A Question to Converts

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My family were supportive in theory, but I think that they imagined that becoming Catholic wouldn’t actually have much of an impact on my life. Or rather, they knew I was converting, but they never realized I would be a ‘practicing’ Catholic. Most of my relatives, being very lapsed Catholics, are extremely liberal and extremely critical of the Church whenever possible. They take extreme issue with no women priests, no gay marriage, no contraception and no abortions. One of my aunts works for the ACLU, and all of them are vehemently pro-abortion, pro-gay marriage, pro-Obama’s healthcare bill, etc. They were all delighted when the CHS and the NETWORK nuns defied the bishops to support the healthcare bill. They do have good intentions, but it’s been a frustrating thing to deal with. When my (Catholic) grandmother died, my uncle tried to prevent the funeral being held in the church because it made him uncomfortable. My aunt and her lesbian partner proceeded to sprinkle cornflour around the gravesite as ‘an homage to the Native American spirits.’ It’s actually been very tough, especially with the recent sex abuse scandals, because they have all jumped on the bandwagon and view the Pope as pretty much the greatest baddie around. However, it’s my father who I worry about - I know he’s considered coming back to the Church, but he can’t get his mind around the more political issues - female priests, gay marriage, etc. I think he does believe, but doesn’t want to be part of a group that supports causes he can’t agree with. I hope (and if anyone can spare a prayer for him, I would appreciate it) that he can come to realize that the Church is greater than Democrat or Republican, and that he will finally listen to the part of him that wants to come back after all these years.
 
My family (5 brothers plus Mom) took it very well. My mother actually sent me a card on Easter Sunday 2008, my day of initiation into THE church. My brothers and wives have also been accepting, some more so than others, even going to the point of locating the closest church and finding the Sunday Mass schedule when we visit.
 
I didn’t tell my family until after Easter Vigil. I knew they would try and discourage me.

My family was not happy at all. My father still argues with me about religion and brings up all sorts of news articles and common arguments stating that the Catholic church is dying due to population loss.

I choose to not engage the arguements. Matt. 10:14- “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town.”

Remember that we did not choose our family, but we can choose our faith. They may not always respect each other and at times it’s more than discouraging, it’s a cross to bear.

Much respect to those who have these struggles.
 
marialouisa17 said:
However, it’s my father who I worry about - I know he’s considered coming back to the Church, but he can’t get his mind around the more political issues - female priests, gay marriage, etc. I think he does believe, but doesn’t want to be part of a group that supports causes he can’t agree with.
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Would he be willing to read this article about homosexual marriage from a Catholic point of view?
catholic.com/library/gay_marriage.asp

You could pray to Mary, particularly meditating on her Perpetual Virginity, that she will intercede for him. Pray to her for a while and then ask your father if he’ll read the article. It’s a pretty thorough presentation of lots of points of evidence and good reasons for believing what we do about homosexual “marriage.”
 
Lief_Erikson said:
Would he be willing to read this article about homosexual marriage from a Catholic point of view?
catholic.com/library/gay_marriage.asp

You could pray to Mary, particularly meditating on her Perpetual Virginity, that she will intercede for him. Pray to her for a while and then ask your father if he’ll read the article. It’s a pretty thorough presentation of lots of points of evidence and good reasons for believing what we do about homosexual “marriage.”
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Thanks for the tip! I will see if he’ll read it - hopefully he will, although it might take some persuading. Thanks so much though.
 
liznicks said:
…I have friends who mock religion and church and Catholics - visciously - I 've not brought up the subject with these people.
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Understandable, but consider telling them anyway. There is a lot more upside and little downside. Some may behave just as you imagine (so what!), but others may soften their hearts just a little. It may plant a seed - how did this person I always thought was sane willingly fall for that “superstitious” stuff?

I theorize that agnostics won’t care one way or the other but atheists actually have a religion (but don’t know it). They sometimes become strong Catholics. One example is Jennifer Fulwiler. See her blog if you haven’t already.
 
My husband converted with me, and we baptised our two children. We just told our families, point blank. As for our friends, we have just let them find out naturally - as in they see us do the Sign of the Cross or go to Mass, and then they know.

My family took it hard, but not in an offended way. I think they were more hurt than anything, as if I’d rejected them. I come from a strong Calvinist background, with a bit of Southern Baptist in there, too. I was born and raised in that tradition, and my family is very active in the church. My father is an elder and teacher in their church.

My brother converted about four years before I did. He actually took the brunt of it all. When I converted, people started asking my parents what they’d done wrong to make their children Catholic. They said they’d raised their children to follow God’s will. 😃 We have both tried to show them that being Catholic has deepened our faith.

My in-laws, however…my MIL is an ex-Catholic (her term, not mine). Now a deaconess in a non-denominational church, she is anti-Catholic. My FIL respects Catholicism, so the major issue is with my MIL. When I asked her why she left the Church, she said she heard a voice in the woods tell her to leave. Anyway, she does things like badger me on all the hot-button topics (Mary, communion of saints, the Eucharist, etc.), and she offered their communion to my DS (who is four) RIGHT after I had just instructed him to not take it; we were visiting their church. It’s mainly stuff like that.

