A non-Catholic with a Catholic Marriage Sacrament question.

[Sarahforgiven]

Wow, so much information. I do appreciate it very much.

First let me say that I do not feel mis-infromed, because I am trying to learn more about the Catholic religon out of curiosity and respect for Catholics. I am a Baptist who respect EVERYONE’s beliefs. But, the more I learn, the more I understand and the curiosity grows and make a lot of sense to me. The lady who was teaching the class was very nice and inviting. Sense I am not Catholic, I can not say she was misinformed, but this was a huge class and a huge Church and no one questioned her class. When I said we had to be married I meant My husband and I. She said that my husband and I needed to be married to be the Godparents. That we couldn’t be just together.

Bubblelady- Thank you so much. I was hoping that was not something else I mis-understood. Thank you for the explanation of not being blessed by the Church. That makes alot more sense to me now. I see myself as married. I promised TO God that I would honor my vowels and truely believe that He recognizes my marriage. I now know what it means to Catholics to be blessed by the Church!

You make a lot of sense. It is those who are " in charge" of the baptism who are lost.
I believe you would be correct in not sponsoring this baptism.
God will reveal to you your role

Batfink- That is just the thing. We have done all the paper work, attended the first class and have a date set. This was all before I started to study the meaning of Godparents for Catholics. For us, Godparents are someone whom will assist in raising your child to be a good Christian. Someone who will be able to love the child and want and do what is best for the child. So I figured it was basically the same. That’s why I am here. I wanted to make sure (now I see it is not). All the forms were submitted and excepted. How could that be? I did not lie on anything.

So if I am reading right. We are not supose to me Godparents period. 1- because my Husband is not right by marrying me the right way? and 2 because I am a baptised Baptist (which means I could be a witness only with a Catholic Godparent, just not my husband because he is wrong in the eyes of the Church because of our marriage?)

My oh my. I am begining to think that even a lot of practicing Catholics have this wrong or have a misunderstanding.

Could it be different if this is a Spanish speaking church? I know it shouldn’t be, but it seems to be.

Bookcat- Thank you. I can see some of the reasoning behind your converting to Catholicism. I am just finding this a hard one to comprehend and wish it would be easier. Being taught that we are to live our lives by the Bible is what has got me confused on the marriage sacrament and the baptism. I have went back to my Bible a hundred times over the past couple of weeks looking for these answers. And I usually find all my answers there. It is just very hard for me to accept, per se, a rule of a Church that God Himself did not make. I hope that does not offend anyone. I am not trying to. I just want to understand. I am sure I am missing something. But I do know that just because I was not married in a Cathoilic Church does not mean my marriage is less than or should be ignored by Catholics. How did you overcome things you were taught as a Baptist, that are taught differently as a Catholic.

Oh, to answer a question. My children are raised to be Christains, to believe in God and his word, To live their life by the Bible and to be good respectful people. They attend Baptist church, because that is where I go.

One more question my friends? But I need to state something I realise I didn’t already say and is probably very important. My husband was Baptised as Catholic. He does not go to Church nearly as much as he should. I am really wanting him to. I guess you can consider me a Baptist considering converting into a Catholic, but with some uncertainity. I want more than anything for our family to be united on a religon standpoint. I would love that so much.

I know I should go to the Catholic church and talk to a priest, but how serious would they take me? With my marriage situation and not being sure that Catholic is what I want to be?

I hope I am making sense. I’m sure I am not since I am so confused. Being raised to believe one thing and then seeing that maybe I believe another is kind of scary.

 

[joanofarc2008]

I am coming in very late on this - it is such a shame that so many in teaching positions have absolutely no idea and things slip through the cracks. Any way I just wanted to say welcome and thank you for being so respectful and open and such a caring kind person.

 

[EvelynEVF]

Caseyb27, what fun to read this thread! I’m sorry that you got bad info from the baptism class, but wow, I sure appreciate your respectful inquiry here and your open-hearted/mindedness!

Any priest that you go to who does not take you seriously is missing out bigtime, and i’d hope that you would not be discouraged but just find another priest to talk to! Priests have off-days like all the rest of us, but usually they are very pleased to spend time with a person like you

 

[caseyb27]

Everyone of you all have been very nice and I really appreciate being able to come here and get clarity. I am going through a weird feeling of sort these past few weeks. I feel as if I am being pulled in one direction, but have a feeling of betrayal to my family and upbringing. Questioning things that I once thought were right.

The Catholic Church I attended the Baptism classes at are far away from where I live, but there is one right down the street from me. I plan on sitting in on Mass often and to ask the Priest for some of his time.

