A Question About Confession

[Love_much]

I have a question about a couple of confessions I have made in the past week or so. Lets say I confessed lying in this way - “I lied to a family member” - and then remembered a separate instance where I lied again. Would I need to re-confess, or would my confession of lying suffice? I confessed a mortal sin recently, by name, by mentioning a certain circumstance I was in, and then remembered a different circumstance where it was also involved. Would mentioning the sin by name have covered both circumstances? I’m curious because I had confessed quite a few things in my first confession and then went back for a second one because some things had come up, and my priest told me I didn’t have to “prove myself.” That sounds to me like, “You’re okay now, you’ve been absolved, go in peace.” What do you think? I’m going to my uncle’s Confirmation later tonight and want to make sure my absolution has covered everything before I go up for Communion!

I’m trying not to be too scrupulous. Anxiety tends to get me in some bad situations.

 

[EllisWoods]

Why not just confess to all sins committed since it would be impossible to enumerate every one especially if you haven’t been to confession in a while.

 

[Love_much]

Why not just confess to all sins committed since it would be impossible to enumerate every one especially if you haven’t been to confession in a while.

I did. In both confessions, I said, “I am sorry for these and all other sins,” or something along those lines. It had been a little while since my last confession, so I did my best to make a thorough list. I feel like I got it all covered, since I mentioned this particular sin by name, but I want to make extra sure. I’m trying to toe the line between scrupulous and prudent.

 

[KD8TZC]

First off, once you go to confession, you have been forgiven by our merciful God. He forgives and forgets. If I completely forget a mortal sin, I know that God has forgiven me even though I forgot it through no fault of my own. I will bring this up though at the next confession.

Now, the thing I would do, as Ellis suggested, is just say “forgive me Father for I have sinned… I have lied on numerous occasions, one of them being when I lied to Joe Schmo. I may have also lied in other circumstances, but I can’t recall them all at this point.”

Also, make sure when you lied it was mortal. And to refresh our memories, a mortal sin is an act of grave matter that is committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.

Pax tecum,

John

 

[Love_much]

First off, once you go to confession, you have been forgiven by our merciful God. He forgives and forgets. If I completely forget a mortal sin, I know that God has forgiven me even though I forgot it through no fault of my own. I will bring this up though at the next confession.

Now, the thing I would do, as Ellis suggested, is just say “forgive me Father for I have sinned… I have lied on numerous occasions, one of them being when I lied to Joe Schmo. I may have also lied in other circumstances, but I can’t recall them all at this point.”

Also, make sure when you lied it was mortal. And to refresh our memories, a mortal sin is an act of grave matter that is committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.

Pax tecum,

John

Thank you, John. This is helpful. Since I confessed the mortal sin by name, I believe the absolution covered it. Next time, just to make it way easier for me, I’ll try to generalize the statement (i.e., “I lied” instead of “I lied in this very specific circumstance”), unless I’m sure it only happened once. I had made a general confession when it came to the amount of times the sin was committed, because it had been a while since my second-to-last confession.

 

[SHoJjhmou]

Thank you, John. This is helpful. Since I confessed the mortal sin by name, I believe the absolution covered it. Next time, just to make it way easier for me, I’ll try to generalize the statement (i.e., “I lied” instead of “I lied in this very specific circumstance”), unless I’m sure it only happened once. I had made a general confession when it came to the amount of times the sin was committed, because it had been a while since my second-to-last confession.

If the lie you did was a mortal sin, (ie: you caused serious damage/denied your faith/perjury/something seriously gravely bad) then you CANNOT generalize it. You have to say the number of times you’ve commited it (but do not scruple and freak out since you do not know the exact number of times…just tell your priest a good ball-park number) .

For all sins, mortal and venial, you should specify if there was something that made it worse, such as you lied in a federal court about murdering somebody (mortal sin), rather than lying to you brother about drawing a random face on his notebook (venial sin unless it was an extremely valuable notebook that would cause him or somebody else major distress or something like that b/c you drew a smilie face…even in that circumstance you would have to have full knowledge/sufficient reflection and full consent for it to be mortal sin)

But if it was venial sin, then I think that generalizing the amount of times you’ve committed that sin would be fine… but you can always get into the habit of doing so (unless you’re scrupulous, then don’t do it for venial sins)

And ALL sins are forgiven (if we did not purposefully try to hide them) after absolution… but you should still mention it the next time you go to Confession.
Just try to remember the forgotten ones the next time you go to Confession…maybe write yourself a note?

 

[Love_much]

If the lie you did was a mortal sin, (ie: you caused serious damage/denied your faith/perjury/something seriously gravely bad) then you CANNOT generalize it. You have to say the number of times you’ve commited it (but do not scruple and freak out since you do not know the exact number of times…just tell your priest a good ball-park number) .

