A Modest Proposal!

[lutherlic]

Isn’t Michael Crichton dead? Anything he wrote about this subject would be at least a year out of date.

He was killed by the effects of global warming.

Sorry - I couldn’t resist. He died of throat cancer 11/4/2008.

 

[Ridgerunner]

Do you think we oughta sell COWbun Credits?

Good thought. However, it may be observed that cows don’t really quite have what we would call genuine “buns”. Bulls come much closer to having true buns, but cows are pretty disappointing in that regard. So, the credit would have to be symbolically, not literally understood, which perhaps was your point anyway.

But, while “cowbun credits” are an admirable goal, it’s embarrassingly true that there were about as many bison in North America before the first cow set foot on the continent as there are now cattle. So, it’s a bit hard to blame cattle, exactly, for MMGW, notwithstanding their gasification.

One thing that is clearly different now, though, is the number of people in the U.S. Now, the OP might suggest we eat them, per Jonathan Swift. However, I do not feel it’s necessary to do that, and has the further disadvantage of being aesthetically unappealing.

Therefore, we might consider the following:

Given that there are now about 300 million Americans and, (not to be vulgar) let’s face it, 300 million Americans exhale a great deal of CO2 during the, um, sex act. (Think of all the huffing and puffing, but don’t dwell on it or it’s a mortal sin) Having larger lung capacities than women, men are undoubtedly the most serious offenders; are often the initiators, and their huffing should be curtailed by all necessary means.

Taking a leaf from the Puritans, who put offenders of various sorts into the stocks, we could punish (and simultaneously shame) male offenders by simply tying them for periods of time to a post set in the middle of public squares. This would satisfy liberals on many levels; punishment of men for having testosterone; ultimate population reduction; reduction of atmospheric CO2 and being killjoys generally. As we know, in the Anglosphere, many locations are identified by some descriptive term followed by “ton”; as in “Appleton” or “Pleasanton”. As a widespread public institution, the places of punishment would warrant adding that “…ton” to the terminology for the punishment.

Therefore, the place of punishment in every town could be officially called…

… the “Huffington Post”.

 

[Anselm33]

… the “Huffington Post”.

 

[kimmielittle]

Good thought. However, it may be observed that cows don’t really quite have what we would call genuine “buns”. Bulls come much closer to having true buns, but cows are pretty disappointing in that regard. So, the credit would have to be symbolically, not literally understood, which perhaps was your point anyway.

But, while “cowbun credits” are an admirable goal, it’s embarrassingly true that there were about as many bison in North America before the first cow set foot on the continent as there are now cattle. So, it’s a bit hard to blame cattle, exactly, for MMGW, notwithstanding their gasification.

One thing that is clearly different now, though, is the number of people in the U.S. Now, the OP might suggest we eat them, per Jonathan Swift. However, I do not feel it’s necessary to do that, and has the further disadvantage of being aesthetically unappealing.

Therefore, we might consider the following:

Given that there are now about 300 million Americans and, (not to be vulgar) let’s face it, 300 million Americans exhale a great deal of CO2 during the, um, sex act. (Think of all the huffing and puffing, but don’t dwell on it or it’s a mortal sin) Having larger lung capacities than women, men are undoubtedly the most serious offenders; are often the initiators, and their huffing should be curtailed by all necessary means.

Taking a leaf from the Puritans, who put offenders of various sorts into the stocks, we could punish (and simultaneously shame) male offenders by simply tying them for periods of time to a post set in the middle of public squares. This would satisfy liberals on many levels; punishment of men for having testosterone; ultimate population reduction; reduction of atmospheric CO2 and being killjoys generally. As we know, in the Anglosphere, many locations are identified by some descriptive term followed by “ton”; as in “Appleton” or “Pleasanton”. As a widespread public institution, the places of punishment would warrant adding that “…ton” to the terminology for the punishment.

Therefore, the place of punishment in every town could be officially called…

… the “Huffington Post”.

:clapping::clapping:

 

[kamaan]

Good thought. However, it may be observed that cows don’t really quite have what we would call genuine “buns”. Bulls come much closer to having true buns, but cows are pretty disappointing in that regard. So, the credit would have to be symbolically, not literally understood, which perhaps was your point anyway.

But, while “cowbun credits” are an admirable goal, it’s embarrassingly true that there were about as many bison in North America before the first cow set foot on the continent as there are now cattle. So, it’s a bit hard to blame cattle, exactly, for MMGW, notwithstanding their gasification.

One thing that is clearly different now, though, is the number of people in the U.S. Now, the OP might suggest we eat them, per Jonathan Swift. However, I do not feel it’s necessary to do that, and has the further disadvantage of being aesthetically unappealing.

Therefore, we might consider the following:

Given that there are now about 300 million Americans and, (not to be vulgar) let’s face it, 300 million Americans exhale a great deal of CO2 during the, um, sex act. (Think of all the huffing and puffing, but don’t dwell on it or it’s a mortal sin) Having larger lung capacities than women, men are undoubtedly the most serious offenders; are often the initiators, and their huffing should be curtailed by all necessary means.

Taking a leaf from the Puritans, who put offenders of various sorts into the stocks, we could punish (and simultaneously shame) male offenders by simply tying them for periods of time to a post set in the middle of public squares. This would satisfy liberals on many levels; punishment of men for having testosterone; ultimate population reduction; reduction of atmospheric CO2 and being killjoys generally. As we know, in the Anglosphere, many locations are identified by some descriptive term followed by “ton”; as in “Appleton” or “Pleasanton”. As a widespread public institution, the places of punishment would warrant adding that “…ton” to the terminology for the punishment.

Therefore, the place of punishment in every town could be officially called…

… the “Huffington Post”.

*Bravissimo! *