I spoke with my Husband last night about how important it is that we are both RIGHT with God even if it ends up that we stay devoted to different religon and I explained how I felt as he has broken many promised he has made to God as a Catholic. He was very surprised at the conversastion and said he has been feeling the same way, but thought if he confronted me I would be offensive and not want to learn more. One thing I am sure of is that I want to make sure he makes good with his promises and not stand in the way of his duties as a Catholic. He was very happy to know that I am trying to learn more about getting our marriage blessed by the Catholic church for him.

I just hope the answers come to me. But I know that by going to Mass and being here doing research that I am well on my way to know what is in store for me and my relationship with God. I just wish the feeling of betrayal wasn’t inside my soul.

 

[caseyb27]

One other thing that I am having trouble with is that I have read a lot about Catholics praying to other people. Like the Virgin Mary. I know I am still VERY uneducated about Cathoilc religon, but I was raised to believe praying to someone other than God is not right. If I told my mom I was praying to The Virgin Mary she would tell me it was a form of whorship and that I was wrong. But I feel now as if it makes sense to pray to her for help with certain things.

I am also working on understanding why my husband believes God and Jesus is one while I believe they are two. I am trying so hard not to be judgemental. And I would never ever disrespect this forum or any of you. I am so glad you all have been so welcoming to me and my curiosity. I was afraid it would have went the other direction and I would have continued to feel pulled and confused.

 

[caseyb27]

oh…and get right on this…one does not have to be Catholic for the (civil) marriage to become a valid marriage (and presuming your validly baptized…a sacrament).

Understood. With the help of this forum. I was baptized as a Baptist.

 

[1ke]

One other thing that I am having trouble with is that I have read a lot about Catholics praying to other people. Like the Virgin Mary. I know I am still VERY uneducated about Cathoilc religon, but I was raised to believe praying to someone other than God is not right. If I told my mom I was praying to The Virgin Mary she would tell me it was a form of whorship and that I was wrong. But I feel now as if it makes sense to pray to her for help with certain things.

Unfortunately, English isn’t very precise. In Greek there are different words for the worship we give to God alone and the worship (i.e. veneration) we give to saints.

See these articles on Dulia, Hyperdulia, and Latria:

newadvent.org/cathen/05188b.htm

newadvent.org/cathen/09036a.htm

I am also working on understanding why my husband believes God and Jesus is one while I believe they are two.

I’m not clear on what you mean. God is a Trinity of persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. One God, Three Persons.

Jesus is God.

 

[Bookcat]

One other thing that I am having trouble with is that I have read a lot about Catholics praying to other people. Like the Virgin Mary. I know I am still VERY uneducated about Cathoilc religon, but I was raised to believe praying to someone other than God is not right. If I told my mom I was praying to The Virgin Mary she would tell me it was a form of whorship and that I was wrong. But I feel now as if it makes sense to pray to her for help with certain things.

To “pray” does not = “to worship” It means to ask. In British English one might say in some formal settings “I pray thee…” meaning I ask …

There is a communion of those who are “in Christ” …they are joined in love in him. Just as we ask those on earth to pray for us we can ask those in heaven to pray for us. As Scripture says the prayer of a just man avails much…and those already with Christ in heaven have been purified like gold…

God does not wish our love to stop …but wants those who have gone before us…the cloud of witnesses that Scripture talks about…to still love us and pray for us…like a family. Just as God does not “need” you to pray for me…it is good for you to pray for me…and he may will to grant me some grace from your prayers…same goes for those who have gone before us. Love and prayer does not stop with death.

We adore (how modern english uses worship) God alone.

We honor in various ways…Our Lady, the Saints, the Martyrs, our parents etc

As for God:

God is one God…but three persons.

The Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

The Father is God

The Son is God

The Holy Spirit is God

But the Father is not the Son nor is the Son the Spirit or the Spirit the Father etc

There is one God but three divine persons…

 

[joanofarc2008]

I am also working on understanding why my husband believes God and Jesus is one while I believe they are two. I am trying so hard not to be judgemental. And I would never ever disrespect this forum or any of you. I am so glad you all have been so welcoming to me and my curiosity. I was afraid it would have went the other direction and I would have continued to feel pulled and confused.

I think you should find the articles that the poster above included on the Saints helpful. As far as this question - this is one of the reasons I like the wording so much better on the new translation of the Creed that will be released (or more so rereleased) this Advent. It speaks of Christ being consubstantial with the Father. This means that Christ and the Father while being two seperate physical entities are one spiritual entity - that is they are both God which is One. I am making that really basic and I hope that still remains clear - but I really love the language on the new translation because I think it makes things like this so much clearer.

 

[Bookcat]

I would not describe God the Father and the Son as “separate physical entities”…for anyhow the word consubstantial is certainly important…

1. In what way is Jesus Christ true God and true man?

464-467
469

Jesus is inseparably true God and true man in the unity of his divine Person. As the Son of God, who is “begotten, not made, consubstantial with the Father,” he was made true man, our brother, without ceasing to be God, our Lord.

