A small bump in the RCIA road

[savedbygrace71]

I started RCIA this September, and it is wonderful. I am growing and learning so much, we have a fantastic group of people- I am happy to finally be converting. I have been a parishioner of my church for nearly six years with my husband and children, and was very nervous and shy to enroll for all these years.

But, I had one small interaction at our last meeting that has me a little upset and I’d like some feedback if I could. The priest has three or four members volunteer with him to help the conversations along- one is an instructor at the Catholic high school. He is very knowledgable and well spoken, but rather proud of it, as he is always smirking and smiling to add in his thoughtful and insightful opinion on things we just don’t know yet…

Anyway, one of the reasons it took me so many years to sign up for the class is I felt very much an outsider- Protestant, previously divorced, clueless on all things Catholic. My DH is a cradle catholic who doesn’t really know how to explain things that he knows instinctively, about Mass and how and why things are happening. It just seemed like everyone knew a million things that I didn’t.

So at this last class, about two months in, we are all a lot more comfortable, and I finally got up the nerve to ask one of my zillion questions. Which was pretty simple- I have a rosary, I have been using it to pray, but I have heard you can get it blessed. What does that mean? What is involved in that, and how does it change things? Well. The high school teacher laughed. I mean actually laughed. I turned to him and said, please, don’t laugh, I really don’t know, and I would really like to know. The priest of course had no problem with the question and gave it a full answer. I mean, for goodness sake. How would I know? I AM NOT CATHOLIC YET. How would I know? Does it involve something in the sanctuary? Do you have to do it during mass? Does it involve holy water? How would I know, right? Just be nice and don’t laugh. What happened to the idea of no stupid questions?
Besides the fact that I just wanted to know what is the difference between one that is blessed and one that isn’t, how is it different afterwards. I embarrassingly found myself with tears in my eyes after a minute. I hate feeling like I am called out for being dumb or saying something stupid.

I am not going to let it slow me down, and I don’t even know what kind of response I am looking for here, but I just want to say to everyone who already knows everything about your faith, remember that those of us who don’t know, it’s a huge mystery to us and we want to know too! It’s interesting and confusing and there is jargon and ins and outs that make no sense yet. I wish I wasn’t so sensitive about it though! Thanks for listening

 

[maryj]

Just a thought…maybe you should pray about and contemplate the reason you are so sensitive when you think someone “thinks” you are stupid, or why you feel as though others think your questions are stupid.

I have knee jerk reactions that boil my blood when I feel as though someone thinks I’m stupid…I know the reason, I had six older brothers that told me I was stupid about pretty much everything I said or did growing up. I know I’m not stupid, and when I get that feeling, I try to remind myself why that feeling is rearing it’s ugly head.

It’s O.k to be frustrated, the answers to your questions will come. Just try and remember that everyone has their own personality, their own traits in the way they respond to others. Give the guy another chance, and may God Bless you ever so generously in your journey home to His church.

 

[kkollwitz]

The Church is better than the sinners who belong to it.

 

[Kristine1957]

I’m a convert too…try to be understanding,

Sometimes people who have been Catholic for many years or all of there life forget “we” don’t have that wonderful knowledge they grew up with. Some things might sound silly to them but to us they are real serious questions. try to not take it to seriously…although get your questions answered… You can always come here to the forum with questions.

By the way…Welcome HOME!!

 

[Deana83]

I’ve had some bumps along the way as well, namely an annulment issue that is taking forever. I’m somewhat shy too and would feel the same as you if someone laughed at my questions. I wouldn’t take it so personally though and let it deter you from the church. Some people are just insensitive and like to feel superior. You’ll find that everywhere. Peace be with you----

 

[MaryT777]

Sorry to hear that you had that experience. I don’t believe anyone should laugh at any question in RCIA and frankly find it rude. Try not to let it get to you too much.

Blessings on your journey to the Catholic faith and stop by here anytime to ask any question! We love questions here.

Mary.

