A question about annointing of the sick

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I have posted here before, at least a couple of times, with worries I have about where could the soul of my child be. You can check my posting history to review. Many were so good and comforting to me and some suggested I talk to a priest. I’ve always wanted to but I felt I only wanted to talk with the chaplain of the hospital where my son died. I felt some kind of connection to him because he came in every morning and prayed with Gary and I. It was also after he came in one morning and said that he was going on vacation for two weeks, and jokingly said that he didn’t want to see Gary here when he got back, that the doctor came in and said Gary was going to die and Gary died that night.

But it was hard for me to get back to the hospital to talk to him because, frankly, I didn’t want to be near the hospital where Gary died ever again. However, Monday, my other son and his wife had their baby and had it at the same hospital. So while I was there I took advantage to go talk to the Chaplain, Father Mike.

He was very nice and even though it was 19 months ago, he remembered Gary. It was easy to do that because Gary was super morbidly obese and I think he was the first such patient like him they had ever had. He was very kind to me but of course he couldn’t reassure me that Gary was in Heaven. I knew he couldn’t but I just wanted to talk about Gary and the issues I had. He shared a story with me about a similar conversation he had with a couple who had just lost their son the week before, who happened to also be named Gary, who was wanting to know about the destination of his soul. It was comforting to me a little with all he was sharing but I wasn’t completely better until he said this…

He started talking about the annointing of the sick. He said that he does this to all patients in the hospital. I’m not exactly sure what it means but he seemed to imply that it would help Gary get to heaven. I’m pretty sure it needs to be done with holy oil. My question is that I am 95% sure that whenever he came in to pray with Gary, he never did anything involving oil. So, can a priest do annointing of the sick without the oil? The only thing I can think of otherwise, is if he came in perhaps at a time when I might have been downstairs eating in the cafeteria. But I’m pretty sure Gary would have told me, especially his last day when he saw how much I wanted him to talk to the priest to make sure he was good with God and go to heaven. Can anyone explain what this sacrament is about and if it can be done without holy oil. I want to believe the priest did this with Gary. I think I will finally be at peace with Gary’s death knowing where he is and I can finally grieve his death and move on.
 
Extreme Unction [A.K.A. Anointing of the Sick] is the Sacrament which, through the anointing and prayer of the priest, gives health and strength to the soul, and sometimes to the body, when we are in danger of death from sickness.

The effects of Extreme Unction are:

1.To comfort us in the pains of sickness and to strengthen us against temptations;
2.To remit venial sins and to cleanse our soul from the remains of sin;
3.To restore us to health, when God sees fit. --Baltimore Catechism

Please accept my sincerest condolences on the loss of your son. I will pray the De Profúndis for his soul. As far as I know, this Sacrament must be administered with holy oil. Although it isn’t necessary for salvation, someone can die without Extreme Unction and still go to heaven. But the priest did say that he administers it to everyone, so I’m sure he administered it to your son. Your son may have just forgotten to mention it.

Since your son communicated with the priest often prior to his death, you can certainly hope in the mercy of Almighty God that he has achieved salvation. Prayers for his soul in Purgatory would be a wonderful gift to him. 🙂
 
Thank you so much for your reply. Father Mike did say he did it so I must not have been in the room at that particular time. I do have hope. That is all I do have. Again, thank you.
 
Thank you so much for your reply. Father Mike did say he did it so I must not have been in the room at that particular time. I do have hope. That is all I do have. Again, thank you.
You’re very welcome. 🙂 I will pray for you and your son.
 
I am so very sorry for your loss. I can’t possibly understand your pain. Please know my prayers are with you, your family and, of course, Gary. You may find comfort in the Divine Mercy Chaplet. Trust in the Mercy of our Almighty God.

God Bless You.
 
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