Compendium of the Catechism

The Son is begotten …not made…of the same substance as the Father…

of course he then became Man without ceasing to be of God…so he is true God and true Man.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

Everyone of you all have been very nice and I really appreciate being able to come here and get clarity. I am going through a weird feeling of sort these past few weeks. I feel as if I am being pulled in one direction, but have a feeling of betrayal to my family and upbringing. Questioning things that I once thought were right.

The Catholic Church I attended the Baptism classes at are far away from where I live, but there is one right down the street from me. I plan on sitting in on Mass often and to ask the Priest for some of his time.

I spoke with my Husband last night about how important it is that we are both RIGHT with God even if it ends up that we stay devoted to different religon and I explained how I felt as he has broken many promised he has made to God as a Catholic. He was very surprised at the conversastion and said he has been feeling the same way, but thought if he confronted me I would be offensive and not want to learn more. One thing I am sure of is that I want to make sure he makes good with his promises and not stand in the way of his duties as a Catholic. He was very happy to know that I am trying to learn more about getting our marriage blessed by the Catholic church for him.

I just hope the answers come to me. But I know that by going to Mass and being here doing research that I am well on my way to know what is in store for me and my relationship with God. I just wish the feeling of betrayal wasn’t inside my soul.

Go, learn with an open heart…pray for God’s guidance. If He is pulling you to the Catholic church then that is not a betrayal…it’s God’s will. If He is not…well at least you understand more about your husbands Church…no? I can tell you I had a lot of misconceptions about the Church…but I went in with an open mind…and couldn’t be happier with my choice. It’s where God wants me to be. It’s not about family loyalty…its about truth and your relationship with God…He must come first.

As far a mother Mary…well we don’t pray to her…we ask for her intercession…

Holy Mary, Mother of God…pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.

I ask my husband and friends to pray for me…why would I not ask my mother?

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

Understood. With the help of this forum. I was baptized as a Baptist.

I’m pretty sure that counts…it has to be a water baptism and in the trinitarian formula.

 

[Bookcat]

Understood. With the help of this forum. I was baptized as a Baptist.

You would review how you were baptized with the Priest etc

Baptist Baptism is usually recognized as valid…

sometimes there needs to be a private conditional baptism if there is doubt.

 

[caseyb27]

I can not express how it makes me feel that everyone is so open in helping me in my journey. Whatever that might be. I appreciate it more than I can express.

 

[caseyb27]

Unfortunately, English isn’t very precise. In Greek there are different words for the worship we give to God alone and the worship (i.e. veneration) we give to saints.

See these articles on Dulia, Hyperdulia, and Latria:

newadvent.org/cathen/05188b.htm

newadvent.org/cathen/09036a.htm

I’m not clear on what you mean. God is a Trinity of persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. One God, Three Persons.

Jesus is God.

Thank you! I will review the links tonight! What I meant by I was taught that God and Jesus are not one is that I was taught that God is Jesus’s Father. And Jesus was God’s SON. 2 different people. Not 1 in any form. I was taught that God created Jesus to help spread the faith and His word, but that God was not Jesus. I look forward to reading the links tonight.

 

[caseyb27]

I think you should find the articles that the poster above included on the Saints helpful. As far as this question - this is one of the reasons I like the wording so much better on the new translation of the Creed that will be released (or more so rereleased) this Advent. It speaks of Christ being consubstantial with the Father. This means that Christ and the Father while being two seperate physical entities are one spiritual entity - that is they are both God which is One. I am making that really basic and I hope that still remains clear - but I really love the language on the new translation because I think it makes things like this so much clearer.

This explanation helps a lot. Thank you so much. It helps me understand what Catholics mean when they say is One!

Anabell and Bookcat- Thank you too for the explanation of pray verses worship. I am now sure that it is my husband his is way of praying that confuses me.

May I ask? My husband is a Catholic from Mexico and they pray to Guadalupe very often. To the point that I confused it as whorship and to be truthful it was the main reason that I was so childish to the thought of learning about the Religon. My question is…Is Guadalupe The Virgin Mary? If I am reading right, that seems to be so. Although my husband and his family believe that is not true. And is it normal for most Catholics to pray so much to her or is that a cultural thing?

Thank you all again. This is helping more than I can explain. Everyday I feel better about my decision to follow whatever it is that is pulling me. I wish I would have opened my eyes and heart earlier. I think I have been missing out on so much.

 

[joanofarc2008]

This explanation helps a lot. Thank you so much. It helps me understand what Catholics mean when they say is One!

Anabell and Bookcat- Thank you too for the explanation of pray verses worship. I am now sure that it is my husband his is way of praying that confuses me.

