A question about honoring parents and sin

[nsm]

Hey All,

I am a new Catholic and recently I have found myself going to confession, resolving not to sin, and then a few hours later a situation will occur that I am not sure whether I committed a mortal sin and I am wondering “oh man, should I take the Eucharist?” Usually I decide against doing so until I can get to confession which is given once a week where I am at school. But, I have really wanted to go to daily mass and I feel totally barred from doing so.

I am starting to get the feeling that things that I think are mortal are not really mortal, but because of my newness in the faith and the fact that I came from a Baptist background where all sins are considered equal, I am having trouble differentiating.

I just got back from Confession about an hour ago, and on the drive back I was talking with my mom. The conversation was going great, then I mentioned the repairs that have gone into maintaining my 2002 Dodge Neon, and said that I wish that I didn’t purchase it. She made a comment about how she had always thought that choosing that car was a bad idea and another comment which was wrapped up in in-law history and stuff. I felt my temper raging and before I knew it I was making a snide pointed comment about how that was the only car that we could afford because nobody helped us out financially when we were married (which is a total misrepresentation - my husband and I struggled financially at the beginning of our marriage, and my parents really helped us out as much as they could because they were struggling too).

The moment it came out of my mouth I regretted it. I called my mom back and apologized for the comment, which she said that she didn’t even hear, and she was totally fine and happy about everything. But I still wonder, did I break the fourth commandment, dishonor my parents, and thus am in mortal sin? Should I turn right around and head into confession again? Tomorrow, is the memorial of my grandmother’s death and I want to attend daily mass where her name is being read, but I do not want to defame the Eucharist.

I also do not want to become scrupulous. This new-found unsureness about whether I have not committed a mortal sin right after confession, is really becoming draining and I have been tempted to despair.

Any help would be much appreciated!!!

 

[EmeraldWings]

well, first let me give you a little page from one of my catechism books on the 4th commandment…

"1. What is the Fourth Commandment?

Honor thy father and thy mother.

"With thy whole heart, honor thy father, and forget not the groanings of thy mother:  Remember that thou hadst not been born but through them:  and make a return to them as they have done for thee."    (Ecclesiasticus 7:28-30)

2. What are the duties of children toward their parents?

1. To love and respect them as long as they live.
2. To obey them in all things, except sin.
3. To help them in their old age, or when they are sick and helpless.
4. To see that they receive the Last Sacraments and a Catholic funeral; if they are not Catholic, to encourage them to join the True Church.

3. How long is a child obliged to obey his parents?

Until approximately the 21st birthday, or until he or she leaves home to be married or to become a priest or sister.

4. Do your parents come before your marriage partner?

No, your first obligation is to your marriage partner and your children.

5. What are the sins against the Fourth Commandment?

Disobeying one’s parents; hating, threatening, cursing, striking, or insulting them; being ashamed of them; wishing them evil; speaking or acting unkindly toward them; causing them anger or sorrow.

6. What else does the Fourth Commandment oblige you to do?

To respect all lawful authority, especially the authority of the Church and the State.

"Let every soul be subject to higher powers:  for there is no power but from God:  and those that are, are ordained of God.  Therefore he that resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God...  Render therefore to all men their dues.  Tribute, to whom tribute is due:  custom, to whom custom:  fear, to whom fear:  honor, to whom honor."    (Romans 13:1-7)"

ok well one thing you have to understand is the difference between mortal and venial sins,
to commit a mortal sin requires full deliberation, advertence of the mind and consent of the will,
so in other words, if you are not aware of what you are doing before you do it, then it is not a mortal sin, but if you know it’s wrong, think about it, and decide to do it anyways, then it is a mortal sin.

although you did speak unkindly to your mother, you didn’t actually know what you were doing when or before you did it, you realized what you did after you did it,
if you had done it, and while you were doing it realized what you were doing, but continued to do it, then it would be a mortal sin, but if you did it, realized what you were doing, and stopped yourself, then it would only be a venial sin.

it would actually be a good idea to go to confession daily or weekly, you can talk to your priest about what are mortal sins and what aren’t, and you will obtain many many graces to overcome your sins and progress in your virtues,
the more you go to confession the easier it will become to overcome temptation or sudden emotional out bursts,

i think it’s very good that you will deny yourself from receiving Jesus when you are(or think you are) in mortal sin, because alot of Catholics will go to communion when they are in the state of mortal sin and not even think about it, although most of these types of people are the ones who go to mass on Sundays, and then the rest of the week forget about God.

ok well i guess that’s all, hope this has helped, tc.

 

[StCsDavid]

Christ came to save not to condemn which is a good thing as it appears you’re doing a fine job condemning yourself. The question is should you be? You had a spat with your mom in a fit of anger, and said some things you regretted. You apologized immediately and it appears she was no worse for wear. Do you really believe that Our Lord wants you to stay away from His most intimate embrace, the Eucharist? Talk to a priest if you truly believe you have mortally sinned. IMHO, you’re being a bit hard on yourself.