A husband's responsibility?

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In what practical ways can a husband lead his family, and help his wife?

I feel like saying “you’re supposed to help your spouse get to heaven” can be interpreted as a lot of pressure to “fix things”.

I could drive my spouse nuts trying to make things work, ordering the family to pray together, etc.

But I feel like that’s not the right approach, and what if any of us aren’t in the right place to pray, for example? Sometimes people are dealing with things that are obstacles to praying or something like that, so what then as a husband do I do without nagging or controlling?
 
SpeakKindly said:
In what practical ways can a husband lead his family, and help his wife?

I feel like saying “you’re supposed to help your spouse get to heaven” can be interpreted as a lot of pressure to “fix things”.

I could drive my spouse nuts trying to make things work, ordering the family to pray together, etc.

But I feel like that’s not the right approach, and what if any of us aren’t in the right place to pray, for example? Sometimes people are dealing with things that are obstacles to praying or something like that, so what then as a husband do I do without nagging or controlling?
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Being a leader to your wife and family means being a SERVANT. That was the approach that Jesus took. He was a Servant to the point of giving His life for His Bride.

Start by just being there (something that seems so basic, but a lot of husbands miss it and end up being gone all the time for reasons other than work obligations).

And when you are there, deal with whatever comes up in the moment without being asked (e.g., dishes need washing and wife and children are busy doing another family project, so you do them).

Don’t be obsessive-compulsive about this. Just be there and do the work of the day, whatever it is, without being asked and without being crabby about it, and don’t expect any thanks (although hopefully your wife and children will say thank you).
 
Cat said:
Being a leader to your wife and family means being a SERVANT. That was the approach that Jesus took. He was a Servant to the point of giving His life for His Bride.

Start by just being there (something that seems so basic, but a lot of husbands miss it and end up being gone all the time for reasons other than work obligations).

And when you are there, deal with whatever comes up in the moment without being asked (e.g., dishes need washing and wife and children are busy doing another family project, so you do them).

Don’t be obsessive-compulsive about this. Just be there and do the work of the day, whatever it is, without being asked and without being crabby about it, and don’t expect any thanks (although hopefully your wife and children will say thank you).
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Awesome points! Thank you bunches. 🙂

I feel like a lot of stuff about being married is basic stuff, it’s just that Catholicism gives it more depth than just doing things to be nice or something. Lol

I’ve been over thinking things lately, just wanted clarity.
 
Oh, oh, oh!! I love what Monicad said! Amen amen! God bless you for asking the question of “What is a husband’s responsibility?” I also think the other answers of just “being there” and doing what is needed at the moment and of “listening” is so important. When a woman has been “truly” heard she feels as if 50 per cent of the problem or concern has lifted. Sometimes it’s 100 percent. Without an understanding sympathetic listening husband the concern can grow to become a monster.
 
Also, if you notice and thank people for what they do, they will start noticing and thanking you 😉 Show lots of appreciation for what your wife does, and try to do a little something for her each day. I started setting up the coffeemaker at night so my husband just has to flup a switch to get coffee–a little thing but he sure does appreciate it 🙂

When you make a decision like praying the Rosary as a family, if you present it as something you’d like to try, it will probably be easier than “ordering” everyone to do it! Be consistent, and be the one who handles it.

The really great and wonderful thing is that children are more likely to follow their father’s religious practices than their mother’s, so your involvement will make a huge difference!!!
 
Practice prayer daily morning & night. After a consistent practice if she doesn’t ask to join in, invite her but don’t push.

Next, if you have issues with control or nagging, work on yourself. As you get better, you will be surprised how much “better” your wife gets.

Good luck!
 
SpeakKindly said:
In what practical ways can a husband lead his family, and help his wife?

I feel like saying “you’re supposed to help your spouse get to heaven” can be interpreted as a lot of pressure to “fix things”.

I could drive my spouse nuts trying to make things work, ordering the family to pray together, etc.

But I feel like that’s not the right approach, and what if any of us aren’t in the right place to pray, for example? Sometimes people are dealing with things that are obstacles to praying or something like that, so what then as a husband do I do without nagging or controlling?
Click to expand...
It doesn’t have to be a big, big prayer. It could be just a short one, for instance when just about to set off for a big trip together, or if you pass an accident on the road or see an ambulance speeding away with lights blinking.
 
You love your wife as Christ loved the Church and died for it. For this cause a man shall leave his mother and father and cleave unto his wife. A husband’s responsibility is to create a new family with with wife. And the bond with his wife must be completely unbreakable.

Together, with his wife, they will determine how to raise their children. His responsibility is for the health and safety and spiritual welfare of his family. They come first. Not his job. Not his friends. Not his relatives. The family he has chosen–his wife and his children are now his priority. This is the family God will bless.

The secular world teaches the husbands responsibility ends at the paycheck stub. His worth is determined by his wealth. Not true. A husbands worth is determined by his ability to protect and provide for his family and this goes beyond the ability to earn a paycheck. If he only brings home a paycheck and ignores the emotional and spiritual needs of this family he is nothing more than an ATM machine.

A husband’s responsibility is to be the embodiment of Christs love. So when we read in the scriptures that God loves us like “a Father” this image is understood in all its power and love. It is not a condemning, spiteful, or evasive love it is a full and encompassing love.

A husband has an amazing responsibility. You are the most important person in your family’s life. You will set the tone for the family now and for generations. Not just for your children but for your nieces and nephews. And to their children. How you treat your wife and your children will be discussed and imitated for the rest of your lifetime.

They are very fortunate to have someone who is humbled enough to ask this question.

Good luck on your journey.
 
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