A serious and complicated problem

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CeaselessMedik

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I’ve been having a problem with myself that seems to be getting worse…I can’t seem to do almost anything any more without a little nagging feeling that whatever it is might be being done with the wrong intention, or might be a mortal sin. It sounds rediculous and, consciously, I know that it is. I know consciously that I believe everything I’ve ever heard the church teach, but it gets to the point that even when I’m typing I’ll type something and something will “click” and I’ll think that the last sentence I wrote is sinful in either its nature or the way I do it, sometimes because of little more than a small feeling I had while or soon after typing it. I feel like I have to constantly police my thoughts or I’ll let slip something mortally sinful. I can’t write or do homework without feeling that I’ve sinned and feeling practically obligated to immediately pray for forgiveness, and then I run into a second part of the problem: I’ll worry that I haven’t consciously meant what I said, or didn’t respect God enough when I said it, and it is therefore blasphemy. I’ll also sometimes do something and think, in hindsight, that it was a mortal sin - not because of its nature, but because I thought it was at the time on a conscious or not-so-conscious level, and I can’t tell which.

The problem sounds rediculous when I’m saying it but it really is afflicting me to the point where I can’t sleep for fear that I might not live till morning. My life with other people is being affected because I’ll distance myself from them in order to silently pray for forgiveness over and over, or with repetition or “make-ups” for something I think I did wrong. These problems in turn lead to frustration which I sometimes think I accidentally blaspheme with, and this leads to another near-compulsion to pray and I fear I can’t stop for various reasons: that I think the prayer won’t be answered, or some things I do from then on will be a part of the prayer until I say “amen,” and things like that.

I don’t know how to conclusively tell that what I’m doing is wrong, or how to otherwise solve the problem. Any help or prayers would be appreciated, especially from a Catholic priest.

(As I try to wrap up this thread I have the feeling I should give praise to God in some way, and that I’m obligated to. This is sort of what I’m talking about. It’s not in a good way, either…I feel like something bad will happen if I don’t.)
 
Your problem is not ridiculous, but it is fairly common. It is called scrupulosity, or being scrupulous. It is related to obsessive-compulsive disorder, or OCD, which is properly diagnosed and treated by a psychiatrist.

The cure for scrupulosity is obedience to one single priest who serves as your confessor and spiritual director. You should go to confession to a priest you are comfortable with, tell him exactly what you have written here, and then follow his directions to the letter. He may tell you to do things that do not seem right to you, but your conscience is not functioning properly, so you cannot make that determination for yourself right now. It doesn’t matter; you must obey if you want to get better.

What you should not do is bring your worries to anyone other than the priest, including the people you meet on this board. It’s not that we don’t wish to help. It’s that you must stick with the “treatment.”

I’m sure other helpful members will provide links to Scrupulous Anonymous and the Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous. These are excellent resources also.

One thing to remember is that you cannot, by definition, commit a mortal sin unintentionally. You must have grave matter, full knowledge, and deliberate consent for a sin to be mortal. You must do it on purpose. Maybe that will help you until you get to the priest.

God bless you.

Betsy
 
I was worried it might be a mental thing…-_-

Thanks, though. I’ll try that.
 
What is “full knowledge,” though? For instance, if I do something and at the time I think it’s okay but afterwards I think about it more and feel like it was actually a mortal sin because I knew that such things were classified as such but didn’t remember or wasn’t consciously thinking about that? Or would that fall under “not giving deliberate consent?”

Also, thanks for your help. It helped me get to bed earlier last night and deal with this better today than I have for the past few days.
 
CeaselessMedik said:
What is “full knowledge,” though? For instance, if I do something and at the time I think it’s okay but afterwards I think about it more and feel like it was actually a mortal sin because I knew that such things were classified as such but didn’t remember or wasn’t consciously thinking about that? Or would that fall under “not giving deliberate consent?”

Also, thanks for your help. It helped me get to bed earlier last night and deal with this better today than I have for the past few days.
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I agree with the previous poster. You should go talk to a priest. An additional possible course is to find a Catholic therapist to talk to as there could be a mental anomily causing this.

Full knowledge means that you know and understand that what you are doing is a serious sin.
 
Full knowledge means AT THE TIME you know and understand that what you are doing is seriously wrong. If you find out later, there is not retroactive knowledge that reaches back in time and makes it a sin.

Promise me you’ll go see a priest soon.

Betsy
 
baltobetsy said:
Your problem is not ridiculous, but it is fairly common. It is called scrupulosity, or being scrupulous. It is related to obsessive-compulsive disorder, or OCD, which is properly diagnosed and treated by a psychiatrist.

