A new beginning: Courage, Faith, Trust, Strength and Suffering

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I struggles with the struggle of James and John, sons of Zebedee. Jesus said to them, “You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the cup that I drink or be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?” They said to him, “We can.” Jesus said to them, “The cup that I drink, you will drink, and with the baptism with which I am baptized, you will be baptized; but to sit at my right or at my left is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been prepared.” When the ten heard this, they became indignat at James and John. Jesus summoned them and said to them, "You know that those who are recognized as rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones make their authority over them felt. But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you will be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you will be the slave of all. For the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many."Mark 10:38-45

Listening to the youtube Zeitun, Egypt message of the Immaculate Heart of Mary daily reminds me of this daily battle to pick up my Cross in my weak, imperfect way seeking Christian perfection and union with Christ. Man Might Become God forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=298405

It is important NOT to wish for visions and revelations. The message posted in this thread by another poster of St. John of the Cross explains clearly why. forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=301085

Its interesting, suffering. I once read an account of someone who prayed for humility. Every day after something extremely humiliating would happen to him. Hopefully, this might help. 🙂 James, a slave of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, to the twelve tribes in the dispersion, greetings. Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. And let perseverance be perfect, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives to all generously and ungrdugingly, and he will be given it. But he should ask in faith, not doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed about by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord, since he is a man of two minds, unstbale in all his ways. The brother in lowly circumstances should take pride in his high standing, and the rich one in his lowliness, for he will pass away “like the flower of the field.” For the sun comes up with its scorching heat and dries up the grass, its flower droops, and the bauty of its appearance vanishes. So will the rich person fade away in the midst of his pursuits. Blessed is the man who perseveres in temptation, for when he has been proved he will receive the crown of life that he promised to those who love him. No one experiencing temptation should say, “I am being tempted by God”; for God is not subject to temptation to evil, and he himself tempts no one. Rather, each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire conceives and brings forth sin, and when sin reaches maturity it gives birth to death.James 1:1-15,

Take care! ❤️

P.S. This thread may help: Wrestling with impure fantasies at night
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=301534 and this Boston miracle done by the intercession of St. Maria Faustina may inspire: thedivinemercy.org/news/story.php?NID=3204

P.P.S. Pictures of the saints might also help so that they seem less intimidating, purposely including the ones where they are not in their nun clothing.

St. Therese of Liseux, including one where she dressed up as Joan of Arc http://www.visionsofjesuschrist.com/weeping367.jpg
http://conservation.catholic.org/therese-pose-web.jpg
http://this.is/endless/images-therese/therese.jpg
http://www.oyemagazine.org/files/imce/St__Therese_of_Lisieux.jpg

St. Maria Faustina


St. Katharine Drexel
http://www.smis1902.org/about/images/Drexel1_230.jpg

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immacualte Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world!

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee and those who don’t!
Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us!

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *
 
St. Maria Faustina and the Divine Mercy Image
http://thedivinemercy.org/assets/images/ministries/eadm/hawaiian_group.jpg

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *

Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse. Come Holy Spirit, come by means of the powerful intercession of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, your well beloved spouse.

For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world! For the sake of his sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world!

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee and those who do not!
Sorrowful and Immacualte Heart of Mary, pray for us!

*Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the fruit of Thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. *
 
I wanted to share something with you. Michaelangelo was a Renaissance artist who painted the Sistine Chapel and sculpted the Pieta, Christ broken, dead, and bruised in his mother’s arms. You’ve heard of him surely. 😛 He also had a “monk-like chastity” and wrote 300 poems/sonnets to a much younger man and later carried on a spiritualized/intellectual friendship or more perhaps with a woman much later in life. Maybe it takes this sort of suffering to truly emphathize with Christ dead on the Cross. Others of us may emphatize with the agony in the Garden or the Carrying of the Cross but not so closely with the Crucifixion and Death as you may emphatize.

When you worry about if God loves you and if you are worth loving, try to think about Michaelangelo, who may be considered by some, such as myself, to be one of the greatest artists of all time. Think about how Harriet Beecher Stowe wrote Uncle Tom’s Cabin and this book significantly contributed to the American Civil War that ended slavery. Think about St. John of the Cross and the fact that in Dark Night of the Soul he is the spouse, usually female, to a male bridegroom, Christ.

