A non-Catholic with a Catholic Marriage Sacrament question.

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It has been a while since I posted. I took everyones advise to heart. I feel so much better today than I did 5 months ago. I have been on a path of soul searching and I have came to the conclusion that the feeling I get when I am in a Catholic Church I do not get in a Baptist Church. I wish I could explain the feeling but there are no words for it. I made the first step and contacted the church about convalidation. I feel in my heart that doing that should be first. I am awaiting information on R.C.I.A classes. I am very excited about that. My husband is going to take them with me seeing that he has been non-practicing for so long and I feel as if he doesn’t know as much as he should know about The Religion. He agrees that he calls hisself a Catholic because thats what his family is and that was how he was baptised but in reality he has alot to learn just like me.

I can not express how excited I am about this new journey we are about to take. I feel like we are adding strength to the foundation we have created as a family. I believe this is the best thing I can do for my family. I want us all to be on the same page. And by not converting I know that I can not be the best mom and wife that I can be. How could I possibly promise to let my husband raise my kids as Catholics if I am not one myself? How could I answer questions my children will have if I myself am not studying? I thank each one of you from the bottom of my heart.
 
5Loaves said:
They should follow which laws and beliefs? 🙂 The tradition is long standing of multiple “Madrinas” and “Padrinos” in excess of the maximum one male and/or one female Godparent/s (sponsors) allowed by the Canon Law of the Latin Church. All that is necessary is that the clergy who exercise the Sacramento of Holy Baptism in this church know that there is at least one valid sponsor (Godparent) and that the name of that person and only that person (or in the case of one male and one female, those two valid persons) be entered in the Baptismal record.

You can read the Code of Canon Law of the Latin Church that pertain to who may be a Godparent (sponsor). As already was clarified under Can. 874 §2.
and your husband may not be a Godparent because by being in an invlaid marriage he does not “leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on”… which is to say he wouldn’t be a good role model of the faith while in a marriage the Church deems invalid.

It’s entirely possible the people who asked you to be Godparents believe you to be in a valid marriage… and you are under no obligation to tell them otherwise. That is something for you to continue to pursue with the priest. They may not know that you are a “baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community”, i.e. not Catholic so can only be a witness.

As you can see this doesn’t mean that you cannot go on to function for the children as loving guides in their faith life. I would say from what you’ve written that you could be a remarkable model of one who desires to learn more about the teaching of the Church and seeks to conform her life to the teachings. Children are very often the cause of non-Catholics coming into the Church and of Catholics who were Baptized but never confirmed joining the process to complete their Sacraments.

The Holy Spirit may have brought you to this Spanish speaking parish for many reasons. I find that the Spanish speaking communities often continue to preserve many pious devotions which have fallen by the wayside in less “ethnic” parishes. What I love so much about the Eastern Catholic Churches, of which I am a part, is the tremendous richness in our liturgical year and the way we approach each of our 12 Great Feasts. There is some similarity in the richness of the devotions and traditions in the Latino community I often see.

As far as wishing your husband “was more understanding of his own religion” know that sadly the Catholic Church in the US at least, and I think you are here in the US, has done a really lousy job of catechizing its people for a long time now so he is quite in the norm. Fortunately, with Catholic Radio and EWTN and so much available on line and in print now I see Catholics really seeking to understand their tradition more fully.

I thinks it’s very exciting that these couples saw you as faithful and loving Christians they wanted as Godparents. Your life in the parish and in the Church is really being touched by this!

God is with us!
May you continue to be richly blest in your journey of faith. 🙂
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Thank you for your kind words. I know this is late but I wanted to comment. They knew I what religion I was before they asked me. We are very very close. I think it didn’t matter to them because they are also non-practicing. They are also married only in civil court. I really don’t like saying this, but I have noticed that the majority of his family whom claim to be Catholic are only saying it. They were raised that way. I feel like they do the Baptisms because they “have” to. Not for the right reasons. As soon as children are born they start to plan the party and really don’t focus too much on the meaning. It is sad.
 
caseyb27 said:
It has been a while since I posted. I took everyones advise to heart. I feel so much better today than I did 5 months ago. I have been on a path of soul searching and I have came to the conclusion that the feeling I get when I am in a Catholic Church I do not get in a Baptist Church. I wish I could explain the feeling but there are no words for it. I made the first step and contacted the church about convalidation. I feel in my heart that doing that should be first. I am awaiting information on R.C.I.A classes. I am very excited about that. My husband is going to take them with me seeing that he has been non-practicing for so long and I feel as if he doesn’t know as much as he should know about The Religion. He agrees that he calls hisself a Catholic because thats what his family is and that was how he was baptised but in reality he has alot to learn just like me.

I can not express how excited I am about this new journey we are about to take. I feel like we are adding strength to the foundation we have created as a family. I believe this is the best thing I can do for my family. I want us all to be on the same page. And by not converting I know that I can not be the best mom and wife that I can be. How could I possibly promise to let my husband raise my kids as Catholics if I am not one myself? How could I answer questions my children will have if I myself am not studying? I thank each one of you from the bottom of my heart.
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You just made me cry. God bless and good luck.
 
