Matt
I understand your struggle to love your sister and yet obey the Church’s very clear teaching on homosexuality. I am there with you. I have a very close friend who has recently told me she is a lesbian. She has divorced her husband and moved in to live with her lover and her lover’s husband and 2 children. This woman is my oldest friend in the world and not someone I am willing to abandon, but neither am I willing to abandon the Truth.
My friend also does not feel that what she is doing is a sin. She gets extremely angry whenever I try to speak with her about this. She is constantly challenging me to tell her how love and acceptance can possibly be wrong. She has suffered a great deal in her life, especially when she lived with her parents where she was abused. In some ways her early experiences (environment!) have corrupted her understanding of sexuality, and while she admits and recognizes this, she refuses to accept ANY responsibility for making the choices she is making now. She says it is not her fault because of what was done to her when she was a child.
I disagree. It is her choice now. It was not her choice then as a child, and yes she has a lot of “debris” to clean up in her mental and spiritual state. But I will not accept that being abused early on in life excuses you from moral responsibility as an adult. All of us had some difficult things happen in our lives. This does not excuse us from morality! She knows she needs counseling and help. She refuses to get it and insists that her lover is all she needs to find “healing”. While I have great compassion for her wounds, I also see that she is only wounding herself more now.
Your sister may have had a similar abusive experience that she cannot yet share. My friend was thirty before she told ANYONE what had happened to her as a child, even her husband did not know.
I have had several friends through the years who were gay or lesbian, and without fail, all of them asserted that they were **not ** born that way. Studies done on this topic have failed to show any clear evidence one way or the other. It really does not matter if we are born predisposed to a certain sin or not: it remains a sin. I may have a predisposition to shoplifting, but that does not excuse me from the consequences of doing that.
Like my friend, your sister is exchanging what she thinks is earthly happiness for what may be her eternal soul. The true source of happiness is holiness. You may or may not be able to converse with your sister about these things, but try. You and your sister will be in my prayers, and I’d ask all who read this to pray for my friend too.
