing - it really is said before I realise it I spent most of today at work chanting over and over in my head the Fatima prayer and still slipped up when someone asked how my weekend had been

 

[Newbie2]

There are habits…vices and virtues that we all have. Vices are the bad habits and virtues the good ones. In order to develop either, one has to practice. Once one has acquired such habits, they are exceedingly difficult to break.

What I might suggest is a good Catholic therapist to help address this issue. Sometimes our behavior gets so ingrained that we need a little help to get us in the right direction.

 

[Dorothy]

The lies you mentioned don’t sound like mortal sins at all, but it would be good if you confessed them and through the grace of the sacrament you can eventually rid yourself of these lies/exaggerations.

I remind myself a lot to think carefully before I speak. It saves a lot of heartache and guilty feelings.

 

[ahs]

I remind myself a lot to think carefully before I speak. It saves a lot of heartache and guilty feelings.

Same here. I answer questions slowly now, to make sure the “white-lie” habit does not resurface. On occasions where I do stretch the truth/lie, I force myself to immediately correct myself. It can be embarrassing, but at least people walk away knowing that I am honest…even to the point of humiliating myself to make sure of it.