A question about forgiveness

[MercedesBents]

This is something I’ve wrestled with and I’m sure a lot of Christians do.

Here’s what I’d like to hear your thoughts on: how can you, or CAN you, forgive someone who doesn’t want to be forgiven? who thinks they haven’t done anything wrong? (yes, this is a personal situation)

After a lot of meditation, I can only conclude that in a situation like this, you can’t FORCE forgiveness on anyone but you can be ready to give it to them if they decide they want to be reconciled to you.

I had a very terrible mother and to the day she died, she never admitted she’d done anything wrong and would get angry and insulted (to the point of physically shoving me around) if I or anyone else dared to insinuate she was less than perfect. (She had a lot of problems with alchohol, etc.)

If she had ever said to me, I’m so sorry for what I did and I’ll try to make it up to you–that would have been it, as far as I was concerned. It would have been over and done with, all in the past, water under the bridge–well, you get the idea.

Please share your thoughts with me.

 

[Alberich]

I think that Luke 23:34 is directly on point here: “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Clearly the Romans that nailed Jesus to the cross did not think that they were doing anything wrong–certainly they didn’t believe that Jesus was the Son of God. But He still asked for their forgiveness.

Also, remember that to forgive is an action…to forgive is not a passive verb. After all, what’s important is your disposition, the attitude of charity you take towards those that would harm you.

Peace,
Alberich

 

[vz71]

When you forgive someone, it is not completely about them.

I would imagine it would be much healthier to forgive and move on rather then holding the events in.

Isn’t every day that you hold forgiveness waiting for this person’s desire for forgiveness essentially a rehash of events best left in the past?

 

[TEME525]

When I read your question two thoughts can immediately to my mind so I will share them with you al thought neither are deep moral insight.

My first thought is for your mother’s sake I think you should thank God that there is a purgatory which when you think about it, through your prayers for her, gives you the greatest opportunity to offer to your mother the forgiveness you seem to have been denied to give her during her life time. Now, this important stage of her life when she is really ready to accept your forgiveness.

My second thought was towards you and it is if you haven’t already perhaps you should seek some professional counciling which would provide you with help that really cannot be given here.

 

[puzzleannie]

forgiveness is about your own mental and spiritual attitude toward the person and the offense, it is not about the other person. No, you cannot reconcile with a person who doesn’t want it or admit the need, but that is another topic.