A question about sin from a new convert

[castlet]

I had my first confession last week, and left there feeling great, and light and free. I also thought to myself “I’m a good person, dedicated to God and Church, and surely it will be awhile before I’ll need to go to confession again.” So here’s the issue: in the past week a friend texted me and I was tired and didn’t feel like talking so I texted back “I’m in bed.” Really, I wasn’t in bed yet. It occurred to me that I had lied. I have taken the Lord’s name in vain…instead of saying “Oh my gosh, I wonder why…” And I also participated in some inappropriate conversations with my co-worker, including gossip, and another time, I agreed with a co-worker regarding a lewd comment, rather than become “Holier than thou.”

From a strictly Protestant background, these are issues that I would have in the past, simply prayed “Oops, Sorry God, please forgive me, I will sincerely try harder to avoid these behaviors in the future,” End of story. God is a forgiving God, and his grace is sufficient. AND I do feel contrite for these things.

I don’t want to start obsessing over my every petty wrongdoing, over-thinking every day of my life, or feeling like I should be going to confession every single week. At the same time, I don’t want to fall into a habit of minimizing behaviors that are not pleasing to God.

(name removed by moderator)ut please?

 

[MaryEstelle2]

Shame on you. We will all beat you over the head with a stick. God’s gonna get you for that. Oops, did I say that? Well, seriously Sainthood hardly happens overnight, but you have taken the first step. Just do your honest best. It won’t hurt to go to confession again and voice your concerns to Fr. Peace.

 

[Reuben_J]

Rome was not built in a day. Living the faith is a journey. There be obstacles along the way, no doubt, but our vision is to finish the race. As long as we go on running or walking, that when we fall we will pick ourselves up again, God would be with us, to pick us when necessary.

What you mentioned are obviously venial sins but of course there is no excuse to commit them. We have to live with this reality and in time we will be smarter and become purer, and such sins probably will be less and less as we strive to be perfect like the Father.

Have a blessed journey in the faith.

 

[Limoncello4021]

The closer you get to God, the more light He gives to the conscience. So you will be more conscious of sin. It is a good thing! I’d suggest going to confession at least monthly. Do an evening examination of conscience and start noting a pattern of venial sins and working on a plan (much prayer) to eradicate them.

 

[Vico]

…
(name removed by moderator)ut please?

Catechism

1458 Without being strictly necessary, confession of everyday faults (venial sins) is nevertheless strongly recommended by the Church.59 Indeed the regular confession of our venial sins helps us form our conscience, fight against evil tendencies, let ourselves be healed by Christ and progress in the life of the Spirit. By receiving more frequently through this sacrament the gift of the Father’s mercy, we are spurred to be merciful as he is merciful:60

Whoever confesses his sins . . . is already working with God. God indicts your sins; if you also indict them, you are joined with God. Man and sinner are, so to speak, two realities: when you hear “man” - this is what God has made; when you hear “sinner” - this is what man himself has made. Destroy what you have made, so that God may save what he has made. . . . When you begin to abhor what you have made, it is then that your good works are beginning, since you are accusing yourself of your evil works. The beginning of good works is the confession of evil works. You do the truth and come to the light.61

1863 Venial sin weakens charity; it manifests a disordered affection for created goods; it impedes the soul’s progress in the exercise of the virtues and the practice of the moral good; it merits temporal punishment. Deliberate and unrepented venial sin disposes us little by little to commit mortal sin. However venial sin does not break the covenant with God. With God’s grace it is humanly reparable. "Venial sin does not deprive the sinner of sanctifying grace, friendship with God, charity, and consequently eternal happiness."134

While he is in the flesh, man cannot help but have at least some light sins. But do not despise these sins which we call “light”: if you take them for light when you weigh them, tremble when you count them. A number of light objects makes a great mass; a number of drops fills a river; a number of grains makes a heap. What then is our hope? Above all, confession.135

 

[Maximilian75]

So here’s the issue: in the past week a friend texted me and I was tired and didn’t feel like talking so I texted back “I’m in bed.” Really, I wasn’t in bed yet. It occurred to me that I had lied. I have taken the Lord’s name in vain…instead of saying “Oh my gosh, I wonder why…” And I also participated in some inappropriate conversations with my co-worker, including gossip, and another time, I agreed with a co-worker regarding a lewd comment, rather than become “Holier than thou.”

IMO, these are all venial sins, absolvable through holy water, the Confietior at Mass, or the reception of Holy Communion.

I don’t want to start … feeling like I should be going to confession every single week.

You say that like it’s a bad thing…
Frequent Confession and Holy Communion are two of the straightest, surest paths to holiness.

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[Tis_Bearself]

First, the fact that you go to confession now doesn’t mean that you need to stop expressing immediate contrition to God when you know you messed up.

