A odd experience with my priest

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Jedda

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I went to a meeting with him yesterday. I told him about my faith dilemma and he “told” me I have to except, A, B, C in order to be a catholic, he would not give me reconciliation and hurries me out, I was in there for like 5 minutes… The only thing he did for me spiritually was turn me off.

I was very disgusted because when I walked in the building it was very…“cartoonish” You know how you usually see political cartoons person with a fat man on a pile of money… … well i saw fat (huge) priests everywhere…
Am I supposed to put my faith in a man who clearly has no self control?
 
You are not required to put your faith in a priest. It is necessary to believe in Christ. Do not confuse the actions of men with what you are called to celebrate within Christ’s Church. Should the apostles have left the side of Christ because of Judas’ betrayal?

What exactly is it that you are questioning? It will help if you explain the purpose of the meeting in the first place in order to give you more insight.🙂
 
Am I supposed to put my faith in a man who clearly has no self control?
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It sounds like you might be looking for a reason to justify you not believing the teachings of the Church. If you will only receive spiritual direction from someone who is perfect, then it’s never going to happen.

Now, I’m not sure if you meeting him for confession but, if you were and you do reject Church teachings and are not sorry for your sins, he can’t give you absolution. I wasn’t there for the conversation so it’s rather hard to tell but it would seem that the priest might have wanted to take more than 5 minutes to explain things to you. Did he ask you to come back?
 
It’s tough because we don’t have all the details; we only have your perception–and just as an aside, (and this is not a personal attack) my reading of your post leads me to believe that you are trying to redirect the focus not to your ‘lack of acceptance of A, B, and C’ but to instead attack the persons of 'the priests who because they conform, in your opinion, to ‘fat men sitting on piles of money’. This is my perception; I am not saying that you are deliberately doing this, or that you didn’t have a troubling experience, or that the priests are not ‘fat’, etc. This is just the impression I get, that because of your upset, you are trying to deflect the whole question of whether you believe and make it instead into an issue of what ‘they’ did, and how ‘they’ fall short.

Because it is true, as another said. If you do not accept, A, B, and C which the church teaches, if you personally go ahead with denial of A, B, and C, then you are not able to be reconciled. This isn’t ‘the priest’ who makes the call, it is God who, after all, is the one who really does the forgiveness.

It would be like a person saying, “I sinned by missing Mass because I just didn’t want to go–I’m too tired and you don’t need to worship God in some building.” So the priest says, “In order for me to forgive you, you must be sorry for your sin, you must do this penance, and remember, the Church teaches that one must attend weekly Mass unless there is grave reason such as sickness or the care of minor children. . .to miss Mass otherwise is a mortal sin.” And the person says, “Well, I don’t believe it IS a mortal sin and if I’m tired I am not going to go.”

The priest cannot forgive this person, because he is not sorry for his sin and because he has stated that he will continue on in this sin despite knowing that according to Church teaching it is grave matter. Thus, the sin is mortal–grave matter, which he fully understands and which he freely rejects in favor of his own ‘interpretation’ with full consent of his will.

It is hard, I know, to accept things ‘right away’. I have deep sympathy for your struggle. I will pray for you. The Faith is a wonderful precious gift, worth far more than all the ‘sins’ in the world.
 
Humm…thank you!
I just realized I should not be worried about a priest forgiving me! I should be worried about God forgiving me!
 
Jedda said:
I went to a meeting with him yesterday. I told him about my faith dilemma and he “told” me I have to except, A, B, C in order to be a catholic, he would not give me reconciliation and hurries me out, I was in there for like 5 minutes… The only thing he did for me spiritually was turn me off.

I was very disgusted because when I walked in the building it was very…“cartoonish” You know how you usually see political cartoons person with a fat man on a pile of money… … well i saw fat (huge) priests everywhere…
Am I supposed to put my faith in a man who clearly has no self control?
Click to expand...
Some priests aren’t very good. Or aren’t good in all situations.

It is nonsense to tell someone that they must accept A, B and C in order to be Catholic. Either A B and C are true, in which case they can be explained in their own terms, or they are not and there is no point joining the Church.

However a fat priest might not have the patience for all this, and want to go back to counting his money and his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
 
Jedda asked:

“I was very disgusted because when I walked in the building it was very…“cartoonish” You know how you usually see political cartoons person with a fat man on a pile of money… … well i saw fat (huge) priests everywhere…
Am I supposed to put my faith in a man who clearly has no self control?”