I got the date that I start R.C.I.A today. September 11th. Ironic that it is the 10 year anniversary of the day I was civilly married! And my husband is going with me. I am extra happy!
 
That’s my confirmation anniversary, so I will definitely remember to pray for you!
 
Hello. I know this post is old but I didn’t want to open another one. I have an update and a new question.

I completed RCIA and was confirmed at Easter Vigil. Although my husband decided he wasn’t ready nor willing to go with me I did it.

I am not trying to rush him nor do I want to pressure him but I am not feeling as if I hoped I would after converting. Our marriage is still invalid. The only difference now is that me converting has caused our marriage more harm than good. He was baptized catholic. Confirmed and after he turned 18 he left the church. He still calls hisself a catholic although I call him non-practicing. I want our marriage convalidated. He is not up to classes or meetings. It was not supposed to be this way. :confused:

I want to stress that although this isn’t important to him it is very important to me. Now he’s the one who says how can a church tell me that we aren’t married.

Is there a way to get our marriage blessed although he’s not practicing and is not willing to go to classes? He went to my conformation and I know he would participate in a blessing to make me happy.

We have a civil marriage since sept 11 2001.
 
caseyb27 said:
Hello. I know this post is old but I didn’t want to open another one. I have an update and a new question.

I completed RCIA and was confirmed at Easter Vigil. Although my husband decided he wasn’t ready nor willing to go with me I did it.

I am not trying to rush him nor do I want to pressure him but I am not feeling as if I hoped I would after converting. Our marriage is still invalid. The only difference now is that me converting has caused our marriage more harm than good. He was baptized catholic. Confirmed and after he turned 18 he left the church. He still calls hisself a catholic although I call him non-practicing. I want our marriage convalidated. He is not up to classes or meetings. It was not supposed to be this way. :confused:

I want to stress that although this isn’t important to him it is very important to me. Now he’s the one who says how can a church tell me that we aren’t married.

Is there a way to get our marriage blessed although he’s not practicing and is not willing to go to classes? He went to my conformation and I know he would participate in a blessing to make me happy.

We have a civil marriage since sept 11 2001.
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I’m confused. How did you get Confirmed in the Church if you were not in a valid marriage? :confused:

I assume you were working with a priest in RCIA - are you not continuing to meet with him to work on the convalidation? Honestly, the complexity or simplicity of the convalidation depends a lot on the priest. If the priest you are working with is giving you a whole lot of red tape and run-around, ask around and see if you can find a priest who is easier to work with. Of course you also have to be willing to work with him, and get your part of the paperwork done quickly - never let any piece of paper sit overnight in your house - when it arrives in the morning mail, fill it out and send it to the next place by the evening mail.
 
caseyb27 said:
Hello. I know this post is old but I didn’t want to open another one. I have an update and a new question.

I completed RCIA and was confirmed at Easter Vigil. Although my husband decided he wasn’t ready nor willing to go with me I did it.

I am not trying to rush him nor do I want to pressure him but I am not feeling as if I hoped I would after converting. Our marriage is still invalid. The only difference now is that me converting has caused our marriage more harm than good. He was baptized catholic. Confirmed and after he turned 18 he left the church. He still calls hisself a catholic although I call him non-practicing. I want our marriage convalidated. He is not up to classes or meetings. It was not supposed to be this way. :confused:

I want to stress that although this isn’t important to him it is very important to me. Now he’s the one who says how can a church tell me that we aren’t married.

Is there a way to get our marriage blessed although he’s not practicing and is not willing to go to classes? He went to my conformation and I know he would participate in a blessing to make me happy.

We have a civil marriage since sept 11 2001.
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I read that you were baptised as a Baptist and then later married a Catholic in a civil celebration. In order for your husband to have a valid marriage with you, he is bound to have approval of the Catholic Church. Unless he formally left the Church (between the years 1983 till Dec 21, 2010 documented and accepted by a Catholic Bishop, which was a period where the canon law allowed this) and then married. Assuming he did not, the civil marriage is not recognized as valid due to lack of canonical form. If he will not give new consent today, then you as a Catholic, could apply for a radical sanation (which gets the approval of the Church using the prior consent for a new marriage granted at the time it is approved). This requires that consent has not been withdrawn, which is presumed unless there is some reason to believe otherwise. This can even be done without his participation. That would allow you to receive the sacraments instead of not being able to due to living together in an invalid marriage. To do this you must meet with a priest and explain the situation and he can start the process.

Typically you would fill out the marriage application forms for freedom to marry, and the marriage form as any couple would, and the priest would apply for any dispensations needed. The bishop must approve, so everything must be in order. You must agree to raise any children in the Catholic faith.
 
I too am confused as to how you could have entered the Church while in an invalid marriage.

Ask your priest if your marriage qualifies for radical sanation. It is the only way to convalidate a marriage without his participation.
 
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