A problem with evil thoughts

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mike_sieber

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I’ve been away from church for over a year now. One issue I have is how to reconcile my bad personality with how I’m supposed to act as a Christian.

For example. I have an ex-wife and I admit that I don’t think charitable thoughts about her. I could fake it, but deep down, it’s not the truth.

How can I go to mass, pretend to be a loving Christian and still harbor these bad thoughts?

I really envy those who have love and joy in their hearts for everyone. Maybe I’m just doomed.
 
You know, I don’t know any good Christians who drive often and don’t have some evil thoughts about other drivers. I have told my dh that it will likely land many Christians in purgatory. We all have something with which we struggle. Keep fighting the good fight.

Are your feelings so negative that, if God allowed you to judge her, you would send her to hell? If not, there is a spark of compassion for your eternal “sister”. You may not feel love and joy for her now, but you will in heaven. Just being aware of the problem is a good start for eliminating it.
 
I have bad thoughts about my mother and father, does this mean that I am evil, nah. My spiritual director told me that I have been hurt, wounded emotionally by those that were supposed to love me.

This is the deepest of hurts a person can give another. Our emotions are the bridge between our human nature and our spiritual nature, and just like all bridges the smallest bit of damage can have profound effects. Its time to call in someone who can help repair the damage.

I would first suggest you find a good solid priest, one that has had a lot of experience with marriage issues, try asking your marriage preparation folks they would know who is available. And second, get out your Rosary and ask our Lady for help in this issue.
 
Bring your concern to the confessional. There are lot of grace in this Sacrament. Talk to your confessor about it, receive the Sacrament. You may not overcome it overnight, but keep on praying and keep on receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation and you will gradually see the desired effect.

Not only pray for yourself, pray for your ex also.
 
mike_sieber said:
I’ve been away from church for over a year now. One issue I have is how to reconcile my bad personality with how I’m supposed to act as a Christian.

For example. I have an ex-wife and I admit that I don’t think charitable thoughts about her. I could fake it, but deep down, it’s not the truth.

How can I go to mass, pretend to be a loving Christian and still harbor these bad thoughts?

I really envy those who have love and joy in their hearts for everyone. Maybe I’m just doomed.
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I hate to tell you my friend but nobody has love and joy in their hearts for everyone al the time. Doesn’t happen ever… Everybody, even the holiest among us harbors evil thoughts, violent thoughts and probably even:eek: :eek: lustful:thoughts :bigyikes:

We are all human despite what some of the holier than thou types that periodically crop up here would have you believe. You know the ones that say a true Catholic can never commit a mortal sin or if they do it is exceedingly difficult.

Yeah right

Just do the best you can, confess your sins and shortcomings with a firm purpose of amendment and try to do better.

You know if the Church really thought we were all capable of holiness to the nth degree, they never would have instituted the sacrament of reconciliation.👍
 
Agree with others here.

Go to mass, receive reconciliation, and do your best to try to do better - that’s not pretending - that’s called living - and it’s not easy. You are feeling pain and betrayal and it’s only natural to harbor ill feelings after such trauma. That’s being human.

We all slip up and we all fall down. Our mission is to have enough grace and compassion in our hearts to know that despite our failings, we can return to the mass, ask for forgiveness, and try to do better.

Trying and failing is not pretending, it’s a constant journey of faith and not a destination. Pray for help and guidance as we all do.
 
I had been having this problem too. It used to be when I would read the newspaper and would see the headline, say about a fatal car accident, that it would flash across my mind that I would hope it would be my ex as he has been so cruel and just won’t leave me alone, even with the divorce. I did tallk to my confessor and he suggested I start spending time in adoration. I had never been before, but I started going a couple of times a week, often praying the rosary. It has really helped. Another thing that was recommended to me was prayer and fasting for the conversion of his heart. I will be doing that tomorrow.

Just don’t give up. You are not doomed. The graces that you need to overcome this are available in the sacraments.

Oh, and welcome back! 🙂
 
Thanks to all. You’ve really given some great direction and it’s nice to know that I’m not abnormal - well at least about this:D
 
Mike,
Let me share a little secret… Shhhh we don’t want the anti-papists to hear… lean in close…Forgiveness is more for you than the person you are forgiving…shhhh… Think about it… your ex is going on her merry little way and here you are stuck in anger and “evil thoughts” right? So your relationship with God is drifting while she has no clue this is eating you up inside. So here is how to fix it:

  1. *]Go to reconciliation
    *]pray for your ex… everyday
    *]pray for God’s grace
    you will see that it will take no time at all…trust me…BTDT!!!
 
Anti papists LOL!! Thanks for the advice. I’ve thought about adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament too. Hard to focus on negativity while in the Presence.
 
mike_sieber said:
Anti papists LOL!! Thanks for the advice. I’ve thought about adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament too. Hard to focus on negativity while in the Presence.
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😃 Glad you liked it!!! Adoration is good too. Don’t forget to forgive yourself too. It’s ok to be human you know… as long as we strive for holy.
 
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