F
Fergal
Guest
Hi Folks!
I have just had one sad morning and I really need to clear my head. I am looking for prayers for myself and the confessor I met this morning.
I went to confession in order to prepare for the New Year.
A little background first.
My wife had a baby only 4 weeks ago and now feels ready to resume marital relations. Neither of us prescribe to nor believe in artificial contraception. I am probably more staunch on this aspect. I am willing to wait and learn about NFP whilst my wife believes it ok to be mutually satisfying without intercourse.
Let’s just say that recently I gave into temptation and the hugs and cuddles lead to an act that was not procreative. To clear my conscience and my soul and prepare for the New Year.
I am a daily communicant and carefully watch my state of being.
I brought all this to Confession this morning only to be told that I was imposing my fundamentalist views on my wife and that my fundamentalism really annoyed him. He became very agitated and told me that the Church did not have all the answers to contraception but that I should use my conscience and not be so easily led. He kept asking in a forceful manner “Who is the problem in this marriage?” To which he answered “You are” He said the views I hold are gone and that I needed to wake up and live in the real world.
He covered his tracks a bit and said he was not saying that contraception was good or bad but that it is an ideal of the Church and really a very outdated one at that.
Now I was completely shocked. I stopped him and said that Church teaching may be idealistic but ideals were there to aspire to and that Christ and Holy Mother Church realised that it would not be easy and therefore provided the Confessional for guidance and absolution when we fell short of these ideals.
He said also that my black and white views on morality were a sledgehammer in my marriage and that we needed marriage counseling. he told me that my following the Church’s teachings so rigidly would damage our marriage.
His tone was abrupt and lacking any compassion.
He asked me if I ever heard a Priest denounce contraception to which I answered ‘Yes Father, many times both in this Church and in others’ he was startled and said ‘Really?’ I went on then to tell him that Pope John Paul II many times reminded us of the consistant church teaching that artificial contraception was intrinsically disordered and since that teaching has been placed in many encyclicals that was what my wife and I would continue to aspire to.
At this he went silent for a few moments. At this stage I had enough and was actually prepared to be denied absolution so I continued “Father, I have had cancer twice and was told that I would never father a child again. I should not be here. Only 4 weeks ago God blessed us with a new bundle of joy and therefore has made it clear that he is very present in our Marriage. I never doubted He was there i just didn’t recognise Him but now I do. Father, I kneel here before you cancer free and I owe my healing from cancer to the presence of Christ in the Blessed Sacrament through frequent reception of Holy Communion. I am not willing to throw God’s grace back in his face when he has made it abundantly clear that He loves me. I love the Church deeply and I will always strive to follow her teachings come what may.”
With this, I, for the first time ever, broke down and wept.
He finished by telling me “Well I suppose none of us has a monopoly on the truth” (Whatever that meant) and he asked me to make an act of contrition.
Leaving the Confessional he wished me the best of luck.
My heart is very heavy as I write this and I simply ask your prayers.
I have just had one sad morning and I really need to clear my head. I am looking for prayers for myself and the confessor I met this morning.
I went to confession in order to prepare for the New Year.
A little background first.
My wife had a baby only 4 weeks ago and now feels ready to resume marital relations. Neither of us prescribe to nor believe in artificial contraception. I am probably more staunch on this aspect. I am willing to wait and learn about NFP whilst my wife believes it ok to be mutually satisfying without intercourse.
Let’s just say that recently I gave into temptation and the hugs and cuddles lead to an act that was not procreative. To clear my conscience and my soul and prepare for the New Year.
I am a daily communicant and carefully watch my state of being.
I brought all this to Confession this morning only to be told that I was imposing my fundamentalist views on my wife and that my fundamentalism really annoyed him. He became very agitated and told me that the Church did not have all the answers to contraception but that I should use my conscience and not be so easily led. He kept asking in a forceful manner “Who is the problem in this marriage?” To which he answered “You are” He said the views I hold are gone and that I needed to wake up and live in the real world.
He covered his tracks a bit and said he was not saying that contraception was good or bad but that it is an ideal of the Church and really a very outdated one at that.
Now I was completely shocked. I stopped him and said that Church teaching may be idealistic but ideals were there to aspire to and that Christ and Holy Mother Church realised that it would not be easy and therefore provided the Confessional for guidance and absolution when we fell short of these ideals.
He said also that my black and white views on morality were a sledgehammer in my marriage and that we needed marriage counseling. he told me that my following the Church’s teachings so rigidly would damage our marriage.
His tone was abrupt and lacking any compassion.
He asked me if I ever heard a Priest denounce contraception to which I answered ‘Yes Father, many times both in this Church and in others’ he was startled and said ‘Really?’ I went on then to tell him that Pope John Paul II many times reminded us of the consistant church teaching that artificial contraception was intrinsically disordered and since that teaching has been placed in many encyclicals that was what my wife and I would continue to aspire to.
At this he went silent for a few moments. At this stage I had enough and was actually prepared to be denied absolution so I continued “Father, I have had cancer twice and was told that I would never father a child again. I should not be here. Only 4 weeks ago God blessed us with a new bundle of joy and therefore has made it clear that he is very present in our Marriage. I never doubted He was there i just didn’t recognise Him but now I do. Father, I kneel here before you cancer free and I owe my healing from cancer to the presence of Christ in the Blessed Sacrament through frequent reception of Holy Communion. I am not willing to throw God’s grace back in his face when he has made it abundantly clear that He loves me. I love the Church deeply and I will always strive to follow her teachings come what may.”
With this, I, for the first time ever, broke down and wept.
He finished by telling me “Well I suppose none of us has a monopoly on the truth” (Whatever that meant) and he asked me to make an act of contrition.
Leaving the Confessional he wished me the best of luck.
My heart is very heavy as I write this and I simply ask your prayers.
)
- but I do see that perhaps God put you there at that time to be a witness. We are one Body, and all are human - even Priests 
