A slow return...

[rebekahsp]

Growing up I went to Catholic school until high school. My parents allowed me the decision to be baptized when I was about 6 or so. (I’m not sure if that is correct, but anyhow)…I chose to be baptized Catholic and continued in school and received the sacraments, etc. I always felt like I didn’t belong among the people in my school, and was socially rejected. (which I now associate with the divorce of my parents, I guess.)

When the time for confirmation came I had become so rebellious toward the authority in my school that I decided to drop out and not complete it. I subsequently left the Catholic school I was going to, went to public high school, never wanted anything to do with my Catholic faith or anyone who was Catholic, and soon after, out of my bitterness, began to completely ignore my faith in general. I blocked it out to conform to the culture of my new secular public school. I never seemed to fit in anywhere.

So over the years, I associated mostly with people who had no standards because those were the people who I felt accepted by. Mostly they were people who do drugs, are depressed, are completely immoral, drink heavily, etc. Somehow, by the grace of God, Whom, I had been ignoring, slowly makes his way back into my heart and now to the forefront of my every thought.

So I’m searching for ways to grow closer to Him, attending many protestant churches, seekers churches (i.e. mega churches) and am constantly disappointed feeling that I’m just not getting enough out of the service or being frustrated with the music or the huge TV screens, etc. I even went to Calvinist, Baptist, and Lutheran services. Still holding a grudge against the Catholic church and never feeling satisfaction from any of these other services.
But anyway, my dad convinced me to go to a certain Catholic church that he thought could change my mind about the one I had come from and it did, very s l o w l y.

So I started reading the Catechism, etc, and now I’m back.
But I have found that along this journey, I have lost all of my friends because they are either, atheist, drunks, unwilling to acknowledge morality, etc.
The few people I knew of protestant background think I’m getting into legalism by believing and seeking to follow the teachings of the Catholic church. (especially the tough stuff like contraception, sexuality, etc.)
So like I said, I have no friends. The only person I can talk to is my dad, I’ve been volunteering places in my free time, but I’m just pretty lost at this point. I know I can get involved in my church, but I’m also kind of afraid of that. In my time away I went to great lengths to alienate myself…I have very large tattoos which I can’t just take away like I wish that I could …so that’s also adds to the fear that I won’t be accepted.
I have also been praying on this issue and know that it will take time. I just wish I had more people around or something.

Can anyone lend any guidance? Thanks for reading my ramble.

 

[Sarahforgiven]

I recommend you meet with a parish priest. You can discuss these issues and receive guidance. It should be fairly straightforward for you to return to the Church. Remember our Lord was often alone. Seek your identity in Christ, not the approval or judgement of the world. I know this is hard and am working on this myself.
If the priest recommends RCIA for you to prepare for confirmation, it is a great way to get to know people. My husband & I converted last year & had also been in non-denominational churches etc.
God bless you on your journey home:thumbsup:
In Christ,
s

 

[Edmundus1581]

…
Can anyone lend any guidance? Thanks for reading my ramble.

I have no guidance to offer, other than to wholehearedly support your return to the Catholic faith, and to pray for you.

It was a good ramble

 

[PerfectTiming]

I was 8 when I asked to become a Catholic. Who says kids can’t make good life decisions?

You should go talk to the priest about getting confirmed, he will probably suggest you take RCIA - it’s often used as confirmation preparation for adults. Also ask him about ways you could become more involved - he’ll obviously know best.

Welcome back, I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[puzzleannie]

So I started reading the Catechism, etc, and now I’m back.
But I have found that along this journey, I have lost all of my friends because they are either, atheist, drunks, unwilling to acknowledge morality, etc.
The few people I knew of protestant background think I’m getting into legalism by believing and seeking to follow the teachings of the Catholic church. (especially the tough stuff like contraception, sexuality, etc.)
So like I said, I have no friends. The only person I can talk to is my dad, I’ve been volunteering places in my free time, but I’m just pretty lost at this point. I know I can get involved in my church, but I’m also kind of afraid of that. In my time away I went to great lengths to alienate myself…I have very large tattoos which I can’t just take away like I wish that I could …so that’s also adds to the fear that I won’t be accepted.
I have also been praying on this issue and know that it will take time. I just wish I had more people around or something.

Can anyone lend any guidance? Thanks for reading my ramble.

thank you for your post, and welcome home, your experience will resonate with many people here.

This is a huge issue for converts and reverts, and may in various forms, more than any other issue, the problem that keeps them from coming home completely, from finishing RCIA, from getting active in parish life, and ultimately, from remaining Catholic in practice. And it is one RCIA is meant to address, but often fails to do so. It is the biggest hole in many parish RCIA “programs”. The sponsor is supposed to be the one who is the companion, who leads the candidate to a place he can find fellowship and belonging, but it seldom happens that way.

Under “RCIA” I include efforts to reach out to returning Catholics as well for purposes of this discussion. Here in this parish we have just started such an effort, and it begins, or incorporates as an essential factor, inviting people to become part of various ministries, apostolates and social activities even before it addresses a more formal class, discussion or bible study. I hope it works out well.

For OP I hope this at least means you are growing closer to your dad and learning to forgive your parents for the divorce and other events that affected you. As the relationship with your parents heals, hopefully you will find it easier to examine they way in which your relationship with the Church failed, and how she–or your local church at least–failed you when you most needed her. I think that healing is key to coming all the way now.

Nobody cares what you have done, where you have been, we are just so happy you finally got here. No one is judging–we usually find such feelings come from inside ourselves as we confront what we are unhappy about in our own past actions. Don’t know where you live but tattoos and piercings would hardly raise an eyebrow here except among us older folks, but most of us at least tolerate such in our beloved grandchildren so are not disposed to judge others on such a flimsy basis.

Your volunteer work I think may prove to be your ticket for success. Look for Jesus among those whom you serve, and with whom you work. Ultimately it is your relationship with him that needs your full undivided attention. Frequent Mass and sacraments, daily prayer, and reading the bible are the time honored and proven ways to foster this closeness, as is service to the poor.

again welcome home

 

[Trishie]

Yes, welcome home.

And enjoy talking to that wonderful Dad of yours, who helped to draw you back to your Faith, who, in a spiritual sense, fathered you again.
My father also was the one with whom I spoke in depth about faith. We resonated and shared, and his faith, always faithful, continued to deepen until he went to Gad last year, with joy. You are blessed to have such a father.

Please don’t feel uncomfortable. The Church is your home. You belong like the rest of us. You indicate that you are not perfect, but most of us aren’t so yes, you belong amongst us as we all try to be better Catholics.

God grant you companions, and if you wish, you may find some here in Catholic Answers

 

[rebekahsp]

Thank you to everyone who posted. I feel encouraged! I emailed the Pastor today and he did tell me to join the RCIA which I am going to sign up for asap. I guess I just didn’t realize that was the process. Thanks again!!