For all sins, mortal and venial, you should specify if there was something that made it worse, such as you lied in a federal court about murdering somebody (mortal sin), rather than lying to you brother about drawing a random face on his notebook (venial sin unless it was an extremely valuable notebook that would cause him or somebody else major distress or something like that b/c you drew a smilie face…even in that circumstance you would have to have full knowledge/sufficient reflection and full consent for it to be mortal sin)

But if it was venial sin, then I think that generalizing the amount of times you’ve committed that sin would be fine… but you can always get into the habit of doing so (unless you’re scrupulous, then don’t do it for venial sins)

And ALL sins are forgiven (if we did not purposefully try to hide them) after absolution… but you should still mention it the next time you go to Confession.
Just try to remember the forgotten ones the next time you go to Confession…maybe write yourself a note?

Well, now I’m confused. I did the best I could in my last two confessions to get everything off my chest in the best way I knew how. It had been a while since my last confession, so I didn’t know exact numbers. Again, I did the best I could. I didn’t confess this and say, “I did this once.” I just said I did the sin in a specific way.

I also read in Ten Commandments For the Scrupulous: “Do not go back over past sins and do not repeat the confession of them! Such an exercise is not at all helpful and must be resisted.”

So am I okay?

 

[SHoJjhmou]

Well, now I’m confused. I did the best I could in my last two confessions to get everything off my chest in the best way I knew how. It had been a while since my last confession, so I didn’t know exact numbers. Again, I did the best I could. I didn’t confess this and say, “I did this once.” I just said I did the sin in a specific way.

I also read in Ten Commandments For the Scrupulous: “Do not go back over past sins and do not repeat the confession of them! Such an exercise is not at all helpful and must be resisted.”

So am I okay?

You’re scrupulous???!!!

I thought you weren’t scrupulous and I was being hard on you. Even if you’re not scrupulous you confessed it the best you could. So I think you’re fine.

But how did you confess your sins? (Btw if you said you did a mortal sin without giving a number or something like that then it probably is assumed you did it once…)

I think if you say you did a particular mortal sin “several times” (accounts for doing the sin more than two times but not a ridiculous amount of times, like 10, something in between I would assume) then you would be fine (unless you commited the sin a lot more than you would consider “several”).

Just say that you forgot to mention the number of times you did a sin (and if you received Communion/# of times) in your next Confession.

If you honestly don’t remember what you said in your Confession, then I don’t know what to tell you, only that just trust God, receive the Eucharist if you made a good Confession, and just honestly talk to the priest the next time you happen to go to Confession about it. Don’t scruple although.

Hope I didn’t confuse you.

 

[Mintaka]

Yes. You are okay.

Good job going to Confession! A lot of people don’t go at all!

 

[Love_much]

You’re scrupulous???!!!

I thought you weren’t scrupulous and I was being hard on you. Even if you’re not scrupulous you confessed it the best you could. So I think you’re fine.

But how did you confess your sins? (Btw if you said you did a mortal sin without giving a number or something like that then it probably is assumed you did it once…)

I think if you say you did a particular mortal sin “several times” (accounts for doing the sin more than two times but not a ridiculous amount of times, like 10, something in between I would assume) then you would be fine (unless you commited the sin a lot more than you would consider “several”).

Just say that you forgot to mention the number of times you did a sin (and if you received Communion/# of times) in your next Confession.

If you honestly don’t remember what you said in your Confession, then I don’t know what to tell you, only that just trust God, receive the Eucharist if you made a good Confession, and just honestly talk to the priest the next time you happen to go to Confession about it. Don’t scruple although.

Hope I didn’t confuse you.

I have a tendency to be a little scrupulous, although I am getting better at it. Confession seems to be where I get the most scrupulous these days.

You didn’t, don’t worry! You clarified what you said and I appreciate it.

Thank you as well, Mintaka!

 

[pianistclare]

I did. In both confessions, I said, “I am sorry for these and all other sins,” or something along those lines. It had been a little while since my last confession, so I did my best to make a thorough list. I feel like I got it all covered, since I mentioned this particular sin by name, but I want to make extra sure. I’m trying to toe the line between scrupulous and prudent.

“I have a problem issue with lying”.
If the priest wants to know to whom and the context, he’ll ask.
If you sincerely prayed “For these and all the sins of my past life, I am sorry” you are fine.
A good examination of conscience, and a good act of contrition are helpful in preparing for Reconciliation.
If you feel yourself leaning toward scruples…tell your priest. He will help you to handle these thoughts.
God bless.

