a late bloomer....

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reed987

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hey everyone
my best friend from back home (hes noncatholic and nonchristian, he says he believes in god but not in organized religion) is really struggling lately.
He’s 19 years old and single, and doesn’t have too much experience with dating. He feels really bad because he worries that he’ll never find anyone and his mom keeps telling him if he’s not careful he’ll be alone for the rest of his life. to make matters worse he’s surrounded by other guys at his trade school who brag about their “conquests” and make him feel bad for being a virgin.
I’ve been trying to encourage him but I really feel like I need help. What can I tell him to make him see that he doesn’t need to buy into the lies of our culture regarding this subject?

thanks and god bless 😃
 
He is only 19, for cryin’ out loud – I wonder what is up with his mother, telling him stuff like that. If he were 35, that would be a different matter, but just because the rest of the world seems to start dating at the age of 10 doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with him for waiting until he is ready. Even though he is not “religious” at this point in his life, at least he believes in God. And God wouldn’t want him to hook up with just any girl, simply so he can keep up with the guys at his trade school. Half the stuff they say if probably an exaggeration anyway, and by staying pure, at least he’s not going to get anyone pregnant or catch an STD.

This might be a good time in his life to explore his spirituality as well as to seek out leisure-time activities which will bring him new friends of both sexes, without the focus being just on finding someone to date. Then, when he is ready and meets the right girl, things will happen naturally. In the mean time, tell him to just be himself and relax.

God bless you for being a good friend.
 
Try to include him in any activities of a Catholic young adult or youth group or sports league. This will serve 2 purposes:
  1. It will give him a support group of people who instead of bragging about conquests, will encourage resistance to that form of peer pressure.
  2. He may be moved to become Catholic by their good example.
And he may also meet a good Catholic girl.
 
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