 

[TK421]

I’d just work on your own timidity and pray for the other guy… if he is indeed in need of praying. He might simply be an uncharismatic person (to you), and means no foul or harm.

If you had to spend a ton of time building up your courage to ask such a simple and honest question then you are definitely being enormously, and I mean enormously needlessly paranoid and timid. Not an insult; just a helpful observation. Work on that and pray for it. Sorry to doubt you but I’m getting the impression you’re just completely misinterpreting the catechist’s enthusiasm and levity for something that it isn’t. I really, really doubt he was laughing at you. Maybe I’m wrong, but it just sounds completely absurd, like something you would see in a B-rated sitcom or a teenage high school movie.

God bless you. :hug1:

 

[Geo17]

Why doesn’t someone answer her question here? I was raised Catholic, but back in the olden days, and I don’t know the answer neither.

All I know is a priest makes the sign of the cross over the object he’s blessing, but what is that supposed to do? I don’t know neither.

 

[JM3]

The high school teacher laughed. I mean actually laughed.

Sometimes, certain people and certain situations come into our lives. These can be moments of learning and of conversion. Whether it is to learn humility, patience or forgiveness, this moment has been placed there for you. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in understanding what it is you need to learn. Have you ever treated someone else like this? Will you treat someone like this in the future without intending to? Take this part of the Our Father and meditate on what it means for you, ‘forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us’.

You have chosen a hard and rocky path. These ‘bumps’ and obstacles are no there to hinder you or to make you give up. They are there to teach you and to bring you closer to God.

 

[JM3]

Why doesn’t someone answer her question here?

From the OP’s post:

The priest of course had no problem with the question and gave it a full answer.

I was raised Catholic, but back in the olden days, and I don’t know the answer neither.

All I know is a priest makes the sign of the cross over the object he’s blessing, but what is that supposed to do? I don’t know neither.

catholic.com/quickquestions/what-happens-to-an-object-when-it-is-blessed

newadvent.org/cathen/02599b.htm

 

[Jon_S_1]

I started RCIA this September, and it is wonderful. I am growing and learning so much, we have a fantastic group of people- I am happy to finally be converting. I have been a parishioner of my church for nearly six years with my husband and children, and was very nervous and shy to enroll for all these years.

But, I had one small interaction at our last meeting that has me a little upset and I’d like some feedback if I could. The priest has three or four members volunteer with him to help the conversations along- one is an instructor at the Catholic high school. He is very knowledgable and well spoken, but rather proud of it, as he is always smirking and smiling to add in his thoughtful and insightful opinion on things we just don’t know yet…

Anyway, one of the reasons it took me so many years to sign up for the class is I felt very much an outsider- Protestant, previously divorced, clueless on all things Catholic. My DH is a cradle catholic who doesn’t really know how to explain things that he knows instinctively, about Mass and how and why things are happening. It just seemed like everyone knew a million things that I didn’t.

So at this last class, about two months in, we are all a lot more comfortable, and I finally got up the nerve to ask one of my zillion questions. Which was pretty simple- I have a rosary, I have been using it to pray, but I have heard you can get it blessed. What does that mean? What is involved in that, and how does it change things? Well. The high school teacher laughed. I mean actually laughed. I turned to him and said, please, don’t laugh, I really don’t know, and I would really like to know. The priest of course had no problem with the question and gave it a full answer. I mean, for goodness sake. How would I know? I AM NOT CATHOLIC YET. How would I know? Does it involve something in the sanctuary? Do you have to do it during mass? Does it involve holy water? How would I know, right? Just be nice and don’t laugh. What happened to the idea of no stupid questions?
Besides the fact that I just wanted to know what is the difference between one that is blessed and one that isn’t, how is it different afterwards. I embarrassingly found myself with tears in my eyes after a minute. I hate feeling like I am called out for being dumb or saying something stupid.