 

[Love_much]

“I have a problem issue with lying”.
If the priest wants to know to whom and the context, he’ll ask.
If you sincerely prayed “For these and all the sins of my past life, I am sorry” you are fine.
A good examination of conscience, and a good act of contrition are helpful in preparing for Reconciliation.
If you feel yourself leaning toward scruples…tell your priest. He will help you to handle these thoughts.
God bless.

Thanks for the help. I won’t worry about it, then. I’m straining my brain trying to remember specifics, and I do know I said the apology for past sins both times.

 

[SHoJjhmou]

This isn’t specifically aimed at Love Much but we are obliged to state the number of mortal sins, not just what the matter was.

If you sincerely forgot to mention the number of times (or sincerely forgot to mention the sin at all), then just mention that in your next Confession. Your sins still are forgiven, you still received absolution, and you can still receive Eucharist, although you still need to tell a priest in your next Confession…although you aren’t required to go to Confession ASAP, unlike with mortal sins that haven’t been absolved.

Just try not to space out that Confession so far out that you forget that sin…

 

[pianistclare]

This isn’t specifically aimed at Love Much but we are obliged to state the number of mortal sins, not just what the matter was.

If you sincerely forgot to mention the number of times (or sincerely forgot to mention the sin at all), then just mention that in your next Confession. Your sins still are forgiven, you still received absolution, and you can still receive Eucharist, although you still need to tell a priest in your next Confession…although you aren’t required to go to Confession ASAP, unlike with mortal sins that haven’t been absolved.

Just try not to space out that Confession so far out that you forget that sin…

See, the thing is, when we start making these (true) statements, the scrupulous get worse.
I prefer to recommend a frank talk with the confessor, and let THEM school them on how they should confess.
I can imagine the next thing will be “is this mortal? I’m not sure. How many times do I have to repeat this? Was my confession valid?”
Knowing the rules is different from having a handle on them.
His or her confessor can tackle this.
Of course, this is not directed at anyone in particular.

 

[SHoJjhmou]

See, the thing is, when we start making these (true) statements, the scrupulous get worse.
I prefer to recommend a frank talk with the confessor, and let THEM school them on how they should confess.
I can imagine the next thing will be “is this mortal? I’m not sure. How many times do I have to repeat this? Was my confession valid?”
Knowing the rules is different from having a handle on them.
His or her confessor can tackle this.
Of course, this is not directed at anyone in particular.

Yeah, no, I was just stating that so that if anybody else came up and saw this thread they wouldn’t walk away from it thinking they didn’t have to say the # of times they committed that mortal sin if they forgot it.

Btw dont worry, I PM’d Love Much already, so he (or she) already knew I wasn’t talking to them.

 

[pianistclare]

Yeah, no, I was just stating that so that if anybody else came up and saw this thread they wouldn’t walk away from it thinking they didn’t have to say the # of times they committed that mortal sin if they forgot it.

Btw dont worry, I PM’d Love Much already, so he (or she) already knew I wasn’t talking to them.

There are hundreds of these threads and someone always weighs in with the rules. Always. No one will ever get the “wrong idea” on confession here.

 

[SHoJjhmou]

There are hundreds of these threads and someone always weighs in with the rules. Always. No one will ever get the “wrong idea” on confession here.

Well if I’m being honest, I actually misinterpreted some information myself on this website and it caused me INTENSE scruples…so I don’t want any of that to happen to anybody else… because believe me, if one person says something wrong, then it’ll take a few people who have articulately stated facts straight from the Catechism to persuade the scrupulous person that the one person was truly wrong.

I wish that wouldn’t happen, but I guess that’s what happens. It happened to me, and my scruples were FAR less intense (as intense as they were) than other people viewing these threads.

In fact, I think that a good chunk of the guests on this site are scrupulous people trying to find answers to their questions…but that’s just my opinion

 

[Vico]

I have a question about a couple of confessions I have made in the past week or so. Lets say I confessed lying in this way - “I lied to a family member” - and then remembered a separate instance where I lied again. Would I need to re-confess, or would my confession of lying suffice? I confessed a mortal sin recently, by name, by mentioning a certain circumstance I was in, and then remembered a different circumstance where it was also involved. Would mentioning the sin by name have covered both circumstances? I’m curious because I had confessed quite a few things in my first confession and then went back for a second one because some things had come up, and my priest told me I didn’t have to “prove myself.” That sounds to me like, “You’re okay now, you’ve been absolved, go in peace.” What do you think? I’m going to my uncle’s Confirmation later tonight and want to make sure my absolution has covered everything before I go up for Communion!

I’m trying not to be too scrupulous. Anxiety tends to get me in some bad situations.

If mortal, tell the number and kind, with circumstances effecting the kind, of all remembered. If you remember one later, then it should be told next time.