Maybe try to think of homosexuality as a condition like anorexia nervosa or bulimia instead of with the intensity that you think of it now.

And perhaps reflect on this passage of Scripture and the word eunuch and little children.He said in reply, “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.”
They said to him, “Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismss (her)?”
He said to them, “Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery.”
[His] disciples said to him, “If that is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”
He answered, “Not all can accept [this] word, but only those to whom that is granted.
Some are incapable of marriage because they were born so; some, because they were made so by others; some, because they have renounced marriage for the kingdom of heaven. Whoever can accept this ought to accept it.”
Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked them, but Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” After he placed his hands on them, he went away. Matthew 19:4-15

With your new boyfriend, try not to use him to figure out if you can be straight. Try to learn to love him unconditionally and stay completely honest about yourself. My pastor told me that before marriage the other person should thoroughly know you and you should know the other person thoroughly. It’s only fair to have complete information before making a decision and it may help you feel better as well to not be completely in hiding anymore.

You remain in my prayers. ❤️

Please forgive me for any insensitivity to homosexuality.

 
dear sister,
sometimes I wonder too why I’m spiritually attacked so much. I’ve been depressed as well. ugh it’s really hard sometimes, I know HUGS. One thing that helped me is realizing that God doesn’t blame us for suffering, He is with us, and …blessed are those who weep, for they shall be comforted. All the great Saints, they all suffered so much in many cases more than any of us. Think of Mary’s sorrow when she saw her Son being crucified. We just need to ask for strength to bear our crosses and if we share in Christ’s suffering we will share in His joy also.

Sometimes it’s really hard to go through trials when we get too focused on ourselves. This doesn’t mean that we’re usually really selfish people. It’s just that it IS hard to look beyond the suffering when it’s going on. But I’ve found that it’s really worth it… not thinking of your own sinfulness or weakness but just running to God and trusting in His mercy… remember, you are His beloved child, of course He will show you love and mercy! St Faustina said, when she’s faced with something too big for her, she doesn’t examine it but comes to Jesus and says “You can do all things…” and then instead of worrying, spends that time loving Him. Of course this is not easy to do, and if you ever struggle with trusting God, remember that most people do. Just ask Him to increase your trust.

God bless you!

monica
 
another thing… when I read your post I got the impression that you do WANT to please God and to love Him…sis the intention is what counts!! You will not hurt Jesus by failing if with all your heart you want to improve and be better… He looks at our intentions, and if the execution of those intentions is all wrong, well we should rely on Him and over time it will get better. What He wants is for us to WILL to love Him, and He will accomplish the rest. Don’t carry such a heavy burden upon yourself. Of course we are imperfect, that is why we need a Savior. As long as we want to love Jesus, He is pleased, and it is He who gives us the grace to actually put that into our actions… and then, all we do is cooperate with His grace. It’s a whole journey, not an instant thing. And of course God sees everything that makes it difficult for us to practice virtue. He is aware of those things. He just wants us to try our best, whatever our best happens to be, and He’ll take our weak efforts the full way and make them bear fruit. He is the Vine, we are the branches.

Rely also on Mary because she helps us a lot with this.

God bless
 
i have begun to read Divine Mercy in my Soul, and now that my sanity has been restored, i think i’ll be able to read it without breaking down and wondering why i’m not special/good enough for similar experiences.
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oh sis if you ever feel this way again, try to keep this in mind - God uses each person in different ways. He gave these experiences to St Faustina because He wanted to use her to bring His mercy to souls. But there are GREAT Saints out there who never had any visions or awesome spiritual experiences!!! Holiness is not found in experiences, it is found in our love for God. St Therese spent much of her life doing little things like decorating statues with flowers and helping her sisters at her convent, and didn’t really have experiences like these…and now she’s a Doctor of the Church and one of the greatest Saints there is, why; because of her simple childlike trust in God and her pure love for Him. St Bernadette saw Mary, yet that’s not why she became a Saint, but because of her patience during her trials.

