A question for converts...either into the Church or from it

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ralphinal

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It seems like when someone enters the Catholic Church, they have nothing bad to say about their old denomination. It also seems like when some leave the Catholic Church, they have nothing good to say about it. Why? I know not all former Catholics are like that, but there are many who are. What is the reason? I would like non-Catholics and converts to give some reasons before the cradle Catholics jump in. Why the venom?
 
Good question and in my experience, you’re right. My mom left the Catholic Church and really hated it for years. In her case, she blamed the Church for her pain and tragedy. Why? Because it’s easier to blame the RCC than to accept things on faith. I believe anger gave her back a sense of control that she lost when bad things happened.

I believe people want to punish the Church but because it’s so impenetrable and they really can’t, they hate it. It’s like when I yell at my daughters when they make a mess. I don’t do it because it helps them or even makes the situation better. I do it because I want everyone else to feel as bad and emotionally overwrought as I do. I am trying to ensure that if I’m upset, everyone else is as well.

Now, suppose I am mad about a situation and I can’t bring anyone else down. Suppose I cannot adversely affect another with my anger, what do I have left to do? I can either let go of my anger and accept the situation as is or hate the other people for not letting me control their emotional state. Many people opt for the latter because it’s very easy to do and involves no humility or self deprecation.

This is why we Protestants don’t hate our Churches when we convert to Catholicism. Because you see, the Protestant Churches really don’t want you to become Catholic. (I know) They call you and talk to you, trying to keep you on their team. Thus they make you feel important and no one hates a group who caters to your ego. The Catholic Church isn’t like that in my estimation. they seem to have a, “here we are. Take it or leave it.” mentality which makes the decision to leave all yours. They really don’t cater to a person’s ego and so it’s easy to hate such an organization.

This is my opinion, mind you, but I do have some personal experience with this.
 
Speaking from outside the whole thing. I notice anyone who “leaves” a church generally doenst have alot good to say about it.

otherwise they wouldnt have left.

Ive heard that when you leave you are supposed to try to make amends before leaving. and if you dont your new church is supposed to encourage you to go back and make amends before you switch.

Dont know if Catholics do that, but I imagine there is something similar.

🙂
 
maybe because one is leaving with anger, and the other is coming with happiness.
 
ralphinal said:
It seems like when someone enters the Catholic Church, they have nothing bad to say about their old denomination. It also seems like when some leave the Catholic Church, they have nothing good to say about it. Why? I know not all former Catholics are like that, but there are many who are. What is the reason? I would like non-Catholics and converts to give some reasons before the cradle Catholics jump in. Why the venom?
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I have known many former Roman Catholics, at the job and in the neighborhood (some family as well).

Many are not actually Protestants today (although I have had JW relatives and acquaintances who were formerly Roman Catholic), they are mostly non-practicing Christians, agnostics and even atheists. (Surprisingly, most professed atheists I have known were educated in Catholic schools.)

Yes, I do sometimes notice a sense of anger, or revulsion or even betrayal in some of them. As far as their emotion is concerned, psychologically they appear to be a symptoms of disappointment, like finding out Santa isn’t real after all. The Roman Catholic church does make big claims for itself (and boldly peculiar devotional practices), when it does not appear to deliver on those claims, people who had put much into that can react in a classical, even predictable, fashion.

Protestant churches do not make such high falutin’ claims at all, and except in the more fundamentalist crowd are pretty relativistic over doctrine and affiliation, easily transfering from one to another.

I don’t believe that former Roman Catholics are routinely taught this “bitterness” in most cases (although some astute non-Catholic evangelists will pick up on the signals and make an advantage out of it), because it is equally as common among people who do not convert to anything else but simply lose faith, they often just reject all Christianity, and to those particular individuals Roman Catholicism is Christianity.

However, I don’t believe that it is routinely discouraged either. In politics and religion bitterness and resentment over one’s former affiliation is often accepted by others as an affirmation of their own position, even if they don’t approve of such behavior for themselves.

Michael
 
I left the Seventh Day Adventist denomination and after a short while became Catholic. I was never angry with the SDA denomination, but I feel very sorry for them and their entrenched ignorance of the Truth and their utter refusal to see it. I thank God every day that He brought me to His One True Church.

