A little levity for our atheist friends.....

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I mean no disrepect to our atheist friends and thought that all of us might get a chuckle from this…

“BEAR & GRIN IT”

An atheist was walking through the woods.

‘What majestic trees!’

‘What powerful rivers!’

‘What beautiful animals!’

He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard

a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned

to look. He saw a 10-foot grizzly bear charging towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He

looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear

was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, and the

bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on

the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up

but saw that the bear was right on top of
him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising
his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the atheist cried out, ‘Oh my God!’

Time Stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice

came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence

for all these years, teach others I don’t exist,

and even credit creation to cosmic accident.

Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?
Am I to count you as a believer?’

The atheist looked directly into the light and said,

'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask

you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps

you could make the BEAR a Christian?’

‘Very Well,’ said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed.
And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws
together, bowed his head & spoke:

‘Lord bless this food, which I am about to
receive from thy bounty! Amen.’

😃
 
Kirk, Spock and Bones go at it:
Code: 
		 		  		 		 			 			**SPOCK:** You are correct, Doctor.  It is logical to infer from the evidence of our existence that it is  possible that other intelligent life in the form of a Supreme Being also  exists. However, let us continue to examine pure chance: Let us suppose  that we are flipping a coin. The coin keeps landing on its edge, which  is highly improbable. The coin should land on heads or tails most of the  time. If it continues to land on its edge, we can infer that someone or  something unseen and unknown to us is interfering with the coin’s  probable outcomes.
KIRK: So if we can find something analogous in our universe to the “coin” and “structures,” we have our proof of a Creator…a Supreme Being?

SPOCK: Yes, I believe we will have as much proof as we are ever going to have short of direct contact.

BONES: Spock, you green-blooded, pointed-eared freak! Tell us already what in our universe is analogous to your “structures” and “coin” illustrations!

SPOCK: You’re familiar with mathematics and Science, Doctor. If our universe were pure chaos and pure chance, then mathematics and Science would have no value.

KIRK: But Spock everyone knows that math and science are products of us—not a Supreme Being.

SPOCK: So it appears, Captain. The laws of physics are like the “coin” . They consistently work for us, but they don’t have to. Pure chance and chaos dictate that physical laws should not work for us consistently. Therefore, something or someone is interfering with the probable outcomes. Light always travels the same speed, large masses always warp space, and protons are always attracted to electrons. These phenomena are like the coin consistently landing on its edge. Such determinism should not exist in a chaotic universe.

BONES: Even the chaos we do have seems to have stacked odds that we can master with math, science and technology.

SPOCK: Precisely, Doctor. Therefore, pure chance can be eliminated as a possible cause of the “structures.”

KIRK: So what is analogous to the “structures” in your deserted planet illustration?

SPOCK: Why the universe’s design and structure. Now that we have eliminated pure chance as the cause of the universe’s design…

BONES: There must be a God—I knew it!

KIRK: Spock, why do you suppose we have never made direct contact with this Supreme Being?

SPOCK: I have a theory…

BONES and KIRK: Let’s here it!

SCOTTY: Capt’n, the golf cart is ready to go!

(Kirk, Bones, Spock, Scotty climb into the golf cart. Sulu is in the driver’s seat)

KIRK: To the first tee, warp factor 100000…, Mr. Sulu!

SULU: Aye, sir.

KIRK: Now where were we? Oh yes…Spock continue…

SPOCK: I believe that we can no more make contact with the Supreme Being than the characters in a play can make contact with the playwright.

KIRK: Spock, are you suggesting that we are just characters in a writer’s script?

SPOCK: Yes, Captain—

BONES: Holy Gene Roddenberry, Spock, that’s absurd! I think, therefore I am! I have free will! I refuse to believe that I am nothing more than a character in a play!

(Laughter erupts in the golf cart at Spock’s expense.)

SPOCK: (With a slightly perturbed countenance, Spock raises his eyebrows) Humans.
 
A Christian lady who lived next door to an atheist

There was a Christian lady who lived next door to an atheist. Every day, when the lady prayed, the atheist guy could hear her. He thought to himself, “She sure is crazy, praying all the time like that. Doesn’t she know there isn’t a God?”

Many times while she was praying, he would go to her house and harass her, saying “Lady, why do you pray all the time? Don’t you know there is no God?” But she kept on praying.

One day, she ran out of groceries. As usual, she was praying to the Lord explaining her situation and thanking Him for what He was gonna do. As usual, the atheist heard her praying and thought to himself, “Humph! I’ll fix her.”

He went to the grocery store, bought a whole bunch of groceries, took them to her house, dropped them off on the front porch, rang the door bell and then hid in the bushes to see what she would do. When she opened the door and saw the groceries, she began to praise the Lord with all her heart, jumping, singing and shouting everywhere! The atheist then jumped out of the bushes and told her, “You ol’ crazy lady, God didn’t buy you those groceries, I bought those groceries!” At hearing this, she broke out and started running down the street, shouting and praising the Lord.

When he finally caught her, he asked what her problem was. She said, “I knew the Lord would provide me with some groceries, but I didn’t know he was gonna make the devil pay for them!”

😃
 
You probably remember the riots and demonstrations when that Danish cartoonist published a cartoon featuring Mohammed?

Well, yesterday thousands of atheists tore their hair out, picked up paving stones and hurled them at police when the same magazine published a blank page.
 
An Atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself “Good Lord, I’m finished!!!.”

Suddenly to his comlete shocke, there is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out: “No, you are NOT finished!”

The atheist can hardly believe his ears. “You really exist, God!!”

“Yes, and now do what I tell you! Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you.”

Filled with new courage, the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the living heck out of the chief.

As he stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 natives with a look of shock on their faces, Gods voice booms out again: “Okay …
… NOW you’re finished!.”
 
An atheist was in the habit of walking along a cliff which had a magnificent view of the sea. But one day he got too close to the edge, and fell over the edge towards the jagged rocks and tumbling sea below.

Fortunately there was a small bush about half way down which broke his fall. Winded, and suffering concussion and other injuries, he gradually came to his senses.

He remembered where he was and started calling out, “Is there anybody up there?”, in the remote hope that a passerby might hear him and call for help.

This went on for several hours, and he was just about to give up, when a voice suddenly boomed out of the sky. “This is God speaking. Now just let go of the bush, and I will let you down gently, as a miraculous sign just for you.”

The atheist was thunderstruck. But he didn’t believe it. So he kept calling, “Is there anybody up there?” Again he was about to give up, when the voice boomed out of heaven again. “This is God speaking. Now just let go of the bush, and I will let you down gently, as a miraculous sign just for you.”

The atheist lay there thinking. Should he or shouldn’t he? If that was God, then he thought he could probably trust him. He procrastinated. He had second thoughts. He looked at the rocks and the sea. Then he cried out in a loud voice,

“Is there anybody else up there??”
 
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