If you feel bad now that you’re not that patient during suffering and if you don’t love God enough, well, this is a journey 🙂 people don’t become Saints in a day. As long as you want to love Him, He is pleased, and if you’re surrendered to His will, He’ll get you there. What characterized the Saints is that they put His will above their own, and that’s why God was able to do such great things in and through them. NOT because they were more worthy, but because of their obedience. We’re all called to obedience and love and humility. We should ask God for these virtues, and we should have a strong devotion to the Eucharist and to Mary, because it is through them that the Saints received the grace to grow so much.

St Therese said, that she wants to be a Saint, but when she compares herself to them, she feels like a little grain of sand. If you feel much lower than the Saints, that is not a bad thing. It’s just humility 🙂 and what really helps is trusting God in spite of our weakness and smallness. In fact, God can do much more in little souls who feel repentant for their past sins; He wants us to be like little children… if you realize that you NEED God, all is well. Remember St Paul said…he rejoices in his weaknesses? 🙂
 
i feel so ashamed comparing myself to this amazing saint – i can only pray to become like her one day – but when i read of her suffering, it sounds very much like mine. i feel like i’m much older than sixteen sometimes, not only because of my past darkness, but because of what i have to struggle through every day. the thread on how disabilities affect one’s spiritual life made me want to cry, because i am just so ashamed. i feel like a terrible Christian and a disappointment to God because of all the ways i don’t trust in Him enough, and i don’t endure suffering well at all.
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sometimes I feel older than my age too. lol!
Don’t think that you’re a disappointment to God. He knows everything about us…He KNOWS all our weaknesses…we can’t surprise Him with our shortcomings or sins! He loves us despite them all. With time, you’ll learn how to endure trials and to trust God. I’m sure the fact that you recognize the value of this pleases Him very much. Most people don’t. Sis I see His grace working in you even though you say all these things about yourself; look God called you and you responded to His call, you believe in Him,. you want to grow, that’s already a lot. Don’t be ashamed, but come to God and say “You can do all things”.
is there any way i can endure this suffering for the sake of the souls in Purgatory, or offer it up to Jesus, joining it with His on the Cross? if any of you have any information or resources on how i can grow stronger and holier through suffering, and endure it for God’s glory, i would very much appreciate it.
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YES you can do this. In fact, this is what gives suffering meaning. That’s how God takes something bad (suffering) and turns it to good (sanctification, and good for other souls). We can unite our suffering to the Cross and offer it to the Father, and then God will use it. I’ll try to find some good links for you.

btw, we can offer ANY suffering up. It doesn’t have to be something great. It can be even something small like a little annoyance.
i am very glad to tell you that the depression seems to be over, and i am more committed than ever to restoring my faith and working on finding hope and healing in Jesus. i don’t know why i suffer like this, but it must be for a reason, and i do have enough trust in God to know that He will never give me more than i can handle, and that He knows what He is doing with me. i just can’t help but feel that He’s angry with me when i don’t trust in Him, or when i think of myself as worthless. i don’t want to disappoint Him, and i don’t want to make Jesus suffer because of my own weakness. after reading bits and pieces so far of Sister Faustina’s diary, i know that what i struggle with is a huge obstacle to holiness – and please, i’m desperately asking for your help. any resources and/or advice – i would truly appreciate it, also, if you could keep me in your prayers. i feel selfish asking for prayers when it’s my own fault that i suffer this way, but i know that i can’t do this alone, and i trust that all of you on here will help and support me through this. maybe this is God’s way of purifying me to answer my prayer of becoming a saint. i don’t know. all i know is that something deep within me desperately needs to change, and that i can’t make this change alone. i need your help.
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I will pray for you hugs
I’m glad the depression is over.
The more you’ll learn to trust God, the less hopeless you’ll feel during times of suffering, but as I said it’s a journey to get there. God helps us with His grace though, we are not alone.
You said that you have prayed to be a Saint. I can just tell you from experience that once we say a prayer like this, even if we don’t say anything but have the desire in our hearts to be more holy, - there will be struggles. Sometimes we won’t see the light at the end of the tunnel either. Sometimes God will seem far. But that’s where faith comes in. He is NEVER far. Really remember this sis. Jesus felt abandoned by the Father on the Cross…when He needed Him most! Sometimes God takes away any consolations or feelings of His presence, and then if we STILL want to obey His will, that really advances us in holiness. Because of course when God feels near we’re ready to do anything for Him. Remember, no matter how it feels like, He never ever leaves us, He is always the same, if you feel He is angry with you, it does not mean that He is. He might actually be pleased with you instead. This is how we learn BLIND faith…faith that trusts in Him, despite all appearances.

