A Question for Mamas Who Veil

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My husband and I are expecting our first child in January, a little girl! 🙂 As we were in church this weekend, I was thinking about our daughter and having her at Mass with us. I have been wearing a veil at Mass for the last three years and would love for my daughter to do the same. Do any of you mothers who veil also veil your daughters? Do they wear mantillas or hats? At what age did you start having them veil? Also, I wear a black veil and would probably want her to wear a white one. I can already hear the sweet little question, “Mommy, why is mine white and yours black?” Of course, I’d explain to her about white representing purity, etc., but what is the response for why married women wear black?

Thanks for any (name removed by moderator)ut you have!
 
I think you’ll get more answers if you have this question moved to the Traditional Catholics forum. I have seen some discussions of this topic there in the past. You might even want to cruise through their past threads to see what sort of discussions this question as generated, before you post there.
 
Well, I’m not a mama, but I do veil. 🙂 And I’ve done so since I was a little girl.

I’d let her pick what she would like, personally. I LOVE mantillas and do not like to wear hats. They’re feminine and they fold up easily. They also make these chapel veils which are circles of lace that sit atop the head, perfect for little girls, and can be held on with bobby pins or a pretty headband. If she likes hats, those are another acceptable option, as are scarves.

Color doesn’t matter. It used to be traditional for the married or widowed women to wear black, and the virgins to wear white. Not anymore. I see both wearing white, black, pink, blue… So she can wear any color she wants, really. I wear a black mantilla because I have dark hair and I just prefer more somber colors. I’ve seen married moms wearing white.

You can just tell her, if you do want to do white for her and black for yourself, that married ladies wear black, and unmarried girls wear white. Really, I can only assume it was done that way so the young men can scope out the available girls…and since white is the symbol of virginity/purity, it seems like it was the logical color to choose. (Actually I believe blue was, initially, but that was before the mantilla.)

In the long run, color doesn’t matter. 👍
 
Pax Christi!

As a non-female, I must say I think veils look great! I wish all ladies would veil!

Maybe different colors for the liturgical colors of the day.

Veil on, ladies!

God bless.
 
I only have boys so far, but if I do have girls, I would like for them to have that opportunity, as well. I’ve thought that while young, doing something like wide headbands or scarves might be a good start, and then later (maybe starting with their First Communion) they could “graduate” to a veil. 🙂

(Just as a practical note, I’ve found that I had to alter the way I wear veils, or switch to scarves and headbands, to help with grabby little hands. This might influence your choices for very little ones, too. ;))
 
mrsbeers said:
My husband and I are expecting our first child in January, a little girl! 🙂 As we were in church this weekend, I was thinking about our daughter and having her at Mass with us. I have been wearing a veil at Mass for the last three years and would love for my daughter to do the same. Do any of you mothers who veil also veil your daughters? Do they wear mantillas or hats? At what age did you start having them veil? Also, I wear a black veil and would probably want her to wear a white one. I can already hear the sweet little question, “Mommy, why is mine white and yours black?” Of course, I’d explain to her about white representing purity, etc., but what is the response for why married women wear black?

Thanks for any (name removed by moderator)ut you have!
Click to expand...
So you’re not pure? :confused:

Having sex with your husband doesn’t make you impure…
 
I don’t veil, but I think it is a beautiful custom! If you start your daughter early, she will definitely become accustomed to it at a young age. Good for you! 🙂
 
I’m a Papa, for full disclosure, but I don’t expect a mantilla until they can keep it on with minimal effort on their part. When they are really young (1-3), I wouldn’t even try it but all kids are different. Posted from Catholic.com App for Android
 
JustPink said:
So you’re not pure? :confused:

Having sex with your husband doesn’t make you impure…
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I believe I originally read this in one of Jason Evert’s books, but my understanding has been that before marriage we are called to purity and chastity. Virgins retain purity. Virginity is not expected in marriage, so therefore, married people are not called to purity but are still called to be chaste.

In what terms do you view/describe purity?
 
mrsbeers said:
I believe I originally read this in one of Jason Evert’s books, but my understanding has been that before marriage we are called to purity and chastity. Virgins retain purity. Virginity is not expected in marriage, so therefore, married people are not called to purity but are still called to be chaste.

