C
Cirdan_XII
Guest
Long story here, but I will try and cut it short.
This is about a woman who sort of came into my life asking for help after having gone through a very difficult phase in her life. I first met her at a soup kitchen where i was helping out at the time. I don’t know all the details of her past and when she talks about it she’s not always coherent and she contradicts herself and I think she’s ashamed of a lot of stuff and trying to skip around that, and anyway I have no right to drill about it so mosty of what i know is through things that slipped out. Anway, she was living very much on the edge of society if not legality. Possibly she was abused sexually (she’s a bit contradictory on this) but definietly emotionally. Did drugs, did alcohol, likely did prostitution. To cut it short, a very ugly story.
Anyway, I talked to the social services in my city and they said bring her along so we can look at her. At first she refused but then she did come and to be honest they weren’t of much help. She was in some respects also her own enemy as her language was sometimes abusive and she wasn’t always cooperative.
Then she fell in and although she couldn’t afford a doctor, I found a doctor who treats poor people on charity and I payed for her medication.
She came to me many times and asked for money. I did give her money but tried more to give her food and things so I knew it wasn’t being taken somewhere else. She said she wanted to find work as a cleaner or something and I set her up with various people who might have something but it all fell through.
I payed for her to go back to her home country where she now lives with her mother. She tried to find a job there but it proved impossible, especially with her lack of positive records and maybe also her sometimes abrasive attitude and language and the generally high poverty there. As she didn’t have any income and her mother is poor as well, I have on several occasions sent her money.
Then she discovered a barrista and bar school and said she would like to do that. I was very sceptical about her ability to do that (as well as being near alcohol and other temptations) but this was in her country (where everything is cheap) and she did beg me alot and the school fees sounded OK so I payed them for her.
That really was a turning point in her career. She really did work hard at that school and although she’s still only half way through it her test results so far look really good. When I talk to her, she has also cut down on the bad language and started taking more responsibility for herself. Every time I phone her she bubbles over with enthusiasm at all the interesting stuff she’s learn and she sends me pictures of drinks she can mix or how nicely she can arrange the tables, the napkins, the flowers etc. I think just the fact that she realizes that she’s good at something and that her efforts are bearing fruits are causing change in her. She’s really started paying attention to detail and taken things seriously. I’m really very happy about what’s happening to her and how she’s seized rather than wasted this opportunity as I was afraid she might.
She has also started showing much more gratitude than she used to. She used to take things I gave or did for her without much of a thought but now she even goes out of her way to say nice things to me. The one that touched me most was when she said that I was the first person who ever made her feel good about being who she is. Coming from sombody who used to talk mostly in expletives, this really touched me and I almost cried.
But I’m not just concerend about her worldly well being but also her spiritual side. She seems to believe various voodoo-like things and says she used to be Catholic but that “Jesus abandoned her” and that she hates him. I have tried to talk about it but she wasn’t really into it. I have also prayed for her. I don’t know if I’m right to try and do more in this direction. I didn’t help her for any reason other than to help her out of a sticky situation that could have been the death of her (when we first met she talked about suicide a lot). And I almost feel as if I’m asking something in return to which I have no right. I don’t know what to do.
The other thing is that she’s started telling me that she loves me and wants to come back and live with me. I really didn’t want her to love me and this is not the reason I helped her and she’s not at all my type and I have tried to tell her that I am helping her out of Christian charity and nothing else. This she sort of accepts, but just for a period because it always comes up again. Why is it so difficult to help people? What can i do to bring her back to God?
This is about a woman who sort of came into my life asking for help after having gone through a very difficult phase in her life. I first met her at a soup kitchen where i was helping out at the time. I don’t know all the details of her past and when she talks about it she’s not always coherent and she contradicts herself and I think she’s ashamed of a lot of stuff and trying to skip around that, and anyway I have no right to drill about it so mosty of what i know is through things that slipped out. Anway, she was living very much on the edge of society if not legality. Possibly she was abused sexually (she’s a bit contradictory on this) but definietly emotionally. Did drugs, did alcohol, likely did prostitution. To cut it short, a very ugly story.
Anyway, I talked to the social services in my city and they said bring her along so we can look at her. At first she refused but then she did come and to be honest they weren’t of much help. She was in some respects also her own enemy as her language was sometimes abusive and she wasn’t always cooperative.
Then she fell in and although she couldn’t afford a doctor, I found a doctor who treats poor people on charity and I payed for her medication.
She came to me many times and asked for money. I did give her money but tried more to give her food and things so I knew it wasn’t being taken somewhere else. She said she wanted to find work as a cleaner or something and I set her up with various people who might have something but it all fell through.
I payed for her to go back to her home country where she now lives with her mother. She tried to find a job there but it proved impossible, especially with her lack of positive records and maybe also her sometimes abrasive attitude and language and the generally high poverty there. As she didn’t have any income and her mother is poor as well, I have on several occasions sent her money.
Then she discovered a barrista and bar school and said she would like to do that. I was very sceptical about her ability to do that (as well as being near alcohol and other temptations) but this was in her country (where everything is cheap) and she did beg me alot and the school fees sounded OK so I payed them for her.
That really was a turning point in her career. She really did work hard at that school and although she’s still only half way through it her test results so far look really good. When I talk to her, she has also cut down on the bad language and started taking more responsibility for herself. Every time I phone her she bubbles over with enthusiasm at all the interesting stuff she’s learn and she sends me pictures of drinks she can mix or how nicely she can arrange the tables, the napkins, the flowers etc. I think just the fact that she realizes that she’s good at something and that her efforts are bearing fruits are causing change in her. She’s really started paying attention to detail and taken things seriously. I’m really very happy about what’s happening to her and how she’s seized rather than wasted this opportunity as I was afraid she might.
She has also started showing much more gratitude than she used to. She used to take things I gave or did for her without much of a thought but now she even goes out of her way to say nice things to me. The one that touched me most was when she said that I was the first person who ever made her feel good about being who she is. Coming from sombody who used to talk mostly in expletives, this really touched me and I almost cried.
But I’m not just concerend about her worldly well being but also her spiritual side. She seems to believe various voodoo-like things and says she used to be Catholic but that “Jesus abandoned her” and that she hates him. I have tried to talk about it but she wasn’t really into it. I have also prayed for her. I don’t know if I’m right to try and do more in this direction. I didn’t help her for any reason other than to help her out of a sticky situation that could have been the death of her (when we first met she talked about suicide a lot). And I almost feel as if I’m asking something in return to which I have no right. I don’t know what to do.
The other thing is that she’s started telling me that she loves me and wants to come back and live with me. I really didn’t want her to love me and this is not the reason I helped her and she’s not at all my type and I have tried to tell her that I am helping her out of Christian charity and nothing else. This she sort of accepts, but just for a period because it always comes up again. Why is it so difficult to help people? What can i do to bring her back to God?
