A "priest?" my husband found

[notsmart]

My head is exploding.

 

[jmcrae]

Maybe its better if I just quit. Because it cant be best for my husband to end up a virolent anti-God type. I could be putting him in a worse state for his soul, and then it may be best I just keep praying for spiritual communion with Jesus on my own and for my daughter. I was told to check some links, and in one I found something a Father Corapi (sp?) said, where he defined marriage as a strong desire to see each other (wife/husband) in heaven.
How can I be a good wife if I am causing my husband to call God names? He never did that before.

I think this is all due to a misunderstanding. The only way you would ever have to live as “brother and sister” is if your Declaration of Nullity was denied (you have not even petitioned yet, right?) and you still chose to become a Catholic.

The chances of that are next to zero.

Talk to a priest.

 

[LaLucia]

Hi again… you need to cry to release the sadness in your heart.
Cry all you want so you can feel better and get stronger in your mind. That is what I do when I have a troubled heart.
You need to cry to release the pressure in your body.
I will pray for your mental health. PEACE be with you.

 

[jmcrae]

Dear Notsmart… you are smart in your soul and God is calling you to be with him and feel his love for you and your family.

Your husband is acting like a angry brat.

Actually, his reaction is completely natural. It would have been better to delay telling him that they might have to live as “brother and sister,” unless there were some real chance of that happening, since the chances of that happening are very slim.

 

[palmas85]

Maybe its better if I just quit. Because it cant be best for my husband to end up a virolent anti-God type. I could be putting him in a worse state for his soul, and then it may be best I just keep praying for spiritual communion with Jesus on my own and for my daughter. I was told to check some links, and in one I found something a Father Corapi (sp?) said, where he defined marriage as a strong desire to see each other (wife/husband) in heaven.
How can I be a good wife if I am causing my husband to call God names? He never did that before.

If your husband is really an athiest why would he call God names? If he is really an athiest why would he hate something that he believes does not exists in the first place? Athiests don’t hate God, they don’t believe there is one…

This whole thread doesn’t make a lot of sense. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t.

 

[a_pilgrim]

If a priest left the priesthood to get married, but did not go through the proper process but rather just quit, he is automatically excommunicated.

I believe this is incorrect. Canon 1394 reads as follows:

Can. 1394 §1. Without prejudice to the prescript of can. 194, §1, n. 3, a cleric who attempts marriage, even if only civilly, incurs a latae sententiae suspension. If he does not repent after being warned and continues to give scandal, he can be punished gradually by privations or even by dismissal from the clerical state.

Note that this canon labels the punishment due a cleric (priest) for this offense as latae sententiae suspension or, if the cleric persists, dismissal from his clerical state. Nowhere does the canon refer to the punishment for this offense as latae sententiae excommunication, a much more severe punishment.

 

[kage_ar]

Do not let your head explode!!

Take a deep breath.

Now, the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. In your earnest search, you may be rushing a bit.

Have you found out when the RCIA classes begin? Start this journey with one step - go to that first meeting. A big change like this can be overwhelming for your husband and for you.

Having a spouse find Christ and His Church will make you a better, more loving, more happy wife. The result of this conversion should be that your hubby tells everyone at work “gosh, you shoud ALL get your wives to become Catholic”.

Don’t get overwhelmed, take it one step at a time.

 

[notsmart]

Actually, his reaction is completely natural. It would have been better to delay telling him that they might have to live as “brother and sister,” unless there were some real chance of that happening, since the chances of that happening are very slim.

Really?

I was going to wait until I spoke to the Priest, but he found out he said by his own “research” (as we have seen, its a bit sketchy at best so far) but he was right about one thing so far. He told me I did not attend a Catholic parish on Sunday! He said it was not listed in the Arch site, and that he thinks its called a “SSPX” schismatic catholic church! I have no idea what that means!
So, I was not even at a Mass on Sunday. And, maybe even getting God even more upset with me!
So, I will go back to the one I went to in the beginning that IS in the arch site, and legit. I thought it was weird so many women had veils on, but I have seen that in the movies. And everyone was really really dressed up. I got stared at. So, I hightailed it out as soon as the priest said the mass is ended, go in peace (thats what it sounded like)
I just went there because I wanted to try a different church to see if I would be more comfortable there or if I could find someone to talk to. The one I first went to, no one talked to me. Maybe because I looked so confused, and its my fault too, because I did not go out of my way to talk to anyone either.