In what terms do you view/describe purity?
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I just don’t see the virtue of chastity/purity as being the same thing as virginity… because like I said, having sex with a spouse doesn’t make you unchaste/impure, since it’s what you’re supposed to do when you’re married. Perhaps it’s just a matter of semantics.
 
Well, to the OP’s question about age, I don’t see any little girls under five or so wearing veils, but there are not that many kids at the mass I usually go to.

There is no big deal made of out color either for the women, but I don’t see much beyond white, off white, or black. Several married women wear white, or off white. Older women tend to wear the black more.

Young girls of eight or nine have something like a mantilla attached to a headband, to help hold it in place. Years ago, only a few of the older women wore a veil, now it’s about half.

While I don’t think it is possible to overvalue virginity until marriage, or the Biblical call for chastity, I do think people can develop an unhealthy pride over this, and this lack of modesty and humility kind of taints the beauty of keeping this commandment. I kind of hedge at the thought of using a veil to somehow announce one is a virgin. I would discourage my own daughter from doing so.
 
For those wearing veils, what proportion of the women at the church services you attend also wear veils?

I must admit I can’t recall seeing a veil in church for perhaps 40 years!
 
I veil, and my 3-year-old does as well… When she feels like it.

For her, it is more a matter of imitating mommy than it is a personal devotion. However, I don’t push her to wear (or not wear) it. When she’s old enough to understand what veiling is truly for, the choice will be hers without any pressure from me.

I made her a light pink veil with white edging. When she asked why mine wasn’t pink like hers, I just said that I’m older and it wouldn’t be appropriate. That seemed to work.

My 16 month old sees me and my 3 year old veiling and she’s demanded a veil a few times too. The clincher is that she’s still practically bald, so she doesn’t even have hair to cover!
 
Rau said:
For those wearing veils, what proportion of the women at the church services you attend also wear veils?

I must admit I can’t recall seeing a veil in church for perhaps 40 years!
Click to expand...
It varies wildly. At the Tridentine/EF Masses I’ve attended, I’d guess that about 70% of the women veil. At some more traditional Novus Ordo Masses, I’ve seen about 40%. At the churches I currently attend (to which we go depends on scheduling that particular day), I’m one of perhaps 5-10 women at a given Sunday Mass at which there are about 500-700 attendees. I suspect that it also varies based on region and local culture/custom. I live in Texas, FYI, and my observations are based on attending Mass in northern and central Texas in or near fairly large cities.
 
I too would be interested in learning where veiling (NOT “ceiling”’ Auto Correct!) is commonplace. Like a PP, I don’t recall seeing any veils or mantillas in many, many years, other than one older woman in my church who is an immigrant.

I attend three churches here in the NE on a more or less regular basis and we always attend Mass when traveling, so I I have had an exposure to a lot of churches and cannot recall seeing women wearing veils. Of course, Tridentine and NO Masses are very rare here also.
 
On Palm Sunday this year, I was traveling with my boyfriend and we went to mass in Nashville, and there were about fifteen women wearing veils. I’m new to Catholicism, but it was an in-English mass, so I don’t think it was any of the special forms you all are talking about. I don’t see any veils at my parish though, so it was a surprise to see so many. I wondered if we had accidentally stumbled onto a Latin mass and I was committing a grave error in having my head uncovered, at least until more women arrived.

assumptionchurchnashville.org/
 
Rau said:
For those wearing veils, what proportion of the women at the church services you attend also wear veils?

I must admit I can’t recall seeing a veil in church for perhaps 40 years!
Click to expand...
We attend an OF parish and I will see about 10-20 headcoverings at Sunday Mass. We are a very large parish so the percentage is small (probably under 5%), but it’s mostly younger women who do and the number is increasing.
 
We live in the deep South and belong to a large parish. Folks here tend to be conservative, and we have a large number of converts in most parishes. I can recall seeing 2 ladies in our parish who either wear a hat or chapel veil consistently, and an occasional lady with a head covering if we attend other parishes.

There is a Mass in the EF held in one parish north of the city on the first Sunday of each month, and I imagine most or all of the women who attend wear a head covering.
 
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Rau:
For those wearing veils, what proportion of the women at the church services you attend also wear veils?

I must admit I can’t recall seeing a veil in church for perhaps 40 years!
Click to expand...
99.9% wear them in our parish.

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