A question about confession validity

[DL82]

At my first confession (just before this Easter), there was one sin I was particularly ashamed to admit. Because it was quite an unusual sin, and I was structuring my confession around the sins enumerated in the 10 Commandments section of the Catechism, I think I split the sin up into component bits, i.e. I said “I committed x on 9 occasions” then later “I committed y on 9 occasions”, but neglected to mention that x and y were a single act that was put together in a particularly odd way. It wasn’t my intention to withold a mortal sin, I believed this was enough to satisfy God’s mercy.

I have since realised the folly of this, and have confessed the thing in plain language, and received absolution.

It’s made me worry though, was my first and all subsequent confessions, valid?

Likewise, how do I know that I have ‘supernatural’ sorrow for my sins? As someone who understands the physical consequences of sin, and understands that God made us body and soul, how can I know for sure whether I’m sorry for supernatural reasons, or just because I want to live a good bodily life on earth? Where is the dividing line between natural and supernatural?

I keep having the thought that the opportunity will arise at some point in future to make a general confession and put my worries at rest, and telling myself that I’ll do this on the 1st anniversary of my conversion, but I worry that that’s either putting off what’s important now, abusing the sacrament, or possibly tending towards scrupulosity.

I guess one of the reasons I’ve started to worry this way is that my first few confessions I was confessing really big obvious sins, and I stopped them right away, while now I’m still regularly committing mortal sins, but they don’t seem to stop, which is making me doubt the validity of my contrition.

 

[jprioli]

DL82:

Put your mind and your heart at ease.

What is required for the Sacrament of Penance is repentance; whether for more selfish (e.g., desire to avoid hell) or for more noble (love of God) reasons is not important here. (it might be important in other ways, but not here.)

This repentance, in simple terms, is a regret that you did the act, and a turning of your will away from the act at the time you are confessing it.

You may fall into the act again for many reasons, and you may repent of it, and confess it again. But each time you do it and then repent of it, you may and should confess it.

I do not want you to mention the sins here, but I am curious how you know that they are mortal sins. Do you have a spiritual director? or do you go to the same priest each time for confession and have built up a relationship with him, where he can help you to evaluate this?

I ask because many times people see the sins they commit as worse than they are; and sometimes people even see sin where there is none. This is a condition called “scrupulosity.” I would urge you to, if you haven’t already, make the kind of relationship that I have described with a priest or a good spiritual director.

Not only will you have greater confidence in your confessions, you will also have a greater chance of conquering your temptation toward these sins!

Regards,
Deacon Joe

 

[Spirithound]

At my first confession (just before this Easter), there was one sin I was particularly ashamed to admit.
I have since realised the folly of this, and have confessed the thing in plain language, and received absolution.

It’s made me worry though, was my first and all subsequent confessions, valid?

Likewise, how do I know that I have ‘supernatural’ sorrow for my sins? whether I’m sorry for supernatural reasons, or just because I want to live a good bodily life on earth? Where is the dividing line between natural and supernatural?

I keep having the thought that the opportunity will arise at some point in future to make a general confession and put my worries at rest, and telling myself that I’ll do this on the 1st anniversary of my conversion, but I worry that that’s either putting off what’s important now, abusing the sacrament, or possibly tending towards scrupulosity.

I guess one of the reasons I’ve started to worry this way is that my first few confessions I was confessing really big obvious sins, and I stopped them right away, while now I’m still regularly committing mortal sins, but they don’t seem to stop, which is making me doubt the validity of my contrition.

Since you did not withhold the sin, I think your first confession was valid. At any rate, in the subsequent confession, you overcame your pride and shame and came totally clean with it, and that is the point of confession.

Supernatural sorrow is not required in the sacrament of confession. All that is required is the desire to not sin again. So, since you have made a valid confession, it is not necessary to make a general confession.
Some sins are addictive, actually most if not all are, some moreso than others. The fact that at the current time (because you will get better!) you are still committing certain sins is not indicative of lack of contrition, just that you’re human.

So, welcome to the sacrament, welcome to the Church!