May I ask? My husband is a Catholic from Mexico and they pray to Guadalupe very often. To the point that I confused it as whorship and to be truthful it was the main reason that I was so childish to the thought of learning about the Religon. My question is…Is Guadalupe The Virgin Mary? If I am reading right, that seems to be so. Although my husband and his family believe that is not true. And is it normal for most Catholics to pray so much to her or is that a cultural thing?

Thank you all again. This is helping more than I can explain. Everyday I feel better about my decision to follow whatever it is that is pulling me. I wish I would have opened my eyes and heart earlier. I think I have been missing out on so much.

The Lady of Guadalupe was a vision of the Virgin Mary that appeared and actually imprinted herself onto a fabric. It is said that she will keep reappearing until abortion is ended. During the time when she appeared it was to end human sacrifice as it was practiced in that area. She appeared again the day abortion was legalized in Mexico. There have been many miracles and occurrences associated with her. She is by far one of the most powerful pro-life images/miracles/saints (depending on whether you are talking about the actual Lady or the material that is left today that is taken around to abortion centers in protest) in Christianity.

catholic.org/about/guadalupe.php

 

[PJM]

=caseyb27;7643396]Hello everyone. First I want to say how much I have learned so far from reading the questions and answers on this forum. I was raised as a Baptist. As I am getting older, I am becoming more and more curious about religon. I married a Catholic man. We were married in civil court and not in church. This marriage is regonized by my church and by law. All of my husbands family are also Catholic and it has never been a problem. We have 2 children together. Recently we have been asked to be Godparents by 2 different people. It has sparked an intrest in me. Before I take such an important role I wanted to know what it was all about. I have done much research. These couples are going to raise their children as Catholics and it is very important to me that I have a clear understanding.

I am very confused. I attended Church with them a few times so far and we have taken the first class required by the Church before the Baptisism is preformed. It was mentioned there that the Godparents had to be married and that a civil marriage IS regonized by the church. They explained that eventhough a marriage in the Church is encouraged, that the man and woman getting married are infact the ministers theirselves and that a Preist doesn’t have to be present. All the research I have done I see that a civil marriage is not recognized. But after the class I asked the lady her opinion. She said that as long as we were both Baptised Christians and that we keep our promise to God, then we are OK to be the Godparents.

As I said before I was raised as a Baptist and our beliefs are different. But I also do not want to disrespect anyone elses beliefs or Religon by standing up there at the Baptism if it is wrong. My husband and the couple ensure me that this is the Church’s policy, but the more I read, the more I am confused. I also want to mention that I am very proud to be the Godparents and I do NOT believe that just because I promised to God that I will cherish my marriage in a court room and not in a Church means I will be less of a Godmother. It is an honor to have someone trust me so much to name me Godmother. I just want to feel right about this.

Any insight would be very helpful. Thank you so much.

The Singular and Covenant Role of God-parents are to do everything in there power to insure that the God-child [children] are raised knowing, understanding and LIVING THERE CATHOLIC FAITH. It is a GRAVE obligation not to be taken lightly [YOUR NOT ].

God WILL JUDGE parents and God Parents on howmwell and effectively they have done at this task.

For THIS REASON the CC gives GREAT prefefence to God-parents being themselves Informed, Praticing Roman Catholics. One who is not; simply cannot give what they themselves do not possess.

So dear friend, my advice is NOT TO ACCEPT this role until and unless you too are an I.P.R.C…

If you have other questions; I’d b delighted to answer them for you.

May God continue to Guide and Bless you!

Pat

 

[1ke]

Thank you! I will review the links tonight! What I meant by I was taught that God and Jesus are not one is that I was taught that God is Jesus’s Father. And Jesus was God’s SON. 2 different people. Not 1 in any form. I was taught that God created Jesus to help spread the faith and His word, but that God was not Jesus. I look forward to reading the links tonight.

That’s surprising. Baptists are Trinitarian. They believe as Catholics do, that God is one God in three Persons-- Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Jesus is not created. He is God.

I would really encourage you to get a copy of the US Catechism for Adults and start reading. It’s available online, but I think a hardcopy book might be better for lengthy reading.

 

[caseyb27]

That’s surprising. Baptists are Trinitarian. They believe as Catholics do, that God is one God in three Persons-- Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Jesus is not created. He is God.

I would really encourage you to get a copy of the US Catechism for Adults and start reading. It’s available online, but I think a hardcopy book might be better for lengthy reading.

I’m not sure why I was taught different at my Church. I think that is why I am so confused about all Religons. Even though a Baptist Church should believe and teach basically the same at every Church they obvisiouly do not. And the same with Catholic Church. From the age of 5 until 22 years of age I attended the same Church 3 times a week. I was taught He was not 1. Then at age 22 I started to attend a Church that called themselves Salvationist. Maybe it has something to do with living in a very small country town. When I moved to Houston Tx and joined a Baptist Church here I noticed that somethings were different.

Now I feel like I haven’t had a fair chance in learning.