and - don’t ever feel selfish for asking for prayers!! there is nothing bad in that at all.

if you want to learn to trust God more… I suggest spending time just thinking about His love and who He is to you… think of His suffering on the Cross… but above all, pray for more trust. Say a novena for this, don’t just pray for 1 day.

Also, do you have a spiritual director? (sorry if you’ve mentioned this before…)

another random thought I have…lol…I said in my other post that it helps to not focus too much on yourself when you’re suffering in some way. One way to achieve this is to go and do small acts of charity towards neighbour. Just do whatever you can. Doesn’t have to be big. Remember, it’s our love that counts. It’s love that gives our works value. Smile at someone who’s looking sad. Help mom with chores. Encourage a friend. Really, anything.
 
maybe this might help 🙂

fisheaters.com/offeringitup.html

freewebs.com/wallmell/LiguoriPracticeLove2.htm

remember that we need God to give us the strength to endure suffering. How is this accomplished? I think it has a lot to do with Sacraments. Receive Communion as often as you can. When you cant, go to Adoration and make an act of Spiritual Communion. (do you know this prayer?). Adoration really gives us strength…especially when we’re near the Eucharist, not at the very back of the room (I dont know why but that’s how it is for me LOL). Go to confession. Wear sacramentals. PRAY. We can’t live the Christian life without prayer. Develop a strong devotion to Mary. Ask the Saints to pray for you. Read Scripture. That’s just a whole bunch of examples of what you can do lol. Do whatever you can. It’s not about how MUCH we do, but how well we do it. It’s better to say 1 Rosary well than 10 Rosaries badly.
Also, find devotions to do that help you. There are so many good ones in the Church. My favourites are: Divine Mercy, Sacred Heart, and meditating on Christ’s Passion. All these things give us more strength over time.

also, as difficult as it is, try to thank God for your trials. Then it’s more difficult for the devil to tempt us to despair.

finally, pray for others who are suffering, this helps us remember that we’re not alone. Sometimes what I do is I say the Divine Mercy chaplet for “the person who is suffering the most right now in the world”. It helps me take my mind of my own struggles 🙂

check this out:
freewebs.com/wallmell/LiguoriMaxims.htm
 
here are some quotes by St Bernadette that are related to suffering (and there are some that are not, but I just thought they are good). She is very saintly, we can learn a lot from her. She herself suffered a lot on earth. Remember, the way of the cross is the surest one to Heaven… so don’t feel like you’re going through all this because you did something wrong. Maybe God is just allowing this to teach you how to trust Him (we only learn in trials! we learn to trust when it’s difficult to trust, not when it’s easy) and wants to take you further in holiness. But don’t ever think that He likes to see us suffer, no He is just allowing all this so that we’ll have the much greater eternal happiness with Him someday. And there ARE also many times when He takes our trials away and heals us!!! It’s never suffering for the sake of suffering, don’t forget that. In *itself *it is bad. But Christ sanctified it through the Cross.

“Jesus gives all to those who surrender all”

“the more obstacles there are to my love, the stronger it becomes. it is my one and only possession - even if i were tormented day and night, no one would take it away from my soul. the more i suffer, the more i will draw close to His Heart”
try to think about the love that is in His Heart for us sis)

“i must work with all my strength to destroy self love and self interest”

“O Mary, my good Mother, help me follow your example to be generous in every sacrifice Our Lord may ask of me during my life”

“O Divine Jesus, impress on my heart a disposition like that of a certain man who loved your cross so much that he used to say if after serving you for a hundred years his only recompense were the grace to suffer one hour for love of You, he would believe all his service too well rewarded”

“i must die to myself continually and accept trials without complaining. i work, i suffer, and i love with no other witness than His Heart. … It is in loving the Cross that one discovers His Heart, for divine love does not exist without suffering”

