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ILuvMy3Angels
Guest
I am new here at Catholic forums. I am quite hesitant to share my problem because of embarrassment about what my mother had done but nevertheless, I know in my heart that I need to do this not to feel better, but to be able to express my emotions which I have kept to myself for several weeks now, and to be able to seek some pieces of advise from some members here in CAF who may have had the same experiences themselves. I apologize if my thread is very long.
I had always been close to my mother. I considered her as my bestfriend. I told her almost everything that happened in my life. I noticed that as I was getting older she would always praise me to the point that even when I made mistakes in my life, she would not bother to tell me that I did something wrong and I needed to correct those mistakes. That made me realize at some point in my life, that she was spoiling me too much.
She denied the fact that I was being spoiled by her. She said she just loved me too much and she didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. NEVER!!! Hmmmm, that made me doubtful of her again. But we remained very close to each other. We were more like sisters.
She and my father had marital problems (financial, emotional) most of the time and when I finally started working (I was already married at that time but with no children yet), my husband and I had frequently helped them financially. That started in 1996. After several years, my hubby and I found out that my parents had been doing drugs and that was the reason why they had been struggling financially for years.
I had forgiven them because I loved them and they’re my parents. But the financial help we had bestowed upon them had affected us greatly. My husband almost left me because of this. When we had our daughters, we were still helping them financially but not as much as we used to before because I was no longer working and just taking care of our children.
Despite of all these, I had remained very close to my mother. By the way, I never mentioned anything about being close to my father. The reason why we never became close was because since I was a child, my mother had told me many negative things about my father. He had cheated on her when I was 7 and had a child with the other woman. My mother had always portrayed herself as the victim and my father as the abuser. I must admit, it was very wrong for me to have judged my father without talking to him and asking him whether everything that my mom had told me against him was true.
It was only until several weeks ago that I had discovered that the great image that my mother had portraid to me for 35 years was the complete opposite of what she really is. Prior to this, I had already been hearing some negative stories from other people about my mother. But because of my great love for her, I disregarded what they said and continued to believe all her LIES.
I found out that my mother had been ruining other people’s lives (including her relatives and in-laws) by making up lies against them, she had multiple affairs in the past and the present one is with a guy who is 12 years younger than me (and the worst part of this is that she and my father are still together and my teenage sister knows about this and thinks that what my mother is doing is ok), my mother did not show love for her parents when they were still alive especially when her mother suffered from Alzheimer’s disease. She never took care of her even for a day (I was very young a that time that’s why I did not recall those events), she had fooled a lot of people, she didn’t get along with almost everyone she knew, and she had been bad-mouthing me with other people. I do have evidences about these things as some of you may ask if I am accurate about the information that I have gotten. Aside from talking with several people, I have done my own investigation, and yes everything I have listed are true.
I am still at lost, and still in disbelief. I cannot seem to forgive her. During the first days that she found out that I knew everythin, she kept on apologizing. But now, it seems like she no longer cares about what she has been doing and does not seem to have remorse for her sins.
I still do love my mother very much. But I do not think I can ever trust and bring back our relationship. I would appreciate any advise anyone can offer. Thank you very much.
I had always been close to my mother. I considered her as my bestfriend. I told her almost everything that happened in my life. I noticed that as I was getting older she would always praise me to the point that even when I made mistakes in my life, she would not bother to tell me that I did something wrong and I needed to correct those mistakes. That made me realize at some point in my life, that she was spoiling me too much.
She denied the fact that I was being spoiled by her. She said she just loved me too much and she didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. NEVER!!! Hmmmm, that made me doubtful of her again. But we remained very close to each other. We were more like sisters.
She and my father had marital problems (financial, emotional) most of the time and when I finally started working (I was already married at that time but with no children yet), my husband and I had frequently helped them financially. That started in 1996. After several years, my hubby and I found out that my parents had been doing drugs and that was the reason why they had been struggling financially for years.
I had forgiven them because I loved them and they’re my parents. But the financial help we had bestowed upon them had affected us greatly. My husband almost left me because of this. When we had our daughters, we were still helping them financially but not as much as we used to before because I was no longer working and just taking care of our children.
Despite of all these, I had remained very close to my mother. By the way, I never mentioned anything about being close to my father. The reason why we never became close was because since I was a child, my mother had told me many negative things about my father. He had cheated on her when I was 7 and had a child with the other woman. My mother had always portrayed herself as the victim and my father as the abuser. I must admit, it was very wrong for me to have judged my father without talking to him and asking him whether everything that my mom had told me against him was true.
It was only until several weeks ago that I had discovered that the great image that my mother had portraid to me for 35 years was the complete opposite of what she really is. Prior to this, I had already been hearing some negative stories from other people about my mother. But because of my great love for her, I disregarded what they said and continued to believe all her LIES.
I found out that my mother had been ruining other people’s lives (including her relatives and in-laws) by making up lies against them, she had multiple affairs in the past and the present one is with a guy who is 12 years younger than me (and the worst part of this is that she and my father are still together and my teenage sister knows about this and thinks that what my mother is doing is ok), my mother did not show love for her parents when they were still alive especially when her mother suffered from Alzheimer’s disease. She never took care of her even for a day (I was very young a that time that’s why I did not recall those events), she had fooled a lot of people, she didn’t get along with almost everyone she knew, and she had been bad-mouthing me with other people. I do have evidences about these things as some of you may ask if I am accurate about the information that I have gotten. Aside from talking with several people, I have done my own investigation, and yes everything I have listed are true.
I am still at lost, and still in disbelief. I cannot seem to forgive her. During the first days that she found out that I knew everythin, she kept on apologizing. But now, it seems like she no longer cares about what she has been doing and does not seem to have remorse for her sins.
I still do love my mother very much. But I do not think I can ever trust and bring back our relationship. I would appreciate any advise anyone can offer. Thank you very much.
