A Letter from the Wife of a Porn Addict

[Sugabee43]

Sorry to hear things are still rough, Sugabee. You’re so right - if he doesn’t want to change his behavior and keeps justifying the porn use in his mind, nothing will help until he finally wants to change, unfortunately. I’m finding that out as well in my marriage as I’m sure many other wives sadly discover, too. I will pray for your 16-year old and you as well. I’m sorry it’s so difficult for everyone. I’m glad you’re able to be at the point now where you’re not blaming yourself for this sin of his anyway. When we wives get blamed for so long, it can take quite awhile to get to that better place, unfortunately. Please take care, and may our dear Lord remain by your side.

Thanks, bmaj! I’m definitely doing that!!

 

[DlandFan06]

There are some helpful resources: reclaimsexualhealth.com/Reclaim-Online-Program/features.html;

Google “Matt Fradd” he has worked in this area for years. There are many other resources available, specific to Catholics, as well as for others.

There may have been a time when Christians who had continuing sexual “issues” were labelled as bad people by themselves. Today I think the opposite extreme is more common. The tendency is, “well, this is an addiction. Now that I know that, that means I am not really responsible for my actions.” The reality is that yes, there is an addictive component, but we are morally responsible to not merely avoid temptation, but to actively seek out psychological/spiritual resources to deal with it.

This might mean reading books, getting an accountability partner, getting into an online program such as RECLAiM, seeking out support groups, and getting a regular confessor, rather than shopping around.

Well sometimes you need to shop around to find a regular confessor. Just sayin’.