“O Jesus and Mary, let my entire consolation in this world be to love you and to suffer for sinners”

“how beautiful the heavenly crown will be for those who are genuinely humble despite outward humiliations, those who follow the humility of the Savior in every way”

“nothing else matters to me anymore, nothing has any value for me but Jesus, no place, no thing, no person, no idea, no feeling, no honour, no suffering, nothing can turn me away from Jesus. For me, Jesus Himself is my honour, my delight, my heart, my spirit, He whom I love, what i love, my home, Heaven here on earth. Jesus is my treasure and my love and Jesus crucified is my only happiness”

“for the greater glory of God, the important thing is not to do many things, but to do all things well” (ie: with love :))

“O my God, if i cannot shed my blood and give my life for You, may i at least die to all that displeases You: sin, earthly desires, desires of the flesh, the world and myself. Cross of my Savior, holy Cross, Cross worthy of adoration, in you alone are my strength, my hope, and my joy. You are the tree of life, the mysterious ladder that unites earth to Heaven, the altar on which i want to sacrifice myself by dying with Jesus.”

(Mary) “whatever trials the Lord sends you, whatever sacrifices He asks of you, whatever duties He imposes on you, always have this response of love and faithfulness on your lips and in your heart: Here’s your servant, O my God, ready to undertake all, to give all, to sacrifice all, to offer up all, as long as Your will may be accomplished in me and on all the earth”

(quoting St Ephrem) “on the last day, all our virtues will be tested by fire. only humility will be able to withstand it”.

(advice given by her priest) “have no fear. always stay very close to Our Lord, present in the Tabernacle. be completely absorbed by devotion to Him there and never let go. pray that the Holy Virgin will keep you well hidden there. consider this good Master. He suffers so much in silence. Even though He could easily reduce this suffering to nothingness, He does not move”

“you must carry your cross hidden in your heart as Mary did. place yourself in the heart of Mary and remain there. make it your home on earth”.

“however good our intentions may be, it is always wrong to go against God’s will, it is always an illusion and a mistake”

“it is not important to do many things or extraordinary things, it is only important to do God’s will…but it is not enough just to do God’s will, i want to love doing God’s holy will more than anything in the world”

“For Jesus to increase, i must decrease. His presence increases in proportion to how much i decrease”

“my crown in heaven should shine with innocence and its flowers should be as radiant as the sun. sacrifices are the flowers Jesus and Mary chose. i must be a victim, that is to say, i should live sacrificially every day as Jesus and Mary did”

“why is He so little in me? it is because i am not little enough, not humble enough”
 
One day, I saw two roads. One was broad, covered with sand and flowers, full of joy, music and all sorts of pleasures. People walked along it, dancing and enjoying themselves. They reached the end without realising it. And at the end of the roads there was a horrible precipice; that is the abyss of hell. The souls fell blindly into it; as they walked, so they fell. And their number was so great that it was impossible to count them. And I saw the other road, or rather, a path, for it was narrow and strewn with thorns and rocks; and the people who walked along it had tears in their eyes, and all kinds of suffering befell them. Some fell down upon the rocks, but stood up immediately and went on. At the end of the road there was a magnificent garden filled with all sorts of happiness, and all these souls entered there. At the very first instant they forgot all their sufferings.
(Divine Mercy in My Soul, St Faustina)

“In order to heal us, He does not remain outside the suffering that is experienced, He eases it by coming to dwell with the one stricken by illness, to bear it and to live with him. Christ’s presence comes to break the isolation which pain induces. Man no longer bears his burden alone. As a suffering member of Christ, he is conformed to Christ in his self-offering to the father.”
Pope Benedict

some quotes…
 
I’ve found this litany helpful, although it’s SOO long, sorry… 😉 it’s good to use to meditate on Christ’s own suffering. Remember we’ll never go through anything more than what He endured for love of us!!
also the stations of the cross is good.

Lord, have mercy
Christ, have mercy
Lord, have mercy

Christ, hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.

God the Father of heaven,have mercy on us.