Jedda, I want to reiterate what others have already said here regarding where your “faith” is to be placed.

When I was growing up Catholic, I had many questions for the nuns and priests which, upon looking back, were troubling for all invovled. I know that not all of my teachers were put off by my questions yet it is the responses of those that were so angry with me that burn me still today. I used these nuns and preists and their anger toward me as a perfect little excuse to stay away from the Church for close to 30 years.

During that time away I would, from time to time, make very feeble attempts to return. Unfortunately for me, every time I ran into another Catholic (preist, nun or lay person) who even remotely reminded me of those in my school days, I would profess my righteous indignation at how shallow they all were and again feel justified in staying away.

Fortunately for me, after running into yet another of these (still to this day) very offensive and narrow minded people, it suddenly and finally occured to me (in my dull mindedness) that none of those people in all their pompous sef-righteousness was doing one single thing to keep me away from the Catholic Church. It was my own attitude stuck way back there in the 6th or 7th grade that was preventing me from growing in faith.

I really don’t know where your questions lie, but I do have some advice. First of all, you need never feel ashamed because you have questions. However, you must have the courage and determination to truly look for answers. Never accept simple answers, not from your teachers, your priests and especially, not from yourself. Equally important, you must learn that prudence may often be needed in picking those to whom you wish to ask your questions. It took me a long time to understand that not everyone is as curious as I am. Unfortunately, it took even longer for me to stop judging those people. Had I focused on the true object of faith-- God, and not those flawed humans… (heavy sigh.)

The faith you are looking for is attainable, but for some of us it is not at all easy. I missed almost 30 years because I allowed my anger and disgust to answer my questions for me. I hope your exerience is not the same.

Peace.
 
thomass said:
Jedda asked:

“I was very disgusted because when I walked in the building it was very…“cartoonish” You know how you usually see political cartoons person with a fat man on a pile of money… … well i saw fat (huge) priests everywhere…
Am I supposed to put my faith in a man who clearly has no self control?”

Jedda, I want to reiterate what others have already said here regarding where your “faith” is to be placed.

When I was growing up Catholic, I had many questions for the nuns and priests which, upon looking back, were troubling for all invovled. I know that not all of my teachers were put off by my questions yet it is the responses of those that were so angry with me that burn me still today. I used these nuns and preists and their anger toward me as a perfect little excuse to stay away from the Church for close to 30 years.

During that time away I would, from time to time, make very feeble attempts to return. Unfortunately for me, every time I ran into another Catholic (preist, nun or lay person) who even remotely reminded me of those in my school days, I would profess my righteous indignation at how shallow they all were and again feel justified in staying away.

Fortunately for me, after running into yet another of these (still to this day) very offensive and narrow minded people, it suddenly and finally occured to me (in my dull mindedness) that none of those people in all their pompous sef-righteousness was doing one single thing to keep me away from the Catholic Church. It was my own attitude stuck way back there in the 6th or 7th grade that was preventing me from growing in faith.

I really don’t know where your questions lie, but I do have some advice. First of all, you need never feel ashamed because you have questions. However, you must have the courage and determination to truly look for answers. Never accept simple answers, not from your teachers, your priests and especially, not from yourself. Equally important, you must learn that prudence may often be needed in picking those to whom you wish to ask your questions. It took me a long time to understand that not everyone is as curious as I am. Unfortunately, it took even longer for me to stop judging those people. Had I focused on the true object of faith-- God, and not those flawed humans… (heavy sigh.)

The faith you are looking for is attainable, but for some of us it is not at all easy. I missed almost 30 years because I allowed my anger and disgust to answer my questions for me. I hope your exerience is not the same.

Peace.
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Great story of your realization of the truth! So many people have similar stories, but blame the Church for the err of humans within it. I know people who left more than 60 years ago for similar reasons and are still too stubborn to realize that you don’t leave Jesus because of what Judas did.

God bless you!
 
We all need to try to remember that Priests are human. It’s very possible to catch one on a bad day. Some Priests simply don’t do well with questions concerning the faith. That’s just a sad fact. As a previous member noted, we don’t place our faith in the Priest, we place it in Christ. If you have questions concerning the Catholic Faith, I urge you to keep inquiring. Investigate the possibility of attending RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults). Look around too, for another Priest to talk to. Please, don’t give up on us. We have a very good forum right here on this site. Ask an Apologist. It’s quite possible you can have quite a few of your questions answered right here.
 