I am not going to let it slow me down, and I don’t even know what kind of response I am looking for here, but I just want to say to everyone who already knows everything about your faith, remember that those of us who don’t know, it’s a huge mystery to us and we want to know too! It’s interesting and confusing and there is jargon and ins and outs that make no sense yet. I wish I wasn’t so sensitive about it though! Thanks for listening

Perhaps he was the one who didn’t know about blessing objects, it’s a possibility. Don’t let it get you down

I’ve been in RCIA for 9 months and overall it’s great. The people try their best but they are people too.

I remember one class, first one after a groups rite of welcome , and the instructors got in a huge tangent and started debating amongst themselves on whether screens for the song lyrics should be in churches and talking about the costs of printing bulletins and buying missallettes.

It went on for like 30 mins while we all just watched on.

So it happens everywhere. Hopefully the good experiences will far out weigh the bad.

 

[Lasting_faith]

Sometimes the knowledge become a “religion” for someone, and I mean that he/she find God in knowledge but forget that it is not all that important, what is important though is that we love Christ and He love us. His love keep us from doing wrong things and our love for Him keep us together with Him. So I would say that: don’t think about it, he know much, and his sin is that use his knowledge to make others look daft.

I have all my Rosarys and religious things blessed along with my home. Just ask your priest to do it. If he can’t come to you, take them with you, it is that simple. And if you want your home to be blessed, as I like it to be, ask him to visit when he have the time. That is one of the duties a priest have. God bless and welcome to The RCC.

 

[Joannm]

Why don’t you speak to the man who laughed at you and tell him how you felt. Perhaps he is unaware of how his reactions to questions are making you feel stupid and perhaps the rest of the group might feel the same way. If the priest is present he will hear this and perhaps speak to the catechist. Some people are oblivious as to how their body language, facial expressions or verbal responses can affect people, especially in this situation. By the way you are right, there are no stupid questions in RCIA.

 

[HoosMommie]

Oh, sweetheart, just let it go. In the great scheme of life this is inconsequential. Pray for this man and then engage him in small conversations. You may find he is a wonderful person after all. Ask me how I know this LOL. We all need a second chance once in a while.

 

[debbie_h]

As a recent convert I learnt a lot during RCIA but I do know that I still have a long way to go in my understanding of the Catholic faith. Keep asking questions & May God bless you on your Journey. Welcome home! :hug1:

 

[savedbygrace71]

Sometimes, certain people and certain situations come into our lives. These can be moments of learning and of conversion. Whether it is to learn humility, patience or forgiveness, this moment has been placed there for you. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in understanding what it is you need to learn. Have you ever treated someone else like this? Will you treat someone like this in the future without intending to? Take this part of the Our Father and meditate on what it means for you, ‘forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us’.

You have chosen a hard and rocky path. These ‘bumps’ and obstacles are no there to hinder you or to make you give up. They are there to teach you and to bring you closer to God.

Yes, I may have. Thank you for this. I do have to look inward.

I appreciate all the comments. I am definitely not considering giving up, nowhere near that. It simply hurt my feelings briefly in front of the group, and reminded me of that outsider feeling I have felt for so long. And I didn’t mean to say it took me ages to get up the nerve to ask this particular question more that, for years, I have wondered about every single little thing about the faith and had no one to really ask. So this was one to pop to my head. So when it was out of my mouth and it seemed like it was immediately scoffed at, it took me down a few notches.

 

[SurlyMermaid]

He may not have been laughing at you. It may have reminded him of something else. I’m guilty of that often. People usually misunderstand my body language.

 

[PJM]

=savedbygrace71;11370284]I started RCIA this September, and it is wonderful. I am growing and learning so much, we have a fantastic group of people- I am happy to finally be converting. I have been a parishioner of my church for nearly six years with my husband and children, and was very nervous and shy to enroll for all these years.