We have lost the respect of some of our friends. Sadly, most of them are God-fearing people who have just been misinformed about the Church.
 
Hi,

This is the first time I have ever responded to any of the forums but I receive Catholic Answers and read it faithfully. I have learned so much about our faith and our church.

I converted to Catholicism a little over a year ago and prior to that I was baptized a Pentecostal. I was very nervous about telling my family. I was taught many wrong things while being a Pentecostal and my husband loves being a Pentecostal. I felt the Lord calling me and prayed and studied for over a year before I made my decision also, and that long before I told my family. I expected a lot of shock and dismay but to my unbelievable surprise every single family member was as supportive as they could be. Even my husband, who doesn’t understand why I chose to come to the Catholic church, said he would support me in all things and would never dream standing in my way when it came to God and what church I chose. I credit our Lord with these reactions because he removed any and all obstacles for me. The Lord says to be still and let him move. I did, and he did.

Thanks for listening…
 
Thanks for shareing that wonderful story Debbie, welcome home! 👍
 
Thank you all so much for the great stories you have told! I can understand those of you who have been rejected or faced hardship from family members. But I would like to remind all of you that God is there, and He is the only real family we need. This is something I am learning.

But thank you all again for your wonderful testimonies!

In Christ,
Never
 
Nevermore22 said:
(To any moderator, please move this thread if it is in the wrong place. But I hope it is!)

I am a new member, and this is my first thread so…

To all of the converts, or those converting to the Catholic faith… how did you tell the people around you (family, spouses, children, co-workers, fellow church goers, etc.) about what you wanted to do? How did they react?

I myself have told my family and friends about my desire to convert. I am just curious on how other converts were treated by those around them. Hopefully it was in a kind, respectful manner.

Thanks!

-Never
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Hi Never, My parents and grandparents, and most of my relatives are dead but I have told everyone I know including my doctor who is a really great Methodist. Sometimes we talk about my conversion if he is not too busy or during an appointment.

I am excited about my conversion and I tell whoever will listen how happy I am including members of my former Anglican church. The other day one of them said he quit because the Catholic church became like a hootenany (sp.) I suspect that is not the reason because his newer wife is a former Baptist. We have one person and her daughter who still go to their bible study instead of the bible study at our Catholic church. The priest is knowledgable but I like our study better and have learned more.

I told my brother but he is not religious and had no comment at all.

I wish you all the best and welcome to the Catholic faith. It is my hope that you will be blessed many times over for your conversion.😃
 
An update that I thought I’d share with you all, as I figured some might get a kick out of it.

I was talking to my friend (Friend A), and another gentleman came up (Friend B). This individual in question is in fact a friend (not a close one), but the guy couldn’t even spell morality, much less understand the concept. (Cheats on his fiance, doesn’t pay child support, hasn’t ever held a steady job because he either gets his parents or fiance to pay for everything… you get the picture.)

Friend A is VERY supportive of my conversion, always has been, and is considering the idea himself.

Friend B was apparently talking to Friend A the other night about how “concerned” he is that I’ve given up every single vice I had, and had been profoundly changed by my conversion. Apparently the “final straw” was when I sold (or gave away) all of my guns. (Not to him. 😉 )

Anyways… apparently Friend B is planning an INTERVENTION for me, to “help me” understand that I’ve taken this “religion thing” a bit “too far”, what with all of this “craziness” like going to church, praying the Divine Office, being an altar server, and… basically being happy all the time.

LOL. Can you believe that? A morality intervention. I haven’t stopped giggling ever since I got wind of this ridiculousness.

Of course, he could, as with all of my other friends, ask me why I (finally) joined the church, or why the experience has changed me… I’ve had MANY of those conversations - as a result I’m bringing definitely one, possibly as many as two or three into the church this year, and I’ve made a lot of progress with a fallen Catholic in terms of bringing her back.

But no - no conversation like that has happened with him. He’s just dead-set on this intervention.

As ridiculous as it is, I can’t help but laugh (in a good way). It’s almost endearing.

I’m tempted to go, and try my hand at converting anybody who attends the intervention.

My patron saint IS St. Francis de Sales, after all. 👍
 
joe_cool,

I can believe it, in fact I’ve been experienceing it my self and I’m not actually even a convert!! I’m just a revert! lol 🙂

It’s all good though, keep doing what you’re doing, being a good Christian is the most powerful and profound witness. I wouldn’t be too supprised if at some point friend B realizes he’s missing out on something and decides to join you and friend A.
 
joe_cool said:
An update that I thought I’d share with you all, as I figured some might get a kick out of it.

