Look at porn that is.
Or go to strip clubs or topless bars.
I’ve really had it with believing that there must be ONE man left who is able to refrain from it.
It something that has broken me down over and over and over again. It’s been devastating to find out that my grandfather, my father, my uncles, my brothers, good friends, boyfriends, husband, and now my SO whom I was convinced was a totally different kind of guy, ALL look at it.
What’s worse, is I’m looked at as some sort of supreme prude for not accepting this as OK.
I’m tired. I give up. And I’m really tired of hearing excuses.
What is it that is so enticing to men about some strangers breasts? Or rear end? Or whatever body part they may be fixated on? Don’t men realize that there are millions of women in the world who have these parts and there are actually women who love them enough to let them see these parts and be intimate with them IN REAL LIFE??(I’m talking wives) Do they not realize that there are women who would actually be interested in loving them, and making love to them not just taking advantage of them, and taking their money?? No, that never seems to be as appealing as some skank bent over on the computer screen. I’m sorry, but there is no mincing words with me on this subject anymore. It’s disgusting.
At this point, I just am not interested. In men, in relationships, in excuses, in anything. I refuse to accept this sick perversion as normal and I refuse to accept that I shouldn’t be bothered by it, and grossed out by it, or that I shouldn’t take it personally. That’s crud.
I agree that pornography is sinful and disgusting. It is also a sin that I struggle with (usually quite poorly) often. For me, I don’t look at ‘dirty pictures’ so much as do textual sexual RPGs (it’s all sinful regardless…I am not trying to rationalize or say mine is not sinful or something, because it is). It is a sin that many men deal with at all ages (past puberty/adolescence obviously). Now I am not married and have no significant other (i.e. girlfriend, fiance, etc.) so I cannot comment on that part of your complains.
However, I would say though that getting angry and going on the verbal attack against people who struggle with that sin is not helpful. Let me ak you something, are you sinless? Do you have any sins that others would find particularly offensive? Would you want said others going on the attack and ranting as you are? Remember what Jesus regardin the adulteress, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”
As I said, I agree it is a sin and, for most religious men who are in this sin, they know it is a sin. It is an EXTREMELY difficult sin to overcome. Personally, I have prayed about it, confessed it (as an Anglican, to a Priest, but also to friends as a form of accountability) and sometimes made good strides in overcoming it (avoiding it for a couple weeks). Being ranted at does not usually help (it usually just causes people to get defensive).
Why do I do it? Loneliness for one thing (you may say there are plenty of women out there, but a lot of them, even among those claiming to Christians, would just as soon as take it to the ‘physical’ level and others, like yourself by your own words, will abandon the man as soon as they find out about the problem…and it getting the love of a good woman is not as easy as you make it out to be). Also, there is a need for sexual release and I have yet to figure out another way to cope with it (no prospects for marriage yet).
I will agree with you that I do not understand the fixation with ‘dirty pictures’. Like I said, I mine is textual (there might be a picture of who each person represents, but it is not a ‘dirty picture’, just a picture of another person). I have looked at pornographic images before, but it did not do anything to/for me. I have never been to a nudie bar and I have never had that desire.
Regardless, I agree fully that pornography (whether in the pictographic or textual form) is sinful and a disgusting habit and addiction. Instead of ranting and telling most Christians who deal with this sin what they already know (that they are sinners and that pornography is a disgusting sin), why don’t you look into ways to try and help people overcome this issue?
Another thing, and this is not directed at the OP, but I have noticed a bit of a double-standard on this sin. If we see someone who is an alcoholic or struggles with any other addiction, Church people are told be supportive, understanding (not accepting: sin is sin) and to try and help that person overcome their sin. If someone struggles with pornography, they are castigated and told they are a pervert of some kind and viewed with disdain by members of the opposite sex. Has anyone else noticed this?
If I have a sin that is particularly offensive I would hope that someone would give me a stern talking to including the statement “you should be ashamed of yourself”. To not admonish a sinner is an insult to them. In blaming someone rightfully for their own sin you are recognizing the have the potential to be a saint.
BUT IT IS HOW WOMEN SEE IT!!! I am asking that you try to see it from a woman’s perspective. I am asking that you try to wrap your head around another person’s side of the same battle. Is that just way too difficult?