I think the reason many former Catholics are so angry with the Church is because they know leaving was wrong and their anger justifies their choice.
 
ralphinal said:
It seems like when someone enters the Catholic Church, they have nothing bad to say about their old denomination. It also seems like when some leave the Catholic Church, they have nothing good to say about it. Why? I know not all former Catholics are like that, but there are many who are. What is the reason? I would like non-Catholics and converts to give some reasons before the cradle Catholics jump in. Why the venom?
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I think it is because for many of us, including me once upon a time, become evangelical because we become convinced that the Catholic Church deceives people into trusting in their own works and righteousnes for their salvation and end up in hell for it. While the free gift of Salvation (as Evangelicals mistakenly believes the Catholic church doesn’t teach) is in Christ alone. So the animosity is often because people honestly believe Rome is leading many to hell. If you happen to believe that, how can you not be outraged at the Church?

Of course it is not true, but recent generations in the Catholic Church and hideous catechesis bare as much blame as the churches that steal catholics away. They do offer something that the Church forgot about for a while so I don’t think those who leave should be judged harshly for the failures of their local parish etc. I know I had a lot of questions that my CCD teachers and Priest could not answer and I was left adrift until someone came along and told me about Jesus at a time when the church was indeed an obstacle for me. So it definately left me angry.

So really people feel angry when THE CHURCH fails to do her job and her estranged grandkids are left to pick up the pieces for a lot of people.

When we re-vert or when someone converts, it is because we realize we are usually not leaving our first love behind (Jesus) but because we want a deeper experience of Him and we realize that is found fully in His church, warts and all. But for so many of us, we had to leave the Church to find Jesus and then at some point we are mature enough to come back. Catholicism is a desert without a true relationship with our Lord. It is an oasis with one.

Mel
 
ralphinal said:
It seems like when someone enters the Catholic Church, they have nothing bad to say about their old denomination. It also seems like when some leave the Catholic Church, they have nothing good to say about it. Why? I know not all former Catholics are like that, but there are many who are. What is the reason? I would like non-Catholics and converts to give some reasons before the cradle Catholics jump in. Why the venom?
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In my experience, and from my observation, its because there are more bad experiences within catholicism compared to the outside.
 
AgnosTheist said:
In my experience, and from my observation, its because there are more bad experiences within catholicism compared to the outside.
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That’s from your own experience which limited to your own prospective. For most of us Devout Catholics, there are a lot of positive experience we Catholics have inside. The mere fact that in 2005 our Catholic population increased from 17 million. In 2004 it was 12 million…
 
Mannyfit75 said:
That’s from your own experience which limited to your own prospective. For most of us Devout Catholics, there are a lot of positive experience we Catholics have inside. The mere fact that in 2005 our Catholic population increased from 17 million. In 2004 it was 12 million…
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Are those US figures? World wide, we increased from 950 million to 1.3 billion over that period of time. A lot of the increase is no doubt due to children being born and baptized, but we also have hundreds of adult converts every year in our Diocese through the RCIA process, as well, and I know that many other Dioceses also have hundreds of people coming in through the RCIA process. 👍
 
Good posts everyone. I think that this discussion is insightful. From my point of view, many who leave the Catholic church are already lapsed anyway. They are no longer practicing and when they start looking into other churches, they are replacing something that they have not been a part of in a while. That might cause some of the issue. They may feel that the Catholic Church did not give them what they needed when they had not looked there in a while.

Many Protestant converts into the Church already have a strong faith life. In fact, that faith leads them to the Church. They are adding to something that they are a part of.
 
ralphinal said:
It seems like when someone enters the Catholic Church, they have nothing bad to say about their old denomination. It also seems like when some leave the Catholic Church, they have nothing good to say about it. Why? I know not all former Catholics are like that, but there are many who are. What is the reason? I would like non-Catholics and converts to give some reasons before the cradle Catholics jump in. Why the venom?
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You haven’t looked at enough of a population sample. I left mormonism and was bitter and ANGRY, at the religion, at the people in it, at my parents for raising me as a mormon. Angry at God for oh so many things but mainly for rejecting me. I rejected Him back. So there.

It took me many years, but I have worked through most of that anger. My venom-spouting days are over. And I like my parents again. 🙂

That isn’t to say all is peace and quiet. Some mormons have a tendency to judge me and tell me things like I am an a apostate who God will judge harshly. The Spirit of God has left me, to never return. God rejects me for raising my daughter as an atheist. Some of this comes from my parents. But, I understand now that this is a momron belief. Not mine. And that they are wrong about God.