I have a bad day, I call a service person at the phone company and she doesn’t handle my request very well, I get mad and I unload on her and hang up. An hour later I feel bad for my lack of patience and I say, "God, I’m really sorry I lost my temper because I was frustrated at that lady. I will try to be more patient next time and not take my bad day out on another person. Please help me and send me the grace to do better. " I will still mention it the next time I go to confession, because it’s recommended that one does so (this was edited, my first statement was incorrect), but I don’t need to wait till then to talk to God about it.

Second, confession is only required when we are conscious of committing a GRAVE sin. It’s up to you in developing your conscience and in learning from the Catechism, etc to understand what is “grave matter”. Things like what you describe don’t sound like particularly “grave matter” to me; they are venial sins that can be absolved in the ways the posters above already stated, and bad habits that you might want to avoid so they don’t get worse, and you want to confess them the next time you go to confession, but I wouldn’t feel a need to rush to confession the next day in order to make sure I was fully absolved.

Since you are new to confession, I would suggest that maybe you ask your priest about how frequently you should go to confession. In my experience they will usually say once every 1-2 months. Those of us who do particular devotions will often go once or twice a month in order to fulfill the requirements of the devotion.

 

[castlet]

Thank you for your reply. I appreciate you explaining that “holy water, the Confietior at Mass, or the reception of Holy Communion” are all methods of absolution for venial sins. These are different avenues than the standard Protestant “Confession to God directly,” although clearly, with the same result. The more I understand Catholic teaching, the more complete and beautiful it becomes. The Catholic faith is very alive and interactive, filled with ancient church tradition that is as relevant now as it was back then. I appreciate all of you who are there to support and advise me as I go through this paradigm shift into the wholeness of Christianity. Regarding Confession, I thought it was a great thing…not a bad thing, but I want to avoid falling into a continuous sense of condemnation; a state previously familiar to me in an Evangelical community. I simply don’t believe that God wants us to be in a constant state of guilt and fear; I have shed that perspective and am getting to know God as a loving father, and understanding sin as something I wish to avoid because I do not want to grieve my loving father. The Catholic faith has brought balance and sensibility to some of my previous thinking, and as I continue to learn, I feel blessed to do so within this community.

 

[BridgetN]

I had my first confession last week, and left there feeling great, and light and free. I also thought to myself “I’m a good person, dedicated to God and Church, and surely it will be awhile before I’ll need to go to confession again.” So here’s the issue: in the past week a friend texted me and I was tired and didn’t feel like talking so I texted back “I’m in bed.” Really, I wasn’t in bed yet. It occurred to me that I had lied. I have taken the Lord’s name in vain…instead of saying “Oh my gosh, I wonder why…” And I also participated in some inappropriate conversations with my co-worker, including gossip, and another time, I agreed with a co-worker regarding a lewd comment, rather than become “Holier than thou.”

Don’t go crazy with trying to be perfect all at once. Slow and steady wins the race.
You should confess what you mentioned here, and try to do better in the future. But if they weren’t mortal sins you don’t have to go to confession every week.

A big help in reforming your life is to say the Rosary everyday, the practice is strongly recommended by the Saints. St. Louis D’Montfort wrote a great inspirational book on the Rosary in The Secret of the Rosary
I recommend it.

 

[crenfro]

Hello.

Congratulations on your 1st Confession!

There are lots of good comments in this thread, and I’d also like to add that it’s better to focus on how much you are trying to love others rather than how many times you are falling short.

Sometimes too it’s how you say something that can make a difference.

My two cents.

 

[Canvas]

Stop obsessing over minor (venial) sins. You are on the path to scrupulosity. That is a very dangerous and awful state to be in.

From your post, I don’t see anything that would be considered a mortal sin. A white lie—barely even a lie, if you were going to go to bed soon. Some idle gossip.

Besides the the Confietior, you could pray an Act of Contrition once a day, for any sins you may have committed. There is nothing “Protestant” about praying to God directly for foregiveness or pardon.

 

[MaryEstelle2]

See? We took away the big stick that was ready to wack you over the head and cause you grief. Now you can proceed with joy and love and be fearless in your faith. Trust in the good advice and intent of all who have responded to your post. Your days will go better and we have thrown that big stick into the wood chipper. Peace.

 

[RandomAlias]

I don’t want to start obsessing over my every petty wrongdoing, over-thinking every day of my life, or feeling like I should be going to confession every single week. At the same time, I don’t want to fall into a habit of minimizing behaviors that are not pleasing to God.

Sounds like you have a good understanding. As you said, don’t obsess and don’t minimize. God bless you!

 

[ascetic]

I’m pretty sure the Eucharist pardons venial sins. Someone will correct me if I’m wrong. But hey, why not go to confession? It’s something you never had before, right? I’m a cradle Catholic, but I can see the happiness there. Just don’t go gettin’ all scrupulous like! :cowboy_hat_face: