A question for the Mormons

[PattyPryor]

Hi!
I have a question. Do you feel if someone leaves the LDS church they still have a longing to go back and that is why they ‘bash’ or hate it? I was always wondering because the exmember will say they hate the LDS church but keep talking about it. I was wondering what you all thought through your point of view. I also have to meantion WOW did mormon.org change! my LDS friend was on it today and I was shocked how different it looked.

I know non-mormons will post here and please understand I am just trying to see their point of view thanks and God bless

 

[zerinus]

Hi!
I have a question. Do you feel if someone leaves the LDS church they still have a longing to go back and that is why they ‘bash’ or hate it? I was always wondering because the exmember will say they hate the LDS church but keep talking about it. I was wondering what you all thought through your point of view. I also have to meantion WOW did mormon.org change! my LDS friend was on it today and I was shocked how different it looked.

I know non-mormons will post here and please understand I am just trying to see their point of view thanks and God bless

The majority of Mormons who leave the Church, or who are exed, do not bash it or hate it; and they are the ones who are most likely to return to it at a later stage. Those who leave it and then turn around and bash it and hate it become fully-fledged apostates, and they are the ones who are least likely to ever return to it.

 

[PattyPryor]

The majority of Mormons who leave the Church, or who are exed, do not bash it or hate it; and they are the ones who are most likely to return to it at a later stage. Those who leave it and then turn around and bash it and hate it become fully-fledged apostates, and they are the ones who are least likely to ever return to it.

Wow that is really interesting

 

[SirThomasMore]

The majority of Mormons who leave the Church, or who are exed, do not bash it or hate it; and they are the ones who are most likely to return to it at a later stage. Those who leave it and then turn around and bash it and hate it become fully-fledged apostates, and they are the ones who are least likely to ever return to it.

can you post any statistics to support your comments?

 

[Caprica]

Hi!
I have a question. Do you feel if someone leaves the LDS church they still have a longing to go back and that is why they ‘bash’ or hate it? I was always wondering because the exmember will say they hate the LDS church but keep talking about it. I was wondering what you all thought through your point of view. I also have to meantion WOW did mormon.org change! my LDS friend was on it today and I was shocked how different it looked.

I know non-mormons will post here and please understand I am just trying to see their point of view thanks and God bless

I would slightly modify what zerinus said and say that most ex-Mormons (or ex-any religion) leave that religion alone and do not right books, articles, forum posts, etc. for extensive periods of time after they leave that religion. Even then, there are many ex-Mormons that, while not believing in the beliefs of the Church, can still respectfully discuss differences, why they left, etc. Then there are the few inflammatory people that use arguments that can be used against their own new religion (if they belong to one) and say and do anything just to demean The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or whatever religion they left for that matter. A clear example of this is on the CARM forums. When you look at the Catholic and Mormon sub-forums, you see that some of the ex-Catholics and ex-Mormons are the loudest and most offensive posters there, and present themselves as authorities on what Catholics and Mormons “really” believe. I know that not all ex-Catholics or ex-Mormons are like that, and such people are best ignored.

And yes, Mormon.org has changed! I love the new version. The LDS.org website is also changing as well.

 

[TikiTokiguy]

A clear example of this is on the CARM forums. When you look at the Catholic and Mormon sub-forums, you see that some of the ex-Catholics and ex-Mormons are the loudest and most offensive posters there, and present themselves as authorities on what Catholics and Mormons “really” believe. I know that not all ex-Catholics or ex-Mormons are like that, and such people are best ignored.

And yes, Mormon.org has changed! I love the new version. The LDS.org website is also changing as well.

Perhaps the ex-mormons are most vocal because after years in the church they finally wake up and see the truth and are heartbroken about what they truly find. That’s me - heartbroken about the truth. Mormon.org hasn’t changed enough. They need to be truthful to the women - you will share your husband in the next life. Also they need to put down on their site - “The Church is for married couples, kids and teens, but not singles 30 or over.” They really shouldn’t hide those beliefs from prospective members.

 

[MelanieAnne]

Hi!
I have a question. Do you feel if someone leaves the LDS church they still have a longing to go back and that is why they ‘bash’ or hate it? I was always wondering because the exmember will say they hate the LDS church but keep talking about it. I was wondering what you all thought through your point of view. I also have to meantion WOW did mormon.org change! my LDS friend was on it today and I was shocked how different it looked.

I know non-mormons will post here and please understand I am just trying to see their point of view thanks and God bless

I seriously doubt that if someone “bashes” a faith that they left that it is because they are longing to return. I suspect that they find fault or “bash” because they have found fault with that faith.

PLUS “bashing” is a very subjective term. One person could say someone was “bashing” something, and another person might describe the same action as someone being “truthful”. So the entire idea of “bashing” is fraught with problems. So maybe it’s not a good word to use in order to expose truth?

The key, Patty, is to discern the TRUTH.

 

[RebeccaJ]

I’d say it’s the LDS who can’t leave us alone.

Seriously, they never stop knocking on my door, and here, they never stop coming around to tell us what hateful liars we are.

But no, Patty Pryor, there is no reason to return to Mormonism. Maybe you are speaking for yourself.

By the looks of it, mormon.org got an update advisory from Edelman that their website should look more like yahoo’s.

 

[PattyPryor]

Haha sorryI am not looking to go to the LDS faith. I just had a question because I know a few people who have left and a few that are still involved in it. I am a Catholic and don’t plan on changing. I would not have gone to college to learn about Theology just so I could throw it away.

I just wanted to know their point of view. No need to assume or make comments as though you know me or my relationship with Jesus. Personally in my own darn way I don’t think we should be mean to anyone. What is the point. We hate too much and are just so sad for all the other faiths that choose not to be Catholic. Would it be nice if everyone believed the same thing? of course but I also live in reality where no matter how hard we try everyone will not believe as we do. Only God can truly judge and I told myself I would n olonger judge a persons beliefs because you don’t know what path they are on… you may never know what has gone on in their lives to make them choose what religion they choose. I’m sorry but I am just so tired of people trying to think they are ‘right’. I believe in a loving God who accepts us all.

So please just leave the side comments aside and try not to hurt people. Expecially me. And yes I am talking to the Catholics on this thread. I am asking the Mormons the question and although your comments are nice and fine I don’t need to be told I am questioning my faith. Thank you

 

[PattyPryor]

I’d say it’s the LDS who can’t leave us alone.

Seriously, they never stop knocking on my door, and here, they never stop coming around to tell us what hateful liars we are.

But no, Patty Pryor, there is no reason to return to Mormonism. Maybe you are speaking for yourself.

By the looks of it, mormon.org got an update advisory from Edelman that their website should look more like yahoo’s.

You can call the Church and ask to be removed from the missionaires list and just ignore them if they are aalling you a lier. If you are not a lier then why worry or get upset about it it is a online forum. Ever since I got sick I choose not to let things get me down or upset and I tr to see the good in everyone. I’m sorry I am not trying to hurt your feelings I’m just saying you can remove your name.

 

[RebeccaJ]

You can call the Church and ask to be removed from the missionaires list and just ignore them if they are aalling you a lier. If you are not a lier then why worry or get upset about it it is a online forum. Ever since I got sick I choose not to let things get me down or upset and I tr to see the good in everyone. I’m sorry I am not trying to hurt your feelings I’m just saying you can remove your name.

Wishful thinking. As long as I have LDS family, that family will keep sending Mormons to my house. Of course I see the good in my family. I just wish they weren’t Mormons!

 

[PattyPryor]

Wishful thinking. As long as I have LDS family, that family will keep sending Mormons to my house. Of course I see the good in my family. I just wish they weren’t Mormons!

Oh I always forget your family is LDS sorry RebeccaJ- I mean no harm to you:blush:

 

[Tmaque]

People bash their ex-religions for numerous reasons. Some feel guilty, some feel betrayed, some really want to “save” others who they feel are being misled. How about just making sure we never bash other people’s faith and gently discourage those who do it?

Most LDS are wonderful people. Most of my family and neighbors are Mormons and I get along wonderfully with them. Most don’t try to convert you. They tried to re-convert me for a while but don’t anymore because I know my faith very well and can shoot down all of their arguments and that makes them uncomfortable.

We should all be apologists in some form.

 

[Murdock]

PattyPryor

There is a new CAF social group called Mormons/LDS to Catholic. Look for it under New Groups. It is a support and apologetics group. You might want to ask your question to that group. I do not know what they have to say about “bashing”, but the group’s founder, mguthrie, states in the introduction that the group will help people “to learn how to combat feelings of wanting to return” and “how to cope with your feelings of the loneliness you have felt since leaving the LDS Church”.