 

[notsmart]

If your husband is really an athiest why would he call God names? If he is really an athiest why would he hate something that he believes does not exists in the first place? Athiests don’t hate God, they don’t believe there is one…

This whole thread doesn’t make a lot of sense. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t.

He has said things like, this God you claim to believe in, and this God who some follow, like that. Now its this God the homewrecker.
I also said things like in close calls in traffic - God help me! But I never believed in God.

 

[Lee_M]

Please don’t give up on God now. You are on your way to finding the Truth. Do not put your husband before God. The path to Heaven is not always the easiest path to take. In fact, it is a very narrow path. Remember Jesus’ words and his actions. He did not take the easiest path when he died on the cross for us at Golgatha. You are responsible for saving your own soul and you are also responsible for leading your daughter down the right and narrow path. What kind of example would you be setting for your daughter now if you just quit because it is inconvenient for your husband. St. Peter struggled with guilt after denying Jesus when he was arrested. He carried that guilt with him up to the time when he was crucified. He asked to be crucified upside down because he was not worthy to die like our Lord, Jesus. So don’t live with this guilt your entire life. Don’t deny Jesus. He is the way to your salvation.

 

[notsmart]

Just to clarify- the priest DID try to talk to me (I consider that different) but I got there early, and the members did not. Hope that helps, I dont want to say anything bad about that priest.

 

[rpp]

My head is exploding.

Hello, notsmart.

I am so very sorry for the difficulty you find yourself in. I can understand and relate to it quite well. I believe another member, 1ke, mentioned me in an earlier post. By the way, I will add that 1ke is consistently very kind and wise. Her words carry a real weight with me.

As she mentioned, I am a convert from atheism. I became an atheist at about age 19 or so and remained one until my sudden and miraculous conversion at age 42; more than 20 years. In many ways, I’ll bet I sounded like your husband.

My wife was also an atheist/agnostic. Unfortunately, she appears to be much more virulent in her hatred Christianity than your husband. She divorced me. However, it is important to state that my conversion was really the last straw for her, we had other problems.

I do not think, based on what you have written, that your husband will leave you. He just needs a period of time to get used to it. He will need to understand that atheism is a religion that requires faith like Christianity. The difference, of course, is that in atheism, the faith is faith in oneself and faith in the supremacy of science and the scientific method.

First, do not give up. There is much you will learn and gain in dealing with this situation and keeping your faith in God. Please continue with the RCIA.

Next, give your husband some time; limit any public displays of “religiosity” so as not to antagonize him.

As for the nullity petition, yes, that does need to be done, but try to do all the work for him, chasing down birth certificates, marriage certificates, certificate of dissolution of marriage, etc. My guess is that since he is an atheist, he is probably not baptized. If that is true, it will be quick and easy. If not, you may need to do the long form as well. (The tribunal will tell you which.) If so, again, try to do as much for him as possible.

The whole point I am trying to make here is not to rub your conversion in his face. Be the same good and loving wife and mother you were before, only now you will be an example to your husband of Christian charity. You will do fine, I am sure.

May God bless you and grant you peace.

 

[ibkc]

notsmart,
My advice is to tell your husband (nicely) that you appreciate his “research” but that since this is your own path that you have to follow, from now on you will do your own research for yourself. Don’t discuss things with your husband that you do not yourself understand fully, and that is to avoid further misunderstanding. Go to RCIA, talk to a priest, and bring your husband in on things gently and in due time. Right now it sounds like he is panicking because his world is about to change. That is understandable, but you should not let it get in the way of your new-found faith in God. Good luck and God bless you.

 

[jmcrae]

Really?