God the Son, Redeemer of the world, have mercy on us.
God the Holy Spirit, have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, one God, have mercy on us.
Jesus, the eternal Wisdom, have mercy on us.
Jesus, conversing with men, have mercy on us.
Jesus, hated by the world, have mercy on us.
Jesus, sold for thirty pieces of silver, have mercy on us.
Jesus, prostrate in prayer, have mercy on us.
Jesus, strengthened by an angel, have mercy on us.
Jesus, agonizing in a bloody sweat, have mercy on us.
Jesus, betrayed by Judas with a kiss, have mercy on us.
Jesus, bound by the soldiers, have mercy on us.
Jesus, forsaken by your disciples, have mercy on us.
Jesus, before Annas and Caiaphas, have mercy on us.
Jesus, struck by a servant on the face, have mercy on us.
Jesus, accused by false witnesses, have mercy on us.
Jesus, declared worthy of death, have mercy on us.
Jesus, spit upon in the face, have mercy on us.
Jesus, blindfolded, have mercy on us.
Jesus, smitten on the cheek, have mercy on us.
Jesus, thrice denied by Peter, have mercy on us.
Jesus, delivered up to Pilate, have mercy on us.
Jesus, despised and mocked by Herod, have mercy on us.
Jesus, clothed in a white garment, have mercy on us.
Jesus, rejected for Barabbas, have mercy on us.
Jesus, torn by sources, have mercy on us.
Jesus, bruised for our sins, have mercy on us.
Jesus, regarded as a leper, have mercy on us.
Jesus, covered with a purple robe, have mercy on us.
Jesus, crowned with thorns, have mercy on us.
Jesus, struck with a reed, have mercy on us.
Jesus, demanded for crucifixion, have mercy on us.
Jesus, condemned to death, have mercy on us.
Jesus, given up to your enemies, have mercy on us.
Jesus, laden with the Cross, have mercy on us.
Jesus, led as a lamb to the slaughter, have mercy on us.
Jesus, stripped of your garmenets, have mercy on us.
Jesus, fastened with nails to the Cross, have mercy on us.
Jesus, wounded for our iniquities, have mercy on us.
Jesus, praying for your murderers, have mercy on us.
Jesus, reputed with the wicked, have mercy on us.
Jesus, blasphemed on the Cross, have mercy on us.
Jesus, reviled by the malefactor, have mercy on us.
Jesus, giving Paradise to the thief, have mercy on us.
Jesus, commending Saint John to your Mother as her son, have mercy on us.
Jesus, forsaken by your Father, have mercy on us.
Jesus, given gall and vinegar to drink, have mercy on us.
Jesus, testifying that all things written concerning you were accomplished, have mercy on us.
Jesus, commending your spirit into the hands of your Father, have mercy on us.
Jesus, obedient even unto death, have mercy on us.
Jesus, pierced with a lance, have mercy on us.
Jesus, made a propiation for us, have mercy on us.
Jesus, taken down from the Cross, have mercy on us.
Jesus, laid in a sepulcher, have mercy on us.
Jesus, rising gloriously from the dead, have mercy on us.
Jesus, ascending into heaven, have mercy on us.
Jesus, our Advocate with the Father, have mercy on us.
Jesus, sending down the Holy Spirit, have mercy on us.
Jesus, exalting your Mother, have mercy on us.
Jesus, who shall come to judge the living and the dead, have mercy on us.

Be merciful,
spare us, O Lord.
Be merciful,
graciously hear us, O Lord.

From all evil, deliver us, O Jesus.
From all sin, deliver us, O Jesus.
From anger, hatred, and every evil will,deliver us, O Jesus.
From war, famine, and pestilence, deliver us, O Jesus.
From all dangers of mind and body, deliver us, O Jesus.
From everlasting death,deliver us, O Jesus.
Through your most pure conception,deliver us, O Jesus.
Through your miraculous nativity,deliver us, O Jesus.
Through your humble circumcision,deliver us, O Jesus.
Through your baptism and fasting,deliver us, O Jesus.
Through your labors and watchings,deliver us, O Jesus.
Through your cruel scourging and crowning,deliver us, O Jesus.
Through your thirst, and tears, and nakedness,deliver us, O Jesus.
Through your precious death and Cross,deliver us, O Jesus.
Through your glorious resurrection and ascension,deliver us, O Jesus.
Through your sending forth the Holy Spirit, the Paraclete,deliver us, O Jesus.