The cure for scrupulosity is obedience to one single priest who serves as your confessor and spiritual director. You should go to confession to a priest you are comfortable with, tell him exactly what you have written here, and then follow his directions to the letter. He may tell you to do things that do not seem right to you, but your conscience is not functioning properly, so you cannot make that determination for yourself right now. It doesn’t matter; you must obey if you want to get better.

What you should not do is bring your worries to anyone other than the priest, including the people you meet on this board. It’s not that we don’t wish to help. It’s that you must stick with the “treatment.”

I’m sure other helpful members will provide links to Scrupulous Anonymous and the Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous. These are excellent resources also.

One thing to remember is that you cannot, by definition, commit a mortal sin unintentionally. You must have grave matter, full knowledge, and deliberate consent for a sin to be mortal. You must do it on purpose. Maybe that will help you until you get to the priest.

God bless you.

Betsy
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Thank you Baltobetsy. That was well stated. 👍

Here are some links:
Scrupulous Anonymous: mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupanon.htm
This has several links to the items like the “Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous” and a monthlu web publication, “Scrupulous Anonymous”.
 
Thank you so much! I just read the first three and those things happen to me a lot!
 
I can’t seem to read the pdf right now, but I’ll take a look at it later. Thanks.
 
Also, don’t assume that this is going to be a lifelong problem if you haven’t had it all your life. Many people (including saints) have short bouts of scruples, especially if they’ve been under a lot of stress of an unusual kind.

I had this happen to me, actually. It helped that I realized what was happening to me because I’d read about it before. The scruples ended when the stress ended, and I fortunately haven’t had any attacks since.

But definitely go see a priest.
 
I’m guessing that you’ve probably seen a priest by now, but I would like to get in my two cents worth.

When you’re bothered by untoward thoughts of any kind, including overly scrupulous ones, try mentally praying, “Jesus, you take this, I can’t handle it.”

Do it a thousand times a day if you have to.

Call in your patron saint and your guardian angel, too. And Mama.

Contemplative prayer is also good for clearing out all sorts of mental clutter.

ICXC
NIKA
 
I’ve seen bot ha priest and a psychologist-ish person. Neither gave me a black-and-white answer, but I think I’m doing better. It helps that I actually feel better when I try not to think about this stuff but one big block in my way now is: if I’m not sure something is mortal sin and I want to do it, am I obligated to think it through and make myself as sure as I can whether it is or isn’t, or do it and think about it later?
 
baltobetsy said:
Your problem is not ridiculous, but it is fairly common. It is called scrupulosity, or being scrupulous. It is related to obsessive-compulsive disorder, or OCD, which is properly diagnosed and treated by a psychiatrist.

The cure for scrupulosity is obedience to one single priest who serves as your confessor and spiritual director. You should go to confession to a priest you are comfortable with, tell him exactly what you have written here, and then follow his directions to the letter. He may tell you to do things that do not seem right to you, but your conscience is not functioning properly, so you cannot make that determination for yourself right now. It doesn’t matter; you must obey if you want to get better.

What you should not do is bring your worries to anyone other than the priest, including the people you meet on this board. It’s not that we don’t wish to help. It’s that you must stick with the “treatment.”

I’m sure other helpful members will provide links to Scrupulous Anonymous and the Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous. These are excellent resources also.

One thing to remember is that you cannot, by definition, commit a mortal sin unintentionally. You must have grave matter, full knowledge, and deliberate consent for a sin to be mortal. You must do it on purpose. Maybe that will help you until you get to the priest.

God bless you.

Betsy
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Betsy could this not also be an attack from satan puting thoughts on our mind to confuse our lives? I wonder if somtimes we put the onus on some health issue where it could be part social and satan comes in while the peron is not aware through the situation catching the person off beat.
Hope you understand what I’m saying that we can get ill mentally or other and while we put our minds to the illness satan coes along and puts its two pence in to make it worse.

Goebless
littleone
 
Well, praise be to God!!!

I’ve never met anyone who has experienced what I went through! I went through a very similar experience…uncannily similar experience. I used to spend hours agitating about the smallest action, word or thought. When I did do or say anything, I questioned myself, whether it was sinful, whether it was God’s will or not, etc. Everything I did was analyzed, everything I was about to do I thought about in advance… When I interacted with people, I also pulled away from them to pray, over and over. Oh, I’ve been through that hell, and I was in that hell for a good long freaky time. Yes, there are scruples involved, yes, there might be a mental condition- temporary or not- but there might also be sin involved (with the mighty hand of Jesus waiting to pull us out of that mess.) For me, my sins involved the occult- divination being my greatest and most scary trap. I didn’t know what it was 'til I was out of it and I had rejected it. But I had the help of a holy priest, and I followed him to the letter… but that is a story in itself.
If my past story could in any way help you, please contact me. Happy to oblige!!!
 
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