A male college student and the opposite sex

[PeteZaHut]

I am at my third day of college right now, and its like I’ve been placed in a giant village full of beautiful young women. I haven’t ever really been around girls a lot on a daily basis before. I went to an all-male high school.

I don’t really know where you draw the line between lust and just making normal eye contact. Is it wrong to admire a woman’s attractiveness. I am not sure where it really becomes a sin. I find myself just trying to look away whenever I see a pretty girl, even if they are completely appropriately dressed. I know that seems ridiculous.

 

[Newbie2]

I am at my third day of college right now, and its like I’ve been placed in a giant village full of beautiful young women. I haven’t ever really been around girls a lot on a daily basis before. I went to an all-male high school.

I don’t really know where you draw the line between lust and just making normal eye contact. Is it wrong to admire a woman’s attractiveness. I am not sure where it really becomes a sin. I find myself just trying to look away whenever I see a pretty girl, even if they are completely appropriately dressed. I know that seems ridiculous.

Just look at them and smile. God made them beautiful, and it’s OK to appreciate that beauty. When you start undressing them with your mind…that crosses the line.

 

[Christy_Beth]

First off, relax!! Concentrate on getting to know the campus, other students, etc. As long as you don’t see the ladies as sex objects, then you should be ok. Or, as already been suggested, if you start undressing them in your mind, then you’re in trouble.

 

[newbetx]

I am at my third day of college right now, and its like I’ve been placed in a giant village full of beautiful young women. I haven’t ever really been around girls a lot on a daily basis before. I went to an all-male high school.

I don’t really know where you draw the line between lust and just making normal eye contact. Is it wrong to admire a woman’s attractiveness. I am not sure where it really becomes a sin. I find myself just trying to look away whenever I see a pretty girl, even if they are completely appropriately dressed. I know that seems ridiculous.

Well, congrats. Wish I could go back to college.

It is not wrong to admire the beauty of a woman. But what constitutes beauty. Certainly God has created, physically, some very pretty women. Some are pretty within. Some are not. Look for the good in everyone. It’s important to remember this whenever you look at anyone else. Lust is a desire to have and use for oneself, even if temporary. As long as you practice seeing the good of people and recognizing they are God’s children, you will do OK. It is a habit. A bad habit of gauking or fanticizing or making demeaning statements is a sure sign of trouble. And the lack of modesty of some does not help you. Try your best, confess the rest.

 

[Nechasin]

If you get whiplash in your neck, then it is wrong.

There is nothing wrong with appreciating God’s creation. Some of the PP have given very good definitions of lust. One thing that has always helped me is to ask yourself if you are giving her the respect that you would like other men to give to your future wife or daughters. That idea really brought it home for me.

 

[kmleo]

My general rule of thumb is:

If I were actually performing or acting upon any of the thoughts in my head, would I be sinning? If the answer is yes, then it’s probably lust. Either way, if I have to ask, then I say a quick St Michael prayer and an Our Father to stop further temptation.

Blessings upon you! You are going to have a great year. Join the Catholic College Students Group.

 

[demol]

One thing that has always helped me is to ask yourself if you are giving her the respect that you would like other men to give to your future wife or daughters.

Exactly what I used to try to do. Good advice!

 

[pentecostbaby]

Pete -
Congrats on college! I’ve seen a few of your posts here, and I hope you’re having a great first week. It will get better .
Remember: it’s only a sin if you’re intentionally thinking these things. If it just “pops in your head”, it’s temptation - not sin.
If they are really immodestly dressed - and I teach at a southern university, so I’ve seen what some of the girls wear - it’s okay just to look away. Otherwise, perhaps you can just smile.
Remember, most of those girls are, like you, worried about making a good impression, making friends, and being a good person. Think the best of them - the way God sees them - not the worst of them.
Does your school have a Newman club? That’s a great place to meet friends who share your values, and who can offer you great advice.

 

[PeteZaHut]

There is a Catholic student group that I plan on joining. Thank you all for the advice.

 

[PapaSquash]

I am at my third day of college right now, and its like I’ve been placed in a giant village full of beautiful young women. I haven’t ever really been around girls a lot on a daily basis before. I went to an all-male high school.

I don’t really know where you draw the line between lust and just making normal eye contact. Is it wrong to admire a woman’s attractiveness. I am not sure where it really becomes a sin. I find myself just trying to look away whenever I see a pretty girl, even if they are completely appropriately dressed. I know that seems ridiculous.

Lust has more to do with where your mind goes than where your eyes go, but you are on the right track with normal eye contact. That’s where the real person is. If you avert your eyes, just don’t look down.