A while back, a former Mormon, I think BartBurkND, who is an academic librarian at Notre Dame, started three CAF threads which were all devoted to publicizing articles or theories attacking the Book of Mormon. As one of his threads went on for a while, his anger seemed to fade, and he eventually posted that, while he was happy that he was a Catholic, he missed the community of the Church.

Some time ago now, the late Elder Neal R. Maxwell, who was a truly wonderful, wonderful Apostle, whose wisdom constantly confounded but always reassured, and who died much to young, gave a talk, which I assume is published in Ensign and Liahona, in which he asked the question: “Why cannot those who leave the Church leave the Church alone?”

I have been beating around the bush here just a bit because I know what I am going to say is going to infuriate some people and likely provoke some posts about what I say that I am not going to like reading.

The answer is that your question has hit the nail on the head. Those who leave the Church often feel an intense longing to return. Those who leave the Church often feel a devastating loss of community. Those who reject the Church soon enough realize that there is neither any equivalent to it nor any substitute for it. This is true both for those who find new churches and those who leave religious life altogether. Many return. The Church facilitates this through the Home Teachers, who maintain contact and give continued assurance of the love of the Church and the ward family. I know that all of these things are true because I have had the unfortunate experience of living through them.

Are many (NOT ALL) of the former Mormons, who are “bashers” of the Church, using their calumny to try to relieve their doubts, calm their fears, ignore their void and anaesthetize their sense of loss? You had better believe it, because that is exactly the case, and it is the bashers who are the ones really suffering from the bashing.

Murdock

 

[SirThomasMore]

PattyPryor

I have been beating around the bush here just a bit because I know what I am going to say is going to infuriate some people and likely provoke some posts about what I say that I am not going to like reading.

 

[dianaiad]

Hi!
I have a question. Do you feel if someone leaves the LDS church they still have a longing to go back and that is why they ‘bash’ or hate it? I was always wondering because the exmember will say they hate the LDS church but keep talking about it. I was wondering what you all thought through your point of view. I also have to meantion WOW did mormon.org change! my LDS friend was on it today and I was shocked how different it looked.

I know non-mormons will post here and please understand I am just trying to see their point of view thanks and God bless

It’s not just ex-Mormons. It seems to be ex-anything…(unless they are ex-something and have converted TO Mormonism; we don’t encourage that sort of thing.) There seems to be an obsession about the belief system left behind.

Or, as one of our church leaders put it, 'they leave us, but they don’t leave us alone!" Any Catholic who has seen anti-Catholic rhetoric in any fundamentalist Christian debate forum knows the phenomenon very well.

 

[dianaiad]

I seriously doubt that if someone “bashes” a faith that they left that it is because they are longing to return. I suspect that they find fault or “bash” because they have found fault with that faith.

PLUS “bashing” is a very subjective term. One person could say someone was “bashing” something, and another person might describe the same action as someone being “truthful”. So the entire idea of “bashing” is fraught with problems. So maybe it’s not a good word to use in order to expose truth?

The key, Patty, is to discern the TRUTH.

Oh, I think that 'bashing" has a clear enough meaning as to be separate from criticism. It IS possible to criticise or disagree without bashing. “Bashing…” is that extra step to insulting, disrespectful behavior that crosses the line of courtesy.

 

[MelanieAnne]

Oh, I think that 'bashing" has a clear enough meaning as to be separate from criticism. It IS possible to criticise or disagree without bashing. “Bashing…” is that extra step to insulting, disrespectful behavior that crosses the line of courtesy.

Agreed. I don’t believe informed criticism = bashing. But perhaps some people do?

 

[dianaiad]

Agreed. I don’t believe informed criticism = bashing. But perhaps some people do?

Some people do. It has been my experience, however, that more people call bashing 'informed criticism." I think that it has to do with viewpoint; there’s just something about those who ATTACK other belief systems that seem to feel that the ends justify the means, and that if it doesn’t involve baseball bats to the head, it’s not really ‘bashing.’

 

[SirThomasMore]

Oh, I think that 'bashing" has a clear enough meaning as to be separate from criticism. It IS possible to criticise or disagree without bashing. “Bashing…” is that extra step to insulting, disrespectful behavior that crosses the line of courtesy.

you mean like when you call names and call people liars?