A quick question about deceased family member

[kmartin60]

OK (I hope this is in right place?) My M-I-L passed away last month (No services of any kind!)
and her sons (hubby and BIL) were going to set her headstone after letting the ground settle a bit what I have done and my questions are these:

(1) I have requested a mass to be held for her

(2) I have kept a candle lit and said the daily rosary prayer for the dead for her

(3) I will have holy water to drop on her grave when they go to set the headstone BUT I might not be able to go with hubby! I think (hope) he will put the drop on her grave but…

(4) I couldn’t get the 30 day Dominiquen (sp) Mass done so should I do a specific prayer or ? in its place?

The prayers that I read about said that they are said at the grave and drop a drop of HW…but If I’m unable to go is it possible for me to do them here while hubby drops the HW? Or should I just wait? (I’m in wheelchair and cant leave house much)

I guess I should mention no one here is Catholic and every time I tried to talk to her about it she shut me down quick! Im not totally sure whether she has been saved or not! That’s why this is bothering me so much I guess… Any advice?

 

[Josie33]

Sorry to hear about the passing of your MIL. She is truly blessed to have you as her DIL with the amount of love and concern you have shown for the welfare of her soul.

In regard to one of your questions, I was wondering if you meant to refer to the 30 day Gregorian Masses? If so and if you’re having difficulty arranging them in person, you can arrange them online:

The Marian Fathers of the Immaculate Conception process requests for Gregorian Masses online. The Marian Fathers promote the Divine Mercy message and devotion.

And remember, God is love and mercy. Keep up your efforts for her in prayer and sacrifice and may your heart be set at peace with these words from St. Faustina: “All grace flows from mercy, and the last hour abounds with mercy for us. Let no one doubt concerning the goodness of God; even if a person’s sins were as dark as night, God’s mercy is stronger than our misery. One thing alone is necessary: that the sinner set ajar the door of his heart, be it ever so little, to let in a ray of God’s merciful grace, and then God will do the rest.” (1507)

God Bless,

Josie

 

[Evania]

I hope one day I have a DIL like you! Just remember that God sees the whole picture of her life. He sees her heart, any hidden hurts, any misunderstandings that would keep her from Him. He is the source of all love and mercy. I definitely believe that there are people in hell, but I think there will be many pleasant surprises when (hopefully) we get to Heaven. Kind of like, “Hey, I didn’t expect to see you up here!”

Who knows? We could be someone else’s “pleasant surprise”!

My point is: Don’t fret too much about whether or not she was saved. The only thing you can do now is to pray, and you’re doing a good job at that. Just keep doing what you’re doing and know that your prayers are being heard by a loving God who wants your MIL saved even more than you do.

God Bless!!!

 

[kmartin60]

Thank you so much for your replies! Yes, it was the “Gregorian Mass” I will have to save up to have that one done~ but as soon as I do…

and no…I don’t think you would I was a pretty bad DIL… I pushed her buttons every time I got a chance. She was in her 80’s doing stuff that I never have been able to do and fuss cause she cant haul 2 cement blocks a far as she use to could. She never appreciated the health and freedom God had granted her and always took it for granted which I was always quick to point out to her! ROFL

Same when she stopped eating in her 90’s always fussing I"'m just not hungry" and then I don’t understand why I don’t have any energy… Really? What would your mother say?hahahaha she would just huff at me…

I do feel a bit better and hopefully I will be able to go with hubby when they set her headstone and can do the prayers and HW like I planned. And will still cont. the rest of what Im doing here already. (even if not necessary it does make me feel better!)

(SIDENOTE)
Can a person drop HW on strangers graves and give a prayer if they have it available and are there anyway? Most of this graveyard no one is left to come visit the graves or lay flowers. is it permissible? (I don’t think anyone would know but looking around LOL) …

that was one thing MIL did do every year was lay as many floral arrangements as she could then the next week her nieces would go back and collect them, clean them and store them for the next year (but mom still bought more). They were almost to the point they could decorate the entire graveyard! Just curious…I kinda like the thought of it

Thanks again for the replies… God Bless you!