On the day of judgment, we sinners, we beseech you, hear us.
That you would spare us,we beseech you, hear us.
That you would pardon us, we beseech you, hear us.
That you would bring us to true penance,we beseech you, hear us.
That you would pour into our hearts the grace of the Holy Spirit,we beseech you, hear us.
That you would defend and propagate your Church,we beseech you, hear us.
That you would preserve and increase all societies assembled in your holy Name,we beseech you, hear us.
That you would bestow upon us true peace, humility, and charity,we beseech you, hear us.
That you would give us perseverance in grace and in your holy service,we beseech you, hear us.
That you would deliver us from unclean thoughts, the temptations of the devil, and everlasting damnation,we beseech you, hear us.
That you would unite us to the company of your Saints,we beseech you, hear us.
That you would graciously hear us,we beseech you, hear us.

Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world;spare us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world;graciously hear us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world;have mercy on us.
Christ hear us.
Christ, graciously hear us.
Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.

We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you, because by your holy Cross you have redeemed the world.
 
and finally, 🙂 (sorry i’m typing so much lol)
if you ever feel like God is angry with you because of your sins… personally, this helped me:

“Nothing can so terrify us, as much as Jesus Christ can reassure us. Let my sins surround me, let my fears of the future accuse me, let the demons lay their snares for me. As long as I beg mercy of Jesus Christ, who is all kindness, who has loved me even until death, I cannot lose confidence; for I see myself so highly prized that a God gave Himself for me.
My Jesus, safe haven for those who seek you out in the storm; my vigilant shepherd, those who do not trust You are deceiving themselves, if only they have the will to amend their lives. That is why You said: Here I am, don’t be afraid: I am He who troubles and who consoles. Sometimes I put persons in scenes of desolation that seem like hell; but then I pull them out and console them. I am your advocate; I have made your cause My own. I am your guarantor; I have come to pay your debts. I am your Lord, who redeemed you with My blood, not to abandon you, but to enrich you, having ransomed you at a great price. **How shall I flee from those who seek Me, when I went forth to meet those who sought to outrage Me? I did not turn away My face from those who struck Me; and shall I turn it from those who would adore Me? How can My children doubt that I love them, seeing Me in the hands of My enemies out of love for them? Whom have I ever despised that loved Me? Whom have I ever abandoned that sought my help? I go out in search even of those who do not seek Me.”**John of Avila
 
Keeping Alison in prayer… She’s a very courageous and faithful Soul…
 
The title of your post reminded me of something that I hope will assist you. Courage, faith and trust can come more fully and easily when we Know Him. Therefore, think of how Jesus may want you to travel down this path:

Get to Know Him more fully. By knowing Him more fully you will then be able to…

Love Him more completely. A deeper love then leads to…

Total Faith in Him. When you have this faith generated by love you will gain…

Great Trust in Him. With this trust then comes…

Courage and Strength.

So, get to know Him. How? Sit with Him in Adoration. Read the Gospels. Once you’ve read them, read them again…and again. Pray without ceasing. Finally, practice His presence with you always.
 
🙂 Dear Alison, Have you seen how close you move towards our Lord because of this suffering and how much you become like him. Don’t give up. There is a great spiritual classic you can read that will help you abandon yourself to God with complete trust and thus have peace of mind in these trials.
Self-Abandonment To Divine Providence
By: Rev. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

tanbooks.com/shop_image/product/self1048.jpg https://www.tanbooks.com/shop_image/design/spacer.gif Self-Abandonment To Divine Providence. Probably the greatest classic on surrendering our wills to Divine Providence (God’s will). Filled with beautiful, penetrating insights, an incredibly rich store of Catholic wisdom. Shows how sanctity is to be attained amidst our common daily activities when performed to perfection and for the love of God. Written to help those who despair of ever becoming holy. A great and famous classic! 449 pgs, PB

Price: $22.50

From - tanbooks.com/index.php/page/shop:flypage/product_id/265/keywords/abandonment+divine+providence/

I will continue praying for you too:)
 
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