how can i defend the presentation of these verses?
“God is love.” 1 john 4:8
“Love is not jealous.” 1 corinthians 13:4
“I, the lord thy god, am a jealous god.” exodus 20:5
We don’t have a word “zealousy” in English - but “jealousy” includes what it would mean if we did.
God is zealous: that is part of the meaning of jealousy - what jealousy does not involve as applied to God is the notion of envy, spite, petty-mindedness. The word translated “jealous” does not include the malice that the word in English so easily tends to imply.
What it does mean, is that God is absolutely “committed” to Israel - that His love for Israel is total, unreserved, not divided; it is love in full force, at white heat, blazing hot - not lukewarm. This is why He demands the same exclusive, undivided, completely unreserved, incandescent love from His People, as in Deuteronomy 6: it’s why the “first and great commandment” makes absolute demands; & why there is no place for “other gods”. This is the exclusive love & obedience to God which the Prophets denounced the Chosen People for dividing with “other gods” - God had chosen Israel as His Bride, so she was committing adultery by her unfaithfulness.
God is the Righteous & Holy God. His zeal for His Name is all-consuming, for that reason, & His People was chosen to make it known & glorious, so that “the nations” might know Him as the only God & Saviour, the only Lord.
The Prophets show us a “division” within God: He chose Jerusalem to be the place where His Name should dwell - yet Jerusalem had become unrighteous: it was abusing His faithfulness by living unrighteously. So He rejects His own People for a while - then gathers them. This tension between the Holiness of God, & His Faithfulness, was one of several problems that pre-Christian Judaism had grasped, but not resolved.
For Christians, they are resolved in the Person of Christ, the Suffering Servant of the Lord, & also the Crucified Messiah Who destroys death by undergoing it for the sinners whose sin has separated them from God. In the NT, this obedient love that God commanded as a response to His choice of Israel that He might be their God, & they His people, is the Love that Jesus shows on the Cross - as we say, “Like Father, like Son”: to see Jesus, is to see (IOW, to experience) His Father: the Sacred Heart of the Son is a revelation of His Father.
So the Love of Christ for sinners is a Love that will stop at nothing, that is so completely self-sacrificial that His obedience to His Father knows no limits: He is the perfect Servant of the Lord because He fulfils in His Life & Work & Death all that Israel was called to be, & all that Israel was commanded to do. He gives Himself totally to His Father’s Will, even to the extent of becoming a curse for us, & taking on Himself the guilt & penalty of our sin, so that what we deserve, He undergoes in our place, as the perfect fulfilment of all the sacrificial laws in the OT. That’s why we have the Mass - it is the sacramental sign that effects all that the Sacrifice of the Cross is & does & signifies. The Love of Christ for His Church, which drew Him to give Himself for her, is the reason that a consummated marriage cannot be dissolved: it is a little echo of the utter faithfulness of God Incarnate. That’s why (as C.S. Lewis points out) the headship of the husband is a place of danger. It’s also why the Cross cannot be removed from Christianity - which is very inconvenient for
us 
IOW, this Love is totalitarian: God requires from us the same unreserved, self-denying, universal love that He gives us: as we are creatures & sinners, He has to do it for us & in us; He requires of us something we simply cannot give - so He makes us members of His Body & pours out His Spirit to make us able to give it. We have
communion in Him, with the Father, through the Spirit, & with one another: He works, through men, to accomplish the Will of His Father, now as then.
IOW, God’s “jealousy” is the very opposite of ours