I was going to wait until I spoke to the Priest, but he found out he said by his own “research” (as we have seen, its a bit sketchy at best so far) but he was right about one thing so far. He told me I did not attend a Catholic parish on Sunday! He said it was not listed in the Arch site, and that he thinks its called a “SSPX” schismatic catholic church! I have no idea what that means!
So, I was not even at a Mass on Sunday. And, maybe even getting God even more upset with me!

Don’t worry about that. (Don’t go back there, but don’t worry about it. God understands about honest mistakes.)

I just went there because I wanted to try a different church to see if I would be more comfortable there or if I could find someone to talk to. The one I first went to, no one talked to me. Maybe because I looked so confused, and its my fault too, because I did not go out of my way to talk to anyone either.

No, that had nothing to do with you; that’s just how we are - we tend to assume that people want to be left alone; we are not big talkers, most of the time, and we are kind of shy of strangers.

The best thing is to let the priest know that you are new, and that you are thinking about trying the RCIA, and that you are feeling a bit lonely. He’ll start introducing you to people, and in no time you will have many friends.

 

[rpp]

I believe this is incorrect. Canon 1394 reads as follows:

Can. 1394 §1. Without prejudice to the prescript of can. 194, §1, n. 3, a cleric who attempts marriage, even if only civilly, incurs a latae sententiae suspension. If he does not repent after being warned and continues to give scandal, he can be punished gradually by privations or even by dismissal from the clerical state.

Note that this canon labels the punishment due a cleric (priest) for this offense as latae sententiae suspension or, if the cleric persists, dismissal from his clerical state. Nowhere does the canon refer to the punishment for this offense as latae sententiae excommunication, a much more severe punishment.

Thank you for the clarification.

I made the statement because two years ago, one of the priests at the Cathedral here in my archdiocese up and left without notice and married a former prostitute a few days later. I was told, though in hindsight I do not know if this is correct, that our archbishop excommunicated him. But then I am not privy to the details. This was a very popular priest and this episode generated a good deal of “conversation”.

 

[notsmart]

UPDATE!!!

I just got off the phone with the PRIEST

I was SOOOO nervous. The answering machine picked it up, and I could hear him saying, Hello this is Father X from St.X parish in X returning a call for Monica,

So, I nearly broke my ankle to pick up the phone!

He was so nice. I said, hi, I am Monica. I called and spoke to someone about some questions I have about getting baptised. I am hoping you can let me know who I spoke to because I think I hung up on him.
(him giggling a bit) Relax Monica, Its okay. I understand that you are interested in the Catholic Church?
Yes, but it looks like its not going to be a simple thing.
(him giggling more) Well, maybe that’s good. I don’t think its simple for anyone really. Would you have some time on Wed around 10:00 or 10:30 to talk with me about this?
I said yes, but I have to take my child with.
He said if I could, to try to get a babysitter, but if not he may be able to find someone to watch her in the office while we talk.
He told me to think about it, and if that time was not good to let him know.
I told him I will try to get a babysitter, and I will let him know. (he gave me his voice mail extention from the main line) and told me we will work it out somehow.
Then he asked if I would be interested in coming to the church on Friday because its a special Mass that day. He gave me the times and asked me to think about it.
Whats the special day?
So, getting closer to finding out what he has to say!

 

[rpp]

This Friday, August 15, is a very special feast day for the Catholic Church. It is the Feast of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. This is the day when the Church commemorates the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Mother of Jesus, being assumed bodily into Heaven after her death. It is what is know as a “holy day of obligation”; a day that Catholics are obligated to attend Mass.

I am so happy you spoke to the priest. I think you will find that priests, more than most people, are very friendly and kind men.

Take care and may God bless you!

 

[ibkc]

Bravo!

 

[notsmart]

rpp, thanks for explaining that to me, and your kind help.

And, to everyone on the thread- boy you really are helpful.

I gotta go make calls to find a sitter, maybe my mom if she does not know what its for. lol.

At least I have some time.

Better run,

Thanks so much

 

[kage_ar]

So happy!!! Praying for you.