Jedda said:
… well i saw fat (huge) priests everywhere…
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Jedda you are lucky to have a parish with so many priests. In the last 30 years, I can only remember three years that the parish I attended had more than one, and none of them were huge.
Statistically interesting.
 
Jedda said:
Humm…thank you!
I just realized I should not be worried about a priest forgiving me! I should be worried about God forgiving me!
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Well, we Catholics know, it isn’t the priest who forgives you, but Jesus, through the priest. So yes, you should be worried about God forgiving you- God, who instituted the Sacrament of Reconcillation.

Good luck,
C
 
Jedda said:
I told him about my faith dilemma and he “told” me I have to except, A, B, C in order to be a catholic, he would not give me reconciliation and hurries me out
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Your personal vitriole at the end aside (for which I see why you might NEED the church), the quote from you above is what I want to focus on.

Faith in God’s church is not easy. Faith is not about finding a church that suits your need and makes you feel comfortable. REAL faith is about discomfort, change, learning new things. Real faith is about suiting God, not the self. Religion SHOULD change people. Perhaps you need to look at “A, B, and C”… look at why you cling to other beliefs, and look at your final comments about the priests simply based on their weight (for which you have no reason to understand WHY they might be fat).

Perhaps for virtue of Christian Charity, beliefs A, B, and C and humbling your heart to FOLLOW God’s church might be JUST what the doctor ordered.
 
Malcolm_McLean said:
It is nonsense to tell someone that they must accept A, B and C in order to be Catholic.
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Hogwash. The catholic church and it’s membership are defined by adherance to the dogma from the vatican, gifted on the church by the Holy Spirit. As such, adherance to the basic doctrine of the Church is REQUIRED to be a member of the church. One can have DOUBTS, but to actively live against and teach against the instruction of God’s holy church is to seperate ones-self from communion with the church.

Perhaps that sounds harsh to you. But I think a perfect example of some of the beliefs that are REQUIRED to be catholic makes this point most apparent:
“We belief in one God, the Father, the Almighty,
Maker of Heaven and Earth,
Of all that is seen and Unseen…”
And so on and so forth…
 
Not to belabor the point, but not everyone who is overweight is a glutton or too lazy to exercise. Some work very hard to lose weight and simply cannot because of their genetic makeup, thyroid problems, sleep apnea, or many other issues.
 
A personal attack on the wieght of a priest is probably not a good idea so hopefully your comments are out of frustration and you are not that shalow. He after all is a man worthy of respect. Second there are probably way more than 3 things you must believe about the church to be Catholic or recieve a sacrament of reconcilliation. as an example. A) You must believe that Jesus is God made man. B) you must believe in the Trinity. C You must belive Jesus Died for your sins. Just a couple off the top of my head. Sanctity of life… Mary, The Church… Ya know Catholic stuff. That being said, the Priest is the vessel used by God for repentance so you would need the sacrament of reconcilliation from a priest to be forgiven. Try not to be so judgemental of the priest… open your mind, be tollerent and listen to other points of view other than your own. Try to be holy and respectfull of others when they are trying to do the same with thier lives, (like a priest who goes through more spiritually and mentally than most people ever do.)
 
Jedda said:
Humm…thank you!
I just realized I should not be worried about a priest forgiving me! I should be worried about God forgiving me!
Click to expand...
Remember, even in the Catholic Church for a devout Catholic, it is ALWAYS God who forgives you…not the priest. God just has established the channel of forgiveness through the priest and the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
 
Jedda said:
I went to a meeting with him yesterday. I told him about my faith dilemma and he “told” me I have to except, A, B, C in order to be a catholic, he would not give me reconciliation and hurries me out, I was in there for like 5 minutes… The only thing he did for me spiritually was turn me off.

I was very disgusted because when I walked in the building it was very…“cartoonish” You know how you usually see political cartoons person with a fat man on a pile of money… … well i saw fat (huge) priests everywhere…
Am I supposed to put my faith in a man who clearly has no self control?
Click to expand...
Jedda,
As far as I’m concerned, we’re not here for the priests. As Father Corapi once said, “There is only one priest.” That priest being Jesus Christ. He is why we’re here. If certain priests turn you off, try another parish, other priests. There are some fantastic priests around. I consider the ones in my parish to be heroic. Best of luck and I’m sorry for your bad experience. Keep searching. “Seek and you will find.”
RosalieM:)
 
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