But, I had one small interaction at our last meeting that has me a little upset and I’d like some feedback if I could. The priest has three or four members volunteer with him to help the conversations along- one is an instructor at the Catholic high school. He is very knowledgable and well spoken, but rather proud of it, as he is always smirking and smiling to add in his thoughtful and insightful opinion on things we just don’t know yet…

Anyway, one of the reasons it took me so many years to sign up for the class is I felt very much an outsider- Protestant, previously divorced, clueless on all things Catholic. My DH is a cradle catholic who doesn’t really know how to explain things that he knows instinctively, about Mass and how and why things are happening. It just seemed like everyone knew a million things that I didn’t.

So at this last class, about two months in, we are all a lot more comfortable, and I finally got up the nerve to ask one of my zillion questions. Which was pretty simple- I have a rosary, I have been using it to pray, but I have heard you can get it blessed. What does that mean? What is involved in that, and how does it change things? Well. The high school teacher laughed. I mean actually laughed. I turned to him and said, please, don’t laugh, I really don’t know, and I would really like to know. The priest of course had no problem with the question and gave it a full answer. I mean, for goodness sake. How would I know? I AM NOT CATHOLIC YET. How would I know? Does it involve something in the sanctuary? Do you have to do it during mass? Does it involve holy water? How would I know, right? Just be nice and don’t laugh. What happened to the idea of no stupid questions?
Besides the fact that I just wanted to know what is the difference between one that is blessed and one that isn’t, how is it different afterwards. I embarrassingly found myself with tears in my eyes after a minute. I hate feeling like I am called out for being dumb or saying something stupid.

I am not going to let it slow me down, and I don’t even know what kind of response I am looking for here, but I just want to say to everyone who already knows everything about your faith, remember that those of us who don’t know, it’s a huge mystery to us and we want to know too! It’s interesting and confusing and there is jargon and ins and outs that make no sense yet. I wish I wasn’t so sensitive about it though! Thanks for listening

First WECOME!

Perhaps you’ve heard the expression: “open HIS mouth and removed all doubt”; it seems to fit here. His reaction to a DARN GOOD question * was inexcusible! And certainly not Christ-like.

All bellesed ITEMS are termed “sacramentals” [they can lead one TOWARDS the sacraments but are NOT thyemselves “sacraments.” They ARE “holy things” and ought to be treated with reverence.

Most sacramental are only blessed by a priest with no formalized ceremony. Anything that can and is intended to assist one in becomming more “holy” can be included. Rosaries, medals, crosses, holy cards, bibles, prayer books are all examples. But so are Holy Water, The Stations of the Cross, Statues and other such items.

The difference between a “blessed” item and that same ithem NOT being blessed are primary two:

The amount of grace God will offer to the user is greater when its Blessed
The amount of reverence and respect MUST also differ

I’m TRULY sorry about your bad experiece. No doubt it was a “gut reaction” WITHOUT thought or the necessary consideration of your feelings. From a teacher this is a seriours error. Forgive him and say a prayer that he’ll do better next time.

We are delighted you have shown the courage to get involved nd join the FORUM too

God Bless you!
Patrick [PJM] here on the FORUM*

 

[savedbygrace71]

Thank you PMJ, thank you very much for the kind words and welcome It means a lot!

 

[JesseConley]

I would suggest that you tell this teacher how he makes you feel. Is he a part of the RCIA class or is he just coming to help? That would make a big difference in how to approach this. But overall, the class is going to be a safe place to stand up for yourself and I would really suggest that you talk to him directly. Don’t use the priest to do it for you because that won’t help you as a person. Telling the smug person why this class is important to you and how he is making your learning more difficult would be great practice for telling people in the outside world why you believe in the Church. Just take a deep breath and lovingly confront him.

But then again, the poster who mentioned you should learn why that gets to you so much is also correct. To be Catholic I have seen, is to be part of a counter-culture group and you will be placed in the spotlight more and more often to defend your faith to people. If you get upset and have a hard time when someone laughs, you will REALLY have a bad time when an atheist takes you to task. Use this as a situation to make yourself stronger.