I find it hard to be angry at something I don’t believe. More like, I feel bad for mormons, that this is what they believe about God. So, I can get angry at mormonism sometimes, for teaching me, and my family, that God is so full of absolute rejection.
 
ralphinal said:
Good posts everyone. I think that this discussion is insightful. From my point of view, many who leave the Catholic church are already lapsed anyway. They are no longer practicing and when they start looking into other churches, they are replacing something that they have not been a part of in a while. That might cause some of the issue. They may feel that the Catholic Church did not give them what they needed when they had not looked there in a while.

Many Protestant converts into the Church already have a strong faith life. In fact, that faith leads them to the Church. They are adding to something that they are a part of.
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I totally agree with you. Most people that turn away never really were “Catholic” to begin with. And I would never have begun to explore Catholicism if faith didn’t matter. I think there are too many Christmas Catholics who take faith for granted.
 
I have been around lots of people who were raised Catholic and were bitter about:
unclear or bewildering religious education they were not ready to comprehend
authority figures, esp. parents, who expected more from kids than from themselves (so the kids saw it)
;ack of personal attention in school
harsh punishment for odd things, sometimes for things the children had no control over.
I know lots of people who were raised Protestant and are bitter about:
arbitrary changing doctrines
expectations of a great deal of mission-type labor from children too young to understand and decide fort hemselves
adults who act more enthusiastic than others in church but are cheating in business or hurting their families
expectations that children will endure extreme disciplines and privations without understanding why
anti-intellectualism.
I wonder if this is the kind of thing Jesus meant about offending children.
 
ralphinal said:
It seems like when someone enters the Catholic Church, they have nothing bad to say about their old denomination. It also seems like when some leave the Catholic Church, they have nothing good to say about it. Why? I know not all former Catholics are like that, but there are many who are. What is the reason? I would like non-Catholics and converts to give some reasons before the cradle Catholics jump in. Why the venom?
Click to expand...
I think it has something to do with the fact that ex-Catholics left their Church because of a personal vendetta with the priest, or another person, they say they don’t want to go to confession, don’t like this or that, etc… NOT DOCTRINAL REASONS. But the ex-Protestants usually leave when they care to study Church history, theology, and deal with “Catholic” verses in the Bible such as those in John 6, the Pauline epistles, James’ epistle, etc, so, usually, they DID LEAVE FOR DOCTRINAL REASONS & HISTORICAL EVIDENCE for Catholicism.
 
Rebecca,
I wish you and your family all the best. I think that you may be a good example. If it is not too personal, please elaborate on the feelings of rejection you felt from God. The rejection from members of your former faith is not surprising. What lead you to leave?

To me, the whole thing is like a child riding a bike. They start with a tricycle, then a bikle with training wheels, then one without, then a multi-speed road or mountain bike. It seems like those who leave the Catholic Church never got past the training wheels and are mad that they couldn’t get the 21 speed. They leave the church and find one that has something that they need. They hate the Church for not giving them the best bike when they weren’t ready for it at the time. The Protestants seem to be closer to the 10-speed and want the 21 speed mountain bike. They are thankful to the previous church for getting them to the 10-speed, but they wanted more.
 
Marsha_Adams said:
I left the Seventh Day Adventist denomination and after a short while became Catholic. I was never angry with the SDA denomination, but I feel very sorry for them and their entrenched ignorance of the Truth and their utter refusal to see it. I thank God every day that He brought me to His One True Church.

I think the reason many former Catholics are so angry with the Church is because they know leaving was wrong and their anger justifies their choice.
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In our class for adults for Baptism, we had two of them totally surprised when we taught them quoting from the Bible. Some of the things they were told in their churches were, The Catholic Church discourages their followers from reading the Bible. The Catholics worship Mary. To one adult, her sister told her that she is now lost (because she was joining the Catholic Church). According to her sister all those who are in the Catholic church are not SAVED!

I have realised one thing that the different Non Catholic churches throughout the world have nothing in common except that all of them are against the Catholic Church in general.

Warm regards,
Fredrick Correa, Nairobi

When wicked men blaspheme thee, I’ll love and bless thy name!
 
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