Sarc,
I’m glad to hear you and your DH talked things out. I understand your frustration that you were going through. My DH and I have been married about five months and we have a similiar situation. We’re both finished with school and have full-time jobs, but he’s a teacher, so he usually gets home about 1-2 hrs earlier than me. Plus, to top it off, I became pregnant on our honeymoon, so from about 3 wks after that and on, I’ve been beyond exhausted.
Our main conflicts in the beginning came from expectations that were not being fulfilled because of the above situation. I was frustrated that I wasn’t home, able to clean and cook and be there and he was frustrated because that meant that he had to cook almost every evening. He is not particularly fond of cooking and says it always tastes much better when I cook, even if we were to make the same things.
He didn’t expect me to be flat on my back once I got home, practically in tears because I was so exhausted. He also didn’t expect us to have so little time together during the weekdays, when my job requires me to be there usually more than 40 hrs a week (and my bedtime is between 8-9pm).
We have had to talk about these things over and over again because otherwise we both get frustrated. After the first three months, we finally talked about how he didn’t want to cook and now we half-jokingly say, “In May, you (DH) don’t have to cook EVER AGAIN!” By then, I’ll have had the baby and hopefully be on my feet enough to make meals and will be home full-time
. We both grew up in households where, for the most part, cleaning and cooking was the woman’s job. My dad grills and will cook when my mom is too busy, but it’s not that often. His dad never cooks. In fact, if he has to, it’s hotdogs and fries.
Oh, btw, my husband LOVES computer games, esp. RPGs. When he’s on the computer, the rest of the world ceases to exist. That’s been another conflict, but we’ve been able to work this one out too
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