I was talking to my friend (Friend A), and another gentleman came up (Friend B). This individual in question is in fact a friend (not a close one), but the guy couldn’t even spell morality, much less understand the concept. (Cheats on his fiance, doesn’t pay child support, hasn’t ever held a steady job because he either gets his parents or fiance to pay for everything… you get the picture.)

Friend A is VERY supportive of my conversion, always has been, and is considering the idea himself.

Friend B was apparently talking to Friend A the other night about how “concerned” he is that I’ve given up every single vice I had, and had been profoundly changed by my conversion. Apparently the “final straw” was when I sold (or gave away) all of my guns. (Not to him. 😉 )

Anyways… apparently Friend B is planning an INTERVENTION for me, to “help me” understand that I’ve taken this “religion thing” a bit “too far”, what with all of this “craziness” like going to church, praying the Divine Office, being an altar server, and… basically being happy all the time.

LOL. Can you believe that? A morality intervention. I haven’t stopped giggling ever since I got wind of this ridiculousness.

Of course, he could, as with all of my other friends, ask me why I (finally) joined the church, or why the experience has changed me… I’ve had MANY of those conversations - as a result I’m bringing definitely one, possibly as many as two or three into the church this year, and I’ve made a lot of progress with a fallen Catholic in terms of bringing her back.

But no - no conversation like that has happened with him. He’s just dead-set on this intervention.

As ridiculous as it is, I can’t help but laugh (in a good way). It’s almost endearing.

I’m tempted to go, and try my hand at converting anybody who attends the intervention.

My patron saint IS St. Francis de Sales, after all. 👍
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Sounds like a good idea, convert the “interveners”!

St. Francis would be proud!

Regards,

Fdesales
 
Oh, wow. Bless you, joe_cool! God has given you one of the best opportunities to spread the faith he could have given you, and you’ve done remarkably well in stepping up to the challenge. That is really awesome! 🙂
 
Shiranui117 said:
Oh, wow. Bless you, joe_cool! God has given you one of the best opportunities to spread the faith he could have given you, and you’ve done remarkably well in stepping up to the challenge. That is really awesome! 🙂
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Thanks, guys.

@crazzeto: Seriously? I actually wondered how common these things were. It’s just so silly. I still keep smiling today, as I think about it.
 
joe_cool said:
Thanks, guys.

@crazzeto: Seriously? I actually wondered how common these things were. It’s just so silly. I still keep smiling today, as I think about it.
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Yes seriously, I’ve been accused on many occations of being “born againy”. All because I’ve finally realized that I need to actually reorient my life completely towards Christ perciesly as the Catholic Church has been teaching for over 2,000 years. There is a sad perception of there being some sort of artifical seperation between us and the Saints… In many circles the Saints are not to be emmulated, rather merely admired and prayed to on occation…

It’s the symptoms of a culturally catholic view point, which has essentually lost it’s way. The good news is, I do see reform, and revitalization on the horizon.
 
My husband and I told our parents on the phone (we live in different states) and they were both very sad. His mom cried and the first words out of her mouth were “Are you still going to be at Christmas Eve service with us”? It was interesting that our parents’ main issue was that the family was no longer “united in faith”. What hey don’t get is that they are the ones who chose to not be united by (“protesting”) being protestants. Now they’re okay with us being Catholic because it’s been a few months and they realize that this conclusion came after over a year of prayer, studying, and discussion. But it’s still hard.

My sister on the other hand was another story. She is a Calvinist and therefore believes that once you’re “saved” and find the truth (Calvinism), that you will never fall away. Therefore, if you do fall away, you never knew Christ to being with. I knew that she would take it hard so I wrote her a letter detailing out the reasons of why I was becoming Catholic. I told her how much I loved her and explained that the decision was my own and that it is because I think the Church is true and not because of any other pressures, etc. I also explained that I had prayed and studied and consulted with many protestants who could not answer my questions. She is still upset about it and we don’t discuss religion. I pray for her a lot because our relationship is severely strained.

My husband’s sister is also a Calvinist and took it hard but my husband finally told her “If Catholicism isn’t true than I don’t know what is.” After he said that, she came to the conclusion that this is the only way we will ever know Christ and therefore she has accepted it. She will also discuss Catholicism with us which is great because we know where that eventually leads…to Rome! 👍

To the OP, welcome home. I hope my story has helped. You are in my prayers!
 
I told my father and brother by writing a carefully worded letter to each explaining my journey and emphasising that I was in no way rejecting the sound foundation of Christian faith which my parents & grandparents had given me. They had time to think & pray before contacting me to say that they accepted & supported me. I told my adult children bit by bit during the RCIA process. They seemed indifferent but later were disturbed by the fact that we no longer receive Eucharist together as a family. I visited closest friends to tell them and mostly got support. I did get some flak from acquaintances. It didn’t surprise me as they expressed the same misunderstandings of Catholicism that I once had. I reread the beatitudes when I was “reviled”. Living in the fullness of the Catholic faith is worth any risks. I also was so warmly welcomed into the parish